Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #65

By on • ( 32 Comments )

All of the Hollingsworth women knew that the only way to survive their family reunions was to “step outside for some fresh air”…

 

 

Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 03/10/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 02/23/16. No changes made. Sometimes simple is better.

In a rare move, I’m including a snippet of commentary conversation from the previous posting of this bit, mainly because it entertained me, but partly because I feel guilty about publishing a post that only has 23 words, which feels like a cheat at Bonnywood.

CJ Hartwell: “The first one never had a drink in her life. She’s being led astray by her cousins. Poor thing.”

Brian: “That’s EXACTLY what happened to me! (And I believe I was wearing the same outfit when it happened.) I was an angelic little lad, bathed in the glory of goodness, when one of my errant cousins turned to me and asked ‘Thirsty?’ Depravity ensued.”

 

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32 replies »

  8. And see how elegantly they retain their clutch-bags despite slugging back the hard stuff …. these are certainly girls who learned the right way at their finishing school. One knows these things 😉

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  10. Er, how did you get a copy of the photo of Ma and her kin? I knew those women had some way of coping with life in Utah in the 50s. Especially if one were unmarried at 28 years of age, and were labelled as “good personality” girls meaning the local lads found them unattractive and therefore un marriageable. Of course the spirit in those bottles has roughly 1/4 the alcohol content of other places, and one had to chug it in order to receive even the tiniest buzz. Ma is deceased, and most of the other women are too, so you should have no fear of ugly lawsuits involving photo usage. Auntie (the one nearest the right, wearing that stupid bow and guzzling for all her might) is alive and she’s certifiable. I’d be careful if she discovers this. Oh hell. What am I worrying about ? Auntie has no computer nor access and would deem your site “subversive” even if she did see it. And she’s the one who has (in the past) gone out and yelled at the garbage men for doing their jobs because “they made too much noise” and scraping dead animals off the tarmac and flipping on coming traffic the bird when they almost hit her for doing the scraping. She also communes with wolves (supposedly). Her children (my cousins) and I all wish one would eat her already and save expenses vis a vis burying the old terror IF she ever drops dead…

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    • Wow, this comment certainly went dark with amazing rapidity at the end, proving once again that we were destined to meet each other. There is nothing more satisfying than starting out a piece of writing in a whimsical fashion, throwing in a few accusations of photographic theft, stirring in a few grittier ingredients involving the unfairness of dating standards and alcohol content, and then wrapping it up nicely with visions of a savage but cost-saving wildlife incident. More, please. 😉

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  14. I stand by my original comment, #1 has no idea how to hold a bottle. Though upon further reflection, #3 isn’t doing so hot either. She looks like she’s more accustomed to using it as a musical instrument.

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