The ducks seemed to have reached an impasse, both physically and spiritually…

Pablo de Pato, bottom: “But why won’t you join me on the dark side?

Ducky Bob: “Because it is the dark side, Pablo. You do wretched things and no one seems very happy about it. Except you.”

Pablo: “Oh, that’s just my job. I can do fun things, swear. Besides, I’ve grown used to you following me around.”

Ducky Bob: ‘You were paying me to do that. I’ve grown tired of tormenting vacationers who only know the Spanish words for beer and bathroom. It’s time for a career change, something that doesn’t involve hiding in fruit trees and swatting at horse flies the size of my head.”

Pablo: “Well, there is one thing you might find more enjoyable.”

Ducky Bob: “I’m not holding my breath. You and I have different ideas of fun, based on the way you were giggling when you tipped over the cows last night.”

Pablo: “Would you go with me to the Pride Parade in Valencia.”

Ducky Bob: “…”

Pablo: “Did I offend you?”

Ducky Bob: “No, I just I did NOT see that coming.”

Pablo: “Neither will Valenica.”

Ducky Bob: “What makes you think I’m gay?”

Pablo: “Well, with a name like yours, I just assumed. And you have that picture of Antonio Banderas in your locker.”

Ducky Bob: “I only have that photo so I can copy his hairstyle. It has nothing to do with the way he glistens in the sun and his accent makes my feathers stiffen.”

Pablo: “Me, too! Only my photo is of Boris Johnson.”

Ducky Bob: “You’re not a very good gay, if that’s the case. He’s a wretched twit who couldn’t style his hair if his life depended on it.”

Pablo: “Oh, I’m not gay.”

Ducky Bob: “That makes more sense, since I don’t see how you could have made it past the nominating committee. But why would you want to go to a pride parade with me? Are you planning on doing something mortifyingly offensive?”

Pablo: “Of course not. I like you and you’re my friend. Why wouldn’t I support you?”

Ducky Bob: “I’m not sure how to respond to that. Mainly because I wasn’t all that fond of you until about five minutes ago.”

Pablo: “Say yes! We can leave right now and still make the opening ceremonies. I understand they’re giving away light-up nipple rings to the first 500 ducks. You really aren’t doing pride right unless your chest can light the way to the next bar on the circuit.”

Ducky Bob: “Okay, fine. Let’s do this. But you’re gonna have to come over here to pick me up. I am not crossing this nasty gulch in my Prada leather sandals.”

Pablo: “Be right there. Just give me a second to grab my Boris Johnson photo and let my wife know I won’t be home for dinner.”

Happy Pride Month to all who celebrate such, including the supporters who cross the gulch for their friends, feathered and otherwise…