Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #200

Theresa, left: “You could have told me that the window was open. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have slapped my lover and he wouldn’t have fallen out of it.”

Barbara, right: “That’s your own personal issue. I have problems of my own. Like this damn skirt that is riding way too high. I’m getting a rash.”

Theresa: “I don’t know if I can continue living here. You have too many dark secrets. Why is that coffee pot way the hell over there? Neither one of us can reach it.”

Barbara: “Still don’t care. Did I mention the rash?”

Theresa: “And why don’t the chairs match at this table?”

Barbara: “Well, there was this poker game one night. And I didn’t win.”

Theresa: “And the slot machines behind us?”

Barbara: “Same night, different story.”

Theresa: “Is this the point when I should mention that I’ll be moving out at the end of the month? It’s been swell, but you’ve got issues and I only have so much time on this planet.”

Barbara: “You’re not going anywhere while your lover is ass-up in the alley. I am not about to lose my security deposit on this dump just because you can’t focus your anger in the right places. Now, figure out how to reach that coffee pot. We’ve got a body to hide and it’s going to be a long night.”

Theresa: “Girl, it sounds like you might have done this kind of thing before.”

Barbara: “Of course I have. I work for the Trump Administration. We hide things every day.”

 

Previously shared in “Crusty Pie” and “Bonnywood Manor”. Some changes made for this post.

 

14 replies »

    • In certain segments of American society, working for the Trump Administration is considered the highest honor since Mary Magdalene washed the feet of Jesus with her hair. Future anthropologists will struggle with this concept for centuries to come…

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  1. That whole chairs don’t match the table thing just means one is eclectic in one’s tastes. I have a similar situation in my own home. My table is an antique, made by my paternal grandfather, and ‘improved’ by hubby, because the base of the thing was NOT sturdy and stuff kept falling off the table because it wobbled more than a drunk in a high wind. I bought two new dining room chairs when I moved in 2013, but the cost was so wickedly high that buying the whole dining room set would have made me poor a full year earlier than it has occurred. Some things are not worth the cost. I picked up two similar, if not as sturdily made, knock offs at a yard sale for $1.50 a piece. And no they don’t match, but they work. That’s the point of having chairs. So one can sit on them and not have them collapse, leading to remarks about the adipose of one’s derriere. Not that Ms. Stanwyck NOR Ms. Harris had to worry about that. T-dump is a moron, but like many males, he only hires those women with ‘assets’ on the slim side, except in the bust. Well allegedly. For all I know he has a life time subscription to “Fatty Fannies” which he treasures and uses to full advantage when he finds hiimself alone. After all Mistress Palm and her five sisters are the only women who probably go within touching distance of that slime wad. I’m pretty sure even Melania (the bitch) doesn’t ‘do’ him any more. No percentage in it.

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    • Once again, you have presented me with a plethora of delightful avenues to pursue, but I must limit my response as we only have so much time to dispose of the lover in the alley before a certain knock comes on the door.

      I’m also a fan of eclectic, which should not surprise you, so I have a vast history of mismatched choices when it comes to enhancing my various abodes over the years. In fact, I often felt a bit out of sorts when things were stylistically harmonious in my dwellings, resorting to the dragging of items to the curb, compelled by the shame of potential accusations of conformity. Life is to be lived, not coordinated…

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    • Of course I gave her more lines. This is Bonnywood. Everybody gets more lines, whether or not the dialogue has any true relevance. But I wasn’t aware of the Houston angle. Two points for the sleuthing, Nancy D….. 😉

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