Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #260

Photographer: “Giselle, I need you to show more emotion. You look like you’re having a root canal.”

Giselle: “But Henri, there are always the cameras in my life. I am bored and unsatisfied.”

Henri: “You are wearing the latest fashions from the hottest designer, Chanel de Coco Puffs. You should appear to be on the verge of orgasm due to the exquisiteness of the couture. You should not be clutching your head like the voices are speaking to you again.”

Giselle: “The voices are speaking to me. They are saying I should find a better agent.”

Henri: “Silly girl. We are in Paris in the springtime, even though I am using black and white film and I know that confuses you. This is a beautiful city full of treasures.”

Giselle: “Treasures? Like the homeless man who just walked up and peed on your tripod?”

Henri: “But we are making art, mon cherie. We must use our passion to embrace everything that comes our way. Perhaps the tinkling on the tripod is the muses giving us insight into the human spirit, yes?”

Giselle: “Mais non, Henri. The tinkling man is not a muse. It is Julian Assange, looking for another country that will give him the diplomatic immunity while he plays the spying games with computers.”

Henri: “Ah, I now better understand what ‘wikileaks’ means. I must change the film stock to better capture this moment of epiphany.”

Julian: “Anybody know the password that will get me to the dark net? The hipster beard I am growing has affected my short-term memory.”

Giselle: “I do not know such things, Bearded Tinkle Man. But there is the Russian embassy down the street, non?”


Previously published in “Crusty Pie”. Modified and extended for this post. I realize the Assange angle is a bit cryptic for those who have not followed the story, but I couldn’t help myself. The muses spoke to me, mes amis…


16 replies »

  1. Giselle looks like there’s more than a tripod stuffed up that skirt. Then again, it could be that she’s just in a great deal of pain because she can find no decent place to sit down that doesn’t reveal the fact that she’s not wearing any underwear and had forgotten her photo shoot, and the starch in that skirt might just drive her to acts of violence.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There DOES seem to be a lot going on with that dress. (The Ace bandage winching her waist? How can she breath? Maybe that’s why she looks anemic.) It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Julian was hiding under there before he decided to go sniff around the tripod…


  2. Dang, did Julian make a run for it again? Even for a creep, he can sure get around.

    You know, I’m thinking I should feel bad for Giselle because that dress must be uncomfortable and surely her heels are pinching terribly. And yet, I cannot because, well, the dress is lovely but more importantly, her hair! My God, her hair! Who is her hairdresser Brian? WHO?! I simply MUST KNOW!


    Liked by 1 person

    • Dearest Christi: It’s time for an intervention. It’s very clear that you consumed far too much of something before you typed this comment. Was it the blueberry cobbler again? The freshly-ground coffee with the dollop of artisan creamer? The energy drink which gives momma that little edge so she can clean the entire house in seven minutes?

      We’re here for you. Just let us know how we can help…. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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