Original Take.
Monty: “You were working as a waitress at a cocktail bar, when I met you.”
Donna: “But even then I knew I’d find a much better place, either with or without you.”
Rewind, Take Two.
Donna: “Whatever you do, don’t go near the roasted pig.”
Monty: “So you’ve met my father?”
Rewind, Take Three.
Donna: “Darling, you know I don’t really care for you inviting all of your poker buddies over on a Friday night.”
Monty: “How is that different from you inviting all those tight-assed women over for your book club?”
Donna: “Because they don’t drink all the beer and leave the toilet seat up.”
Monty: “Oh, come on. Boys will be boys.”
Donna: “And divorce lawyers will be divorce lawyers. So if you don’t want to meet mine, I suggest you go to Plan B.”
Rewind, Take Four.
Donna: “Where have you been? We sacrificed the goat an hour ago.”
Rewind, Take Five.
Melania: “Have you been out grabbing things again?”
Trump: “I have never grabbed anything in my entire life.”
Melania: “But you smell like Stormy Daniels.”
Trump: “I did not have sex with that tramp. And I will fire anybody who can prove it.”
Melania: “Oh, please. We all know you’re not happy unless you’re screwing somebody.”
Rewind, Take Six.
Donna: “I’m sorry, that’s not the right password and I can’t let you in.”
Monty: “Password? There wasn’t a password last night.”
Donna: “Well, those dumbass American tariffs kicked in at midnight and you can no longer afford to drink here.”
Rewind, Take Seven.
Donna: “Do you want the red pill or the blue pill?”
Monty: “I want the pill where I’m not considered a failure if I don’t get the obscure movie references at Bonnywood Manor.”
Rewind, Take Eight.
Donna: “When I was a little girl, I dreamt that I would grow up and find a man just like you who would buy me nice things and make me very happy.”
Monty: “I had the same dream!”
Donna: “Did she look like me?”
Monty: “No, he looked like Ricardo Montalbán and he welcomed me to Fantasy Island. In more ways than one. I still get moist every time an Expedia ad pops up in my browser.”
Original take posted in “Crusty Pie” on 04/05/15. Obviously, considerable changes made for this version as I tinkered with things far too much. Perhaps one day I will have more focus in my life. Or maybe not…
Donna: “I always thought Ricardo was kind of hot.”
Monty: “Girl, you have no idea.”
Donna: “So… are things bigger in the tropics?”
Monty: “Yep. Well, except for that little guy that kept running around and hollering about a plane…”
Categories: Past Imperfect
Haha.. Each one better than the previous one. I salute your humour and imagination☺
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Thank you! It’s fun doing the multi-takes just to see how far I can go with each of them… 😉
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What a great party mix of options.
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A good host should always make sure there are snacky bits for everyone…
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Poor Donna, she makes the effort to get all dressed up, yet Monty (and seemingly all the other men at the party) can just come in dressed like he is heading for the beach!
Ricardo was one fine man. 😉
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Isn’t that how it always is? The women do their best and the men phone it in. Oh, well, life goes on. And yes, Ricardo was fine, indeed. 🙂
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Tell me about it. I think Donna should show Monty the door!
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He looks like he got out on he grumpy side of the bed, and she looks like she got out on the cranky side.
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True, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of happiness in that photo. Perhaps they both need to just relax and read some past posts on Bonnywood, hmm?… 😉
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hehehehe – yes, I think that might do it. The snorting would certainly relax them.
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Take Whatever the hell number is next:
Monte: I say! Didn’t you get the memo that this was a beach party? Haute couteur is so last decade..
Donna: What? Have you been reading the dictionary again? I told you not to do that. It only confuses people because you don’t look like the sort of guy who could spell ‘halter top’.
Monte: I should be offended. Shouldn’t I?
Donna: Point made.
Monte: Huh?
Donna: I dressed this way because I’m apparently the only woman here. Thought I’d spend some time fishing in the marriage pond. A girl (snort from Monte at the ‘girl’ reference) really must gild the lily. Those waitress roots are a bitch to shake off. Even after five years..”
Monte: Uh, honey? You don’t have the right bait. Wake up and smell the testosterone…
Donna: You mean?? *gasp* Oh my gawd. How gauche!”
Monte: Yes I mean. I think the word you were grasping for was ‘gaucho”. You really do need to start reading your emails in a timely manner. This is a hoe down sans hoes. Men ONLY sweetie. And I’m the one that supposed to be a bit light on the brain cells. Sheesh.. *eye roll*
Background music is, of course, “Don’t You Want Me?” Human League
Me: Ugh. My bit started out funny and lost it’s way. For some reason the follow link was broken betwixt you and I, if you took me off the list, I’ll understand
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I SO miss your humor.
But no, I didn’t take you off the list, at least not intentionally. (WordPress, as we both know, is guilty of some behind-the-scenes nefariousness.) I did notice that I hadn’t heard from you in a while, and I wasn’t sure what might be going on, but I’ve been on this platform long enough to know that sometimes even really good digital friends can drift apart through no real fault of either party. Still, I thought I might have offended you in some way.
In fact, I realized your absence might be more than just a temporary glitch right after I made this post:
https://brianlageose.blog/2018/06/09/a-post-about-the-post-that-i-should-have-already-posted/
In that one, I talked about finally posting “Bonnywood Embassy”, and when you didn’t chime in, I again thought that I had offended. So I haven’t moved forward with “Embassy” out of respect for your possible dissatisfaction.
Then I got busy with the Spain thing and I was out of pocket and my social media efforts went to hell and, well, here we are. I’m hoping this was all just missed connections and misunderstandings and we can pick right back up…
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I love this – well done! 😀 Best line – I’ll fire
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WordPress is the culprit. When I saw your “Topaz” on Maddie’s Hitchcock-A-Thon, I went snooping. You were summarily removed from my watched list. I didn’t say nobody could do that btw. And Bonnywood Embassy awaits your pleasure. I’ve got my stuff over here, you’ve got your stuff over there…let’s go! 😀
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Thank you. 🙂
Things do go wonky on WP every now and then.
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… anyone who can prove that I did!
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And you know The Cheeto is going to try and do just that…
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I was married to that roasted pig once upon a time. I traded up to the sacrificial goat and all is bubbles and rainbows in my world 😉
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Why am I suddenly feeling the urge to compose some sort of George Orwell-scented allegory?… 😉
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Please do!
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I like how much fun you’re having with this.
If I’m being asked to choose one, my preference is with the last only because he finally finds happiness. He had so little in his life, poor dear.
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The “Variations” angle is my new fetish, partly due to the fun of coming up with different angles and partly due to the hope that one or two of them actually work… 😉
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