Arrogant Detective: “Are you actually telling me that you can’t identify the person driving this car?”
Frustrated Potential Witness Who Didn’t Really See Anything: “How on earth am I supposed to know that?”
Detective: “Don’t trifle with me. The security camera at Beulah’s Emporium of Wanton Sex Toys captured you in this very spot when the crime was being committed. We know you didn’t do it, because you were making things all about yourself, regurgitating the evening’s libations into the gutter in a careless manner. But the confiscated film clearly shows you looking out into the street at the very moment the shot was fired.”
Witness: “The shot? Please don’t say that word. I’m getting wobbly at the mere mention. I just want to go home and eat an entire pizza before my head explodes.”
Detective: “Again with the self-centeredness. No wonder this country now has an idiot as a president. I should take you in just for being obstinate. You might have avoided jury duty with your weak lie about having to care for an elderly relative that doesn’t exist, but you’re in a pickle now.”
Witness: “Wait, how do you know about my aunt… what did I say her name was?”
Detective: “I know this because everything you’ve ever done is now on the Internet, in full technicolor and bulging with trashy links that you can click on and watch stupid ads for things that you are never going to buy. Say, maybe you should do that so it will jog your fogged memory.”
Witness: “Do what? I am so confused about everything right now. It’s just like my first marriage.”
Detective: “Go on the Internet and see if you can figure out who is driving that car.”
Witness: “But why would I do that? How would I do that? You already said I did nothing wrong and now you want me to decipher something I don’t care about? Why are you doing this to me?”
Detective: “Because this is Bonnywood Manor, where we are all about the trivia. And we know that at least one person reading this post will dig deep and figure out who is driving that Lincoln Continental Landau.”
Witness: “I hate you a little bit right now.”
Detective: “And that reminds me of my first marriage.”
Note: Tags that would normally assist you in resolving this mystery are intentionally not being mentioned, because doing so would muck up the challenge. Go forth and click!
Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 09/01/17. No changes made. Those of you who are especially industrious may try to find that original post on Crusty, wherein there are comments to be reviewed that will give you hints. (There’s even a correct response from a long-time Bonnywood guest, but she was gracious enough to not fully reveal her answer yet still let me know that she knew.) I’ll try to keep an eye on this post and let loose with some of the hints I loosened over there, but you know how I am. If something shiny catches my attention I may not get back to this post for three days. Bonne chance!
Categories: Past Imperfect