Humor

Almost Wordless Wednesday – #7

Here’s another chance for you, dear reader, to hop in the pilot seat and drive the story.

This week’s selection is yet another snap from our Spain travels, although in this instance we have crossed the border into Gibraltar. (You know, that place where The Rock Of is.)

I was traipsing around, hoping to get some modestly-decent photos whilst keeping one eye on all the various points at which one could easily tumble from the top of The Rock to the bottom. They don’t have lot of restricted areas and warning signs up here, both because it would impede the view (which is stunning in all directions) and they expect people to behave in a decent manner.

I find this a refreshing European viewpoint when it comes to personal safety. They tell you once to mind your surroundings and then they leave you to your own devices. If you choose to do something stupid and life-risking, and your crumpled body ends up 500 feet below on the sands of Bangers and Mash Beach, with swim-suited Norwegian children poking at you with a stick, well, that’s your own dumb-ass fault.

In America, when one visits places like this, they are filled with apocalyptic warning signs that screw up every photo you try to take, and there are barricades everywhere, blocking access to all the good vantage points where you would want to take said photos. If you dare to wander off the Carefully Delineated Pathway of Least Possible Lawsuits, storm troopers race out, whisk you away, and deport you to Mexico, even though you were born in the States. (And good luck getting back into the country if that happens, at least until Trump gets defeated in the next election.)

I digress.

Back to the monkey on the mountain. (He’s actually a Barbary macaque. And he might be a she. It’s not like I walked up to him/her, pulled on a rubber glove, and checked out the plumbing. Because I’m not a dumb-ass.)

He seems deep in thought.

He seems to be studying something that he has spotted.

And his perch is very high up (his satellite TV reception is five full bars!), so he can see lots of things that are going on in the world. Happy things, sad things, irritating things, whimsical things. Things that might be happening in your own country or province or hamlet or home. He’s very smart, this guy. Monkeys are. (Excuse me, Barbary macaques.) After all, he and his kind have managed to live on this rock for hundreds of years, with very few of them ending up on the bad end of a Norwegian pokey stick.

What, dear reader, is he thinking?

What would you ask him if you could?

Okay, then. I think that’s enough fodder to get your mind clicking, hmm?

Cheers.

 

22 replies »

  1. Monkey muses; ‘What’s my troop/peer group going to say to me? I lost my typewriter over the edge, it barely missed that blonde kids head, That’s ‘Romeo And Juliet’ and Act One of ‘The Tempest’ gone with the wind. It’s gonna take me years to retype that old load of sh- Shakespeare. I feel so mad I might have to resort to flinging some faeces,’

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ah, dear sir, you deserve an award of some kind for referencing the “monkeys and Shakespeare” quote. As for the plummeting typewriter, well, there are worse things that can happen to blonde tourists. After all, if you’re a tourist in Gibraltar, where everything is extremely expensive, then you’ve got some extra cash on hand to pay for physical therapy.

      But the flinging? No, we don’t have time for that. Unless you’re at the Republican National Convention, where that’s all they ever do…

      Like

  2. Monkey mind goes wild when she see the program call “human in there natural enviorment”. She said that,”boy oh boy humans are busy, they just work and work. Just chill guys, you have all the resource. If I were you I just have my own farm and feed my own family. Tend the garden, harvest, keep the rest in the mill and then relax.”
    Hope the life it’s just that simple…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah.. breathe in.. breathe out..

    This afternoon meditation session is wonderful in spite of all the noise happening around me. Today’s chant is, deep blue sea.. deep blue sea.. in.. out. One more time. There..

    These humans, they’ve no idea how to productively spend their time. This view, the sunshine, all the history to soak in. And they’re on their phones! Look UP, people! Look UP! I appreciate that you want photos, but come on! This view! You don’t get to see it every day like i do. You should be savoring it. Check facebook later! Post me on instagran when you get back to your respective hotels.

    I worry about you all. I really do. I overhear complaints about your presidents. I’m concerned about your friends being able to find well enough paying jobs to pay their bills. You all get to come here and see me though. How fortunate for you. I don’t have worries like you. I get to soak in this vitamin D and take in this view every single day of my life. Though i admit that sometimes, okay a lot, i contemplate ways to steal your snacks. It depends on what they are. I have discerning tastes. Sometimes. Sometimes i just want to steal your stuff.

    And most of the time i like that you respect my space, well, in that rather aggressive human way of yours. Some of you get so close i fear you’ll drop over the edge. It’s like you’re not educated enough to read the signs.

    Anyway, after my sort of peaceful meditation session, (i’m still waiting for those noise cancelling headphones to arrive from Amazon,) i’m feeling rather charitable toward you. I’ll ask nicely for snacks instead of moving in quickly to swipe.

    I wish you all well on the rest of your trip. And remember, there’s a whole world out there waiting to be explored. Enjoy the internet. It has lots to offer, but don’t let it take over your life. Remember to enjoy your view!

    Liked by 2 people

    • This is perfect and, at least for me, encapsulates exactly what I was trying to capture with the photo. Many humans spend so much time rushing about and updating social media and running out of energy and never quite realizing that sometimes you just need to sit your ass down and enjoy the moment, the time and the space. We are so FRENZIED, and we’ve got to let go of that or we will never be fully happy….

      Like

    • In other words, you’re talking about most of the Trump Administration. Anyone who has dared to show an ounce of concern for his outrageous behavior has been booted. I may be wrong, but I think only three of his myriad original appointees have survived, and two of them are Ivanka and Jared…

      Liked by 1 person

      • There are now more vacancies in canned Trump appointee-positions than there are holes in his tweet ‘positions’ (OK, that’s impossible). If not for ‘interim’ appointees, Trump would be practically a one-man government (did I say “practically”?).

        Liked by 1 person

  4. “Sorry to interrupt your zen-like pose to reach nirvana, but I was wondering if you know all the secrets of the universe?”

    “Why yes I do,” replied the Barbary Macaque.

    “What are they?” I ask, barely able to contain my thirst for more Jeopardy knowledge.

    “You should always eat with your hands and throw your poo at strangers wearing crocs.”

    “But, I do that now.”

    “I can see my work is done here. I have nothing further to teach you,” answered the Barbary Macaque, as he disappeared into the night.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marietta smiled winsomely, satisfied that she had learned the right things at the right time, for the most part and, having passed the Yoda Barbary test, she felt rather exalted. Then she tripped over an empty beer can which had been tossed aside by a morally-deprived Republican, and Marietta tumbled down the mountainside, ricocheting off several rocky protuberances. Once the philosophical pinball machine released her, she smacked into the sand of Bangers and Mash Beach. The swim-suited Norwegian children snatched up their pointy sticks and raced to poke her.

      “Why?” Marietta asked the sky.

      The sky did not answer.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Damn! I shouldn’t have eaten all those figs! My stomach aches so much, I have to just sit here and wait it out. But hahaha!! The bowel movement that’s coming is going to be a good one though! When those tall, creepy, staring monkeys get here tomorrow, it’ll be pow, right in the kisser! I can’t wait!
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nothing good ever comes from fig-overindulgence. Or bowel movements. Or creepy staring.

      On the plus side, the view was still fantastic, despite the gastronomical rumblings that filled the air…

      Like

    • Then Sheila remembered that men have no concept of decent hygiene, so there really wasn’t much she could do to change the equation. She put aside her reflections and returned to her cave-apartment, where she clicked on the TV and began to peruse yet another Hallmark movie wherein the men prove worthy in the end, despite the smelliness and general narcissism. And, thusly, the dream remained alive…

      Liked by 1 person

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