Humor

25 Popular Song Titles in an Alternate Universe

Note: Some of these are a bit dated now, but here at Bonnywood we embrace our decay…

 

1. Lady Gaga – “Shorn This Way”

2. Fun – “We Are Egg Foo Yung”

3. Roberta Flack – “Killing Me Softly with His Thong”

4. Gotye – “Somebody That I Used To Know Until Her Backing Vocals Annoyed Me (Why Are You Wailing Like That? Remix)”

5. Meatloaf – “Pair Of Dice By The Dashed Bud Light

6. The Beatles – “Hey Dude (Take A Sad Bong and Make It Better)”

7. Maroon 5 – “Moves Like Jagger (Until That Odd Bit Where Christina Shows Up and Doesn’t Really Fit with The Rest of The Song)”

8. The Knack – “Mice Are On Ya”

9. Rihanna – “Umbrella” (Ella Fitzgerald Tribute Mix)

10. Lady Antebellum – “Need You Later”

11. Beyonce – “Single Babies (Put a Diaper on It)”

12. Kelly Clarkson – “My Life Would Suck Without YouTube

13. Katy Perry – “I Kissed a Girl for The Demographics”

14. Colbie Caillat – “Bubba Lee (Effervescent Hillbilly Mix)”

15. James Blunt – “You’re Beautiful until The Drugs Wear Off”

16. Barbra Streisand – “The Way We Never Actually Were”

17. Rolling Stones – “Sympathy For The Deviled Eggs”

18. Dolly Parton – “I Will Always Love This Song Because I Made a Ton of Money off the Royalties”

19. Madonna – “Impress Yourself”

20. Van Morrison – “Brown Eyed Girl Is Not The Only Song I Ever Sang, People”

21. R.E.M. – “It’s the End of the World and I Feel Really Special Because Nobody Can Sing All the Words to This Song Except Me”

22. Corey Hart – “Sunglasses At Night Are Essentially Pointless But Very Sexy”

23. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band – “Road up the Caboose, Another Stunner of a Flight” (The Possibly Rude but Probably Just Misunderstood Remix)

24. Kesha – “We R Who We R (And We’re Too Self-Indulgent to Actually Spell Out All the Words)”

25. Adele – “Rumor Has It That No Matter What Station You Pick, One of My Songs Will Be Playing”

 

Previously published in “The Sound and the Fury” on 06/08/12 (thereby explaining the dusty aspect of some then-current hits) and “Bonnywood Manor” on 02/09/17. (In the closing note for the last version, I mentioned adding a new song that tied in with a comment discussion on a prior post. I no longer remember which song I added or what the conversation might have been. Memory becomes a wretched beast once you get that AARP card in the mail.) Slight revisions made for this post, changes which I won’t remember the next time I re-share this mess.

Story behind the photo: This is a close-up of a pillow I stumbled across in Bed Bath & Beyond. I thought the other-worldly texture would be fun for this post.

Secondary story behind the photo: Truth be told, I picked something random off my phone and pretended that I was making an artistic statement.

Tertiary story behind the photo: I have since used the same photo a number of times for other posts, proving my trampiness when it comes to photo selection. One gets desperate at 2am and poor decisions ensue.

Am I rambling? I seem to be rambling.

Cleo the Cat: “Just go to bed, Daddy. Even I’M embarrassed for you at this point.”

 

14 replies »

  1. I thought that picture was a ‘desaturated’ (it’s a Photoshop term and means one makes ordinary things look sepia toned and rather antiquated IF one is trying to do that) handful of shoe string potatoes. Hey! It’s early and I haven’t eaten yet.. I admit to snerkling loudly at the songs I did recognize. Now the amount of those songs that I didn’t? HUGE. Uh, either that means I’m out of touch (probable) or the songs were awful and didn’t ping my radar (possible)…I’m going with the I’m out of touch option. You wouldn’t choose awful songs, I doubt you could. Now I’m going to scamper away and try to think of songs that need title tweakage, and which will mystify readers far and wide because I tend to listen to some really unknown stuff…

    Liked by 1 person

    • First, I really like the shoe string potatoes angle. If I had more gumption, I could probably wrote an entire blog post based on that perception, but since I’m essentially lazy, this will most likely not happen…

      As for the song selections, well, some of them aren’t necessarily indications of quality. Most of them I do like, but there are several I included just because I could get an easy twist out of the words, an admission that basically explains the entire concept behind Bonnywood Manor… 😉

      Like

    • I completely agree with your assessment. That first big album was Da Bomb. They’ve had some interesting singles since then, but they’ve basically caved to commercialism, and I’d rather go clean lint out of the dryer trap than listen to an entire album…

      Like

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