Once again, we’ve reached that point in the week where you lovely folks have the thrilling opportunity to decipher a random photo and make sense of what is happening. (True confession: I originally did the first “Almost Wordless” as a one-off, a gentle warp of the “Wordless Wednesday” photography trend here on WordPress. But the responses were surprisingly copious and immensely entertaining, so we’ll continue this little theme for now, at least until everyone gets sick of it and we move on to something else.)
A few background details to assist you with your whimsical interpretations:
This photo was taken in 2015, not 1985, despite the vibrant couture and possible break-dancing that may or may not be occurring.
This photo was taken in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, allowing you to rely on backwoods stereotypes, should you need some creative inspiration.
The “performance space” is my sister’s dining-room table. If you’re intrigued by the dungeon-esque, possibly S&M flavor of the metal band on the table, you’ll have to speak with her about the connotation. I was not involved in the purchase of said table and cannot be accused of aiding and abetting.
I really don’t know what those things are in the upper left of the image, even though I was there at the time, taking the photo as I did. We’ll just assume that I’m clinging to a psychological blackout of some kind. (How can she do that without damaging her special portals? Fade to black.)
But, to my knowledge, no one was harmed during the production of this artistic installation. Then again, Oklahoma is a red state, so I’m sure there was discrimination of some kind happening somewhere around us. It’s just the way the wind blows.
Okay, that should get you started.
Entrance me with your comments. It’s the right thing to do.
Cheers.
Categories: Humor
Bonnywood Manor 
I’m afraid I am going to do the wrong thing and just say, bahahaha
Dear Lord, what is that thing?
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Trust, that’s a perfectly appropriate response. I won’t go into the full details on what transpired just before I snapped this photo, but I will admit to some degree of guilt… 😉
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hahaha I would be lying if I said I am shocked to hear that
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Entrance you? Brian, really. I haven’t entranced anyone since I was … well, a couple of decades ago. Unless you’re talking about entrance as in doors. If that’s the case, I can be a really great door. With locks and everything. 😉
But I digress.
I love how Mattel (or whoever) has developed an anatomically incorrect doll that has a) an eating disorder (notice the skinny limbs) b) a self-mutilation disorder (notice those brownish lines on the legs and upper arms) c) poor clothing choices (what are those things on her feet? They give a new definition to the term clodhopper.); and d) poor style choices (one part of her hair matches those “boots” on her feet. Did she steal those boots from a sasquatch? Are sasquatches green? Red? Hairless? Your hairdresser wants to know! The doll certainly doesn’t.). Okay, I’m getting carried away. Time to go. 🙂
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You hit on a very good point. Most of the dolls available to children are not realistic and represent ideals that most wee bairns can never hope to achieve, potentially causing much more harm than good, Children should be able to see THEMSELVES in the toys they covet, not a limited array of focus-group perfection. Of course, when I was that wee bairn, I was looking for a doll that represented “young gayling in the country who actually PLAYED sports but did not like most country jocks and yearned to be around boys who could kick a ball with precision and then listen to opera on the way home from the game”. I can see how it would have been a bit hard to come up with a doll like that. But still… 😉
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“Oh no!” Draculaura screamed “Quick everyone, Amy is coming back!” The toys all stopped playing and fell to the ground. Except for Rochelle. She proved once again how awkward and uncoordinated she really was in the most basic of moves.
(This house has seen its share of Monster High dolls :-))
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Great interpretation! (And yes, it’s a Monster High doll. We have a nephew who, at least at the time of the photo, simply could not imagine life without having a retinue of such.)
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Who ever said high heels were sensible?
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Certainly not me. Those things are just wrong in all kinds of ways…
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(I’m glomming onto Robyn’s name for said dolly – I don’t have a clue what the hell that doll might be named ((if at all)) not having had any children’s toys in my own attic (I do have COLLECTIBLES though. Different thing entirely) Rochelle lay on the dance floor cursing the designer of said ‘floor’. A cute-ish little imp-ess named Felicia had been playing “80s Dance OFF!” with her collection of dolls (of whom Rochelle had been one). In mid Chicken Dance mode move – Rochelle slipped on her impossible footwear (or are those in-line skates??) and fell to the ‘floor’ (who puts steel and rivets on a ‘floor? Ow. ) verifying the fact that she was wearing no underwear and that a wedgie is painful even if the fabric is allegedly ‘silk’. A simultaneous front and back door wedgie really HURTS too. “Double your pleasure, double your fun” Rochelle’s possibly broken ass! At least it took Rochelle’s mind off her broken knee and wrist. Surgery or the trash can were surely in Rochelle’s future. It seemed very bleak.
