Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #396

Well, since we’re just mere days away, I thought I should drag out a few Halloween posts…


Carole first realized that perhaps she had gotten off at the wrong subway stop when that whiny little girl from The Exorcist began waving about an inverted crucifix. She braced herself accordingly.

Whiny Girl: “You dare to enter my lair? I will evictorate you!”

Carole: “Oh my God! No! I have a family at home and… wait a minute. What did you just say?”

Whiny Girl: “I will evictorate you!”

Carole: “I’m sorry, that’s not even a word, and I can’t allow these proceedings to continue.”

Whiny Girl: “How dare you challenge me? I’ve been possessed by demons. You’ve been possessed by a poor sense of fashion. I think I win.”

Carole: “You don’t understand. I’m an English teacher. I simply cannot die in a scene that involves bad spelling.”

Whiny Girl: “Oh. Well, I was never very good in school, which is probably how the succubus invaded my personal space. Perhaps you could help me out?”

Carole: “I would think that the word you’re ineptly trying to pronounce is eviscerate. It seems appropriate, given the plot thus far. But as I’ve never been possessed by a demon, I’m not clear on your character development. What is it, exactly, that you wish to do to me?”

Whiny Girl: “I want to suck out your soul and destroy everything decent in the world.”

Carole: “That seems a bit harsh, but we all have different callings. I believe the word you’re looking for is trump. You want to trump me.”

Whiny Girl: “Trump? That word doesn’t sound very scary to me.”

Carole: “It didn’t scare anybody until he got elected. Now, can we wrap things up here? I’m late for a slam-poetry reading at the Taco Bell in Newark.”


Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 08/17/16 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 10/31/16 and 10/25/17. Dramatically modified over the various postings, going from a single line to what we now have. That’s just how it goes at Bonnywood, where you might think you’ve seen it before but you really haven’t, and double-dipping is never a crime…


19 replies »

  1. There are remedies for possession, werewolves, vampires, ghouls, zombies and mostly any other supernatural creature one can think of …. BUT for that *shudder gag* T monster? None has been found. It’ll take someone armed with common sense, honesty, ethics and a silver (no make that GOLD, I mean who we talking about..he’d never even pay attention to silver)… stake dipped in Holy Water blessed by no fewer than fifteen devote clergy (and that part is probably impossible..) to even dent the bad juju, black aura and whatever else protects that orange piece of poo. Nigh indestructible in other words. But even Superman had his kryptonite…T dump has something. Now if one can just FIND it..

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are exactly right. There is kryptonite with that sad excuse of a man, and eventually he will be taken down. But how will we stop his legions of unholy followers? That’s the trickier question…


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