Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #194

By posing for this photo, Bill and Mary Franklin are adding weight to the theorem that couples in long-term relationships tend to start looking like one another. In the left background, Bill Junior is saddened by the vision of what his future holds. In the further right background, an in-the-closet billboard model is desperately trying to prove he is something that he’s not…

Policeman: “Sir, I need you to hand over that camera.”

Me: “Wait, what? Why?”

Policeman: “Because you were talking while you were taking the picture. That makes it a documentary. And we don’t allow documentaries that show how people really are in this city.”

Me: “I don’t understand. Just like you don’t understand what a documentary is.”

Policeman: “Don’t argue with me. That’s police brutality. Do you want me to charge you with two felonies? Because I’d really like to. Make my day.”

Me: “Hold up. It’s a felony to make a documentary in this city? Where the hell am I? North Korea?”

Policeman: “This is Washington, DC, buddy. We don’t play. Unless it’s with other people’s money.”

Me: “So, that couple in the masks…”

Policeman: “They’re Republican senators. I would think the masks made that obvious. Did you not graduate from high school? Hit your head at some point?”

Me: “No, I got it now. They don’t want anyone to see them for what they really are.”

Policeman: “How else are they going to get elected? Now, hand over the camera.”

Me: “Sure thing. Hang on while I… say, do you know anything about cloud storage?”

Policeman: “That sounds like climate change. Climate change is a myth, according to the new police procedurals issued by the White House.”

Me: “Wow. Is there anything that Trump hasn’t touched?”

Policeman: “None of those rumors are true and the women are liars.”

Me: “Okay, then. Well, hang on a sec while I push this button over here and…. waiting, waiting… and done.”

Policeman: “Wait, did you just hide some documentation?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know anything about that. You’d have to ask Trump about hiding things. It’s the only true accomplishment of his administration.”

Policeman: “You better not share anything that will make Trump run to Twitter like an overheated wildebeest.”

Me: “I would never dream of it. Here’s the camera.”

Policeman: “Got it. Okay, we’re done here. Now run along and stop being such a socialist.”


And… post.


Previously published in “Crusty Pie”. Considerably changed and extended for this particular lark.


17 replies »

  1. I have a severe case of Coulrophobia and the sight of those whatevers dressed up as such have rendered me almost mute. Even if they were trying to be a bit high tone with the subtle reference to Punchinello and Columbina (no, she wasn’t in Rocky Horror in sequins and a really strange hat)…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I actually did pause for a moment before posting, wondering about the coulrophobia impact and whether or not I should add a bit of apologia to the discourse, but then I decided that clowns can show up at any time and we might as well be prepared for it.

      Kudos for the Punchinello and Columbina reference, though. That was amazingly astute and deft of you, not that I should be surprised… 😉


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