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As usual, you had me giggling in the way that only you can do. And, as usual, there is one line that I really love: “Surgery or the trash can were surely in Rochelle’s future.” That speaks to my heart, as those have often been my only two options. Oh, and bleak. Bleak was usually the third and predominant option… 😉
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Um, I failed to notice the pseudo flesh colored protuberance from the back of “Rochelle”. What the hell is THAT? A tail? A bit of plastic spine protruding through the faux silk? It’s too slender to be part of her leg…… I think I may have overlooked a whole alley of possibility, but I’ve already flung my ‘freak’ flag. Don’t need to add more. 😐 (your sister is surprisingly liberal for Broken Arrow IMHO.) Who lets their children play with “Satan’s” toys? We all ‘know’ that all good parents only allow strictly Creationist dollies for their little girls. With no obsequious genitalia to engender imagination and sinful sexual play betwixt Rochells and Kens or Barbies and Rochelles or Ken and G.I. Joe. Que horrible!!! Dolls with tails are strictly forbidden. :O 😛
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Well, Rochelle is a “Monster High” doll, so one has to assume, with such a moniker, that all is not as it should be with her protuberances. (I suppose I would know more if I bothered to investigate the product line, but who has time for that?)
As for my sister, Rochelle is not owned by one of her offspring, but she IS somewhat liberal for Oklahoma. But she does have her moments when the societal pressures of The Land of the Red Man pull her into the conservative madness. And at those moments, I just want to holler, “Run, Forrest Dawn, Run!” But then she gives me another beer and I settle down…
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We have to love our siblings. Despite their contrary to sensibility attitudes at times..
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Dominatrix Dolly devised a dance designed to drive all dangerous dogmatists daft.
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Savvy alliteration! Be still, my heart… 😉
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Oh this is awesome! I must ponder it for awhile so i can come up with a worthy story, then i’ll be back! Oh the possibilities! 😀
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I look forward to what I’m sure will be a dazzling contribution…
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No! I’ve fallen, and i can’t get up! And my poor sore snatch! It’ll never be the same! They say use it or lose it, but i’ve lost it and probably can never use it again.
This will teach me not to drink too much gin before i dance and strip. Maybe. Or it might not teach me anything. I’m not a fast learner. At one time i was double jointed so i assumed i didn’t need a college degree. Who needs literature or chemistry when one has a bod like mine and can bend any which way when properly lubricated? Biology. That’s my science. I digress…
Anyway, could someone help me up? I twirled one time too many and strayed too far from that convenient pole over there. I can’t use it for support. Please?! And bring me a couple more martinis.. for medicinal purposes. I tip well, though i’m usually the one who gets the tips.
Anyone! I’m down here!…
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And dazzle me you did. Lots of lovely phrases, but I’ll have to go with this one as my favorite: “At one time I was double jointed so I assumed I didn’t need a college degree.” That was once my OWN credo, back in my salad days when I could assume any position that my suitors might inquire about. Then I got old and the suitors stopped inquiring… 😉
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Same here with the suitors. My body just can’t do what it used to, though i was never double jointed. 🙂
And thank you! I’m happy you enjoyed my entry. Love the photo. It made my brain work. (my mind isn’t what it used to be either.)
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Stick girl is so weird that she’s created a mental scar. She looks like a companion for S. King’s It clown. Not that I read that one. Too scary for me. So I gave the book to my son. (Insert hand slap for Bad Mom.)
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I must agree that Stick Girl is a bit off-putting. What are we teaching our children with things like that? On the flip side, as a wee bairn, if I knew that my parents would be mortified by a toy that I wanted, I wanted it even more. Life rolls on.
Oh, and on the OTHER flip side, I’ve read S. King’s “It” a couple of times. And it does go to dark places, but really now, is that a surprise to anyone? Yet there is a current outcry from the conservative right (probably based on the recent “remake” of the movie, therefore making it timely) wherein they are mortified by the hints of child abuse and underage sex. I am not making light of those topics, by any means, but come on, that’s not what the book is about. This “outcry” is just another example of conservatives finding something to demonize and then running with it, because that’s all they know how to do…
Me culpa. The Norma Rae in me breached the surface for a second there… 😉
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Keep right on talking. I’m a firm believer in MLK’s opinion that not speaking out against an outrage is how evil persists.
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Next time you should use a Bratz….. when you change their shoes the whole foot comes out with the shoes so basically they change feet not shoes😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Oh my. That sound terribly exciting. I may have to track down one of those just to experiment… 😉
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I’ll check my attic ,I might still have some and a few if spare feet/shoes😎😂😂😂😂
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In the hallowed words of Who Da Funk, “Drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, bad ass Vegas hoes, late-night booty calls, shiny disco balls.”
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Sorry about that very last bit in your comment. I didn’t realize I was showing in these shorts…
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…reminds me of The Office episode where Andy does a dance floor move that ends in a full split – and lands his tender bits directly onto his car keys. I was laughing so hard I fell on the floor.
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Holy cow, you dug in the archives for this one! (Nothing wrong with that, of course. I do it all the time.)
I must confess that I have never watched “The Office”, neither the British nor American version. I realize that results in me getting cultural demerits, but I shall strive to overcome.
Good to hear from you!
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Deficit easily remedied! Go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxIGlhsAFKM
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