Mirror: “Wow, that’s never happened to me before.”
Jennifer Aniston’s Grandmother: “Are you talking about the crack?”
Mirror: “Well, if you mean the break in my glass and not the recreational activity happening in the other room, then yes.”
JAG: “Hmm. I’m sure it’s not your fault. Mirrors just seem to behave inappropriately when I get near them.”
Mirror: “If you don’t mind my sharing, I believe I might know the root cause for this situation.”
JAG: “Please proceed. The internet hasn’t been invented yet and I have plenty of time on my hands.”
Mirror: “It’s that bun you’ve got going on. It’s huge and intimidating, enough so that it can cause anxiety and stress, leading to fractures in otherwise inanimate objects. And how on earth were you able to create such a follicular monstrosity?”
JAG: “Yeah, that. Well, I feel that we’ve become close in our time together, so I think we can share things I normally wouldn’t share with wall decorations that I’ve just met. There’s more involved here than just hair.”
Mirror: “Really? What else do you have up in there?”
JAG: “The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.”
Previously published in “Crusty Pie” and “Bonnywood Manor”. No changes made for this post.
Trivia Rabbit-Hole: So, I googled Gordon Lightfoot, who wrote and originally sang “The Wreck of the Edmund Fiztgerald” (there have been remakes since; who knew?) just to see if he was still alive. (Hey, when you get to be my age, you have to check up on folks that are even older than you.) He’s 80 and still singing away, with a new album apparently in the works.
Google, in its sometimes-intrusive way, also presented me with a photo array of other “Canadian Singers”. One of them caught my eye. It’s obviously an older photo, which turned out to be a cover shot for her debut album in 1968. I honestly did not know who this was until I read the caption.
Do you?
Cheers.
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
A wild guess—Anne Murray?
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Of course I know her. Then, you are treading on my adolescence here – I was in my late teens when Lightfoot hit the charts with Edmund Fitzgerald – and Leggypeggy above gets the win.
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Peggy: Not so wild, as you hit the mark. Not that I’m surprised, as you are overflowing with wisdom and insight. (Do I get brownie points for this comment? Hope so.)
Maggie: I’m treading on my own adolescence as well. Gordon’s voice hit all the right triggers in my young-gayling mind, and I often imagined torrid things happening between us. Of course, I was shamefully wrong with my envisioning, but isn’t that what adolescence is all about?
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It really was a lucky guess.
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I did not know who the woman was, although I knew Anne Murray was Canadian. My hat is off to Leggypeggy too! Woot. Now as to the picture deftly hoisted by your fine self .
Granny Aniston: How rude!!
Mirror: Well you caused it.
Granny: How’s that? I’m a great vast beauty with flawless skin and enviable bone structure. I’d say it’s YOUR fault actually. I mean everyone knows things made in “Asia” (no naming of actual countries, as I realize yours is an equal opportunity blog and non-profile based) are cheap and shoddy. The craftsmanship **discreet giggle** oh my. What craftsmanship?
Mirror: Now you’re being rude. You hag!
Granny: No need to get personal. Reference my previous remark. Nobody can tell I’m roughly 1,000 years old. They won’t be able to tell about my famous progeny either.
Mirror: Maybe I should hang around *snicker* until she shows up. It couldn’t be worse. Say! Is that a broken ship on your head or just a humongous sticky bun?
Granny: I’m getting out the drape. You’re going into the ‘mirror protection program”, also known as the attic. Where you’ll moulder until you might come back in fashion. Maybe. Maybe you’ll end up getting tossed out as trash. Your mouth after all….
Mirror: I’m lodging a complaint with Mirrors Union #101. My lawyers will be in touch…damages included.
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In an oddly weird way, you have perfectly encapsulated all of my family dynamics between the ages of 1 and 18. It’s almost as if you were there. And, possibly, you were. After all, my family spent many years lying about the true aspects of the stork-visitation that led to my arrival in the backwaters of Oklahoma, so anything is possible. We’ve discussed this before, and one day I will get to the bottom of it… 😉
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Do keep me informed. If there were odd stork hi-jinks, it’s probably due to a really randy Mormon in my own ‘tree’ who went too far afield. Maybe literally. Still. I’d love to know we are related, even though you’ll always be my brother from another mother. ❤
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I admit i had no idea the woman in the pic is Ann Murray. She resembles Petula Clark in that photo.
And i’ve no other theory than yours as to why the mirror cracked. Agatha Christie’s ghost knows though. I’m sure. I would think that a bun that size would have caused neck pain and headaches. Realease some of that hair JAG, and get a sizable trim.
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You speak of great truth, here. If only more people would get a sizable trim when they needed one, we could probably end all global conflicts overnight. I think I might need to compose an allegorical song about this situation. Stay tuned… 😉
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Leggypeggy is right. That is Anne Murray. The fact that I know that is mildly disturbing since she was a favourite of my mother’s, and that makes me feel, well, really old. Yikes.
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I hear your concerns completely. But we are NOT old. We have just reached the age wherein we no longer sweat the small stuff. Or at least we try to do so… 😉
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Googled Anne Murray and I’m none the wiser 😦 . Feel so left out. But Gordon ‘If you Could Read My Mind’ Lightfoot I know! Only really because I love that song, should educate myself and listen to some more. 🙂
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Oh, no need to worry about the Anne Murray disconnect. She did release some very fine songs, but there are SO many singers out there that we can’t possibly be familiar with them all…
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