Humor

Almost Wordless Wednesday – #9

Dear Person Looking at Me,

I need your help. I don’t remember what I did to end up in this situation. But somebody told me you could write a little story in the comments about how I got here. It would sure be swell if you could. Because I have a feeling I’ll have a lot of explaining to do when I get home tonight…

 

In great shame,

Pablo de Pato

Cómpeta, Spain

P.S. Did you happen to pay the tab at this place? Because I sure didn’t…

 

23 replies »

  1. I’m not really sure what I stumbled upon here, but I hope it means you were out enjoying yourself tonight.

    I definitely have no stories and no answers… just a lot of questions. Sorry! haha

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, it’s perfectly understandable if you’re not sure what might be going on. This is my regular “Wordless Wednesday” bit where I post an odd photo and ask folks to whip up a background story. I was just getting a little bored with my usual “it’s time once again to create something whimsical in the comments” so I thought I’d try out this new approach. We’ll see how it goes… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, I am not sure what occurred before 10:15, because that is when I met you at the Cosplay karaoke bar. You were dressed as Mr. Rogers and singing a hardcore metal cover of “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood”. I was.rather impressed, and bought you a few rounds of whiskey. You requested pickled egg brine chasers, odd but effective. We made a pact to ride out the night together. You insisted we roll in style, flipped open your ancient artifact of a phone and called a ride. After a few stale pretzels and a pitcher of beer, you received a text that our chariot awaited! You helped me to my feet and walked slowly at my side as I waddled toward the door in my far too tight mermaid style Elvira dress. Half way through the drunken crowd I ripped a slot half way up my shirt and declared the pace quickened. When we stepped outside I could not believe my eyes! The Oscar Meyer wiener mobile!! and behind the wheel was TuPac! I stared a moment, mouth gaping and then said under my breath “Sonofabitch I knew it”. You are a man with real connections. As you helped me up into the cab, you promised our destination was not a sausage fest. It was midnight when we left the bar, and we drove through the city start a squirting ketchup and mustard at the drivers in the right lane through the passenger window. We arrived at a large gated estate. There was a Bateman awaiting arrivals, clad in the finest coat and tails. He asked for a password. TuPac replies “peanut Butter and banana sandwich” while looking straight ahead. The Bateman looked long at his profile, then shook his head as if to shake off a thought while whispering “no way that’s him”. We drove up a long driveway lined with cypress trees to a Tuscan style villa, with a large fountain out front. There were servants wearing the same penguin suit as the gateman. They were filling champagne glasses with a strange glowing substance from the fountain, and handing them out to guests. The three of us received our refreshments and went inside. We were directed by yet another penguin to a waiting area and told to enjoy our cocktail and that we would shortly be joined by our host to be escorted to the gathering area. There was a custom upholstered bench wrapping one side of the room. On one end of the bench sat Weird Al Yankovich, and toward the middle was Quinton Terintino. We took a seat at the far end to wait. I glanced at the clock, it was 12:30 by then. I took a single drink from my glass, and I am afraid that is all I remember. Somehow I woke up in my front porch swing, still in my ripped Elvira gown, who missing, and covered in confetti and glitter. I assume we had a blast, and hopefully another witness from the gathering can fill in the blanks for you.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Three things…

      One, this is incredibly fantastic and, despite the possibility of offending the other contributors to this week’s prompt, you completely win and rule the universe.Wear your crown proudly, but don’t forget the little people who got you to the coronation.

      Two, your imagination is perfect for Bonnywood Manor. I do hope you will visit us often and possibly consider booking a permanent suite in one of the many guest cottages dotting the landscape of our artistic enclave. As a further enticement, free cocktails are always served in the various libation stations strategically placed throughout the property. You will never be parched.

      Three, I once had a surprise encounter with an actual Wiener Mobile. This memory-trigger will most likely result in another rambling post in the near future, so you get bonus points for that as well. Good show!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I saw it all! it was horrible! You were kidnapped by a roving troupe of elves who needed you to buy them beer. And then out of a perverse sense of responsibility you had to stick around to take them back to where you first met them. (drunken elves are no laughing matter) You also promised to allow them to kidnap you Thursday next. It is the right thing to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have gobbled the nectar from your font of story-telling goodness, and I deem it fine, indeed. Esmeralda, though? She has different thoughts on the matter, and she is far from happy. I smell a sequel. Squeak! 😉

      Like

  4. Oh dear… I can’t get past the fact that when I first clicked on your post and saw the very top portion of the picture — truly, this is embarrassing to admit — I thought it was a butternut squash. In my defense, no lie, I am at this moment roasting a butternut squash for dinner. I am certain this has something to do with my confusion, though I have no proof.
    I have no story to share, but that of a wrongfully labeled squash. I have failed you.
    What I can say is that in my fridge is Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale, which will accompany dinner. Does these appease you? I fear it will not.
    Alas, I will never live this down…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I must admit to being mildly disheartened with your comment. Butternut squash? I mean, I really try to be supportive, especially since we’ve recently discussed the fact that we might be the same person in alternating time spheres, but this was a challenge.

      On the flip side (okay, maybe not flip, but RELATED side), there is a grocery-store chain in these parts that goes by the name of “Tom Thumb”. In their delis, they proffer a creamy and delicious butternut squash soup which is firmly decadent. I can drink it with a straw and remain joyful for several days running. So I choose to go with THAT image, wherein I am slurping and satiated, and we will no longer dwell on any indiscretions…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, since you have already awarded the “non-award”, there is my get out of jail card!
    Anyways, all I had was: What lies beneath the foam, only ducks can know.
    Obviously this does not answer the question posed by Pablo, but really, if you are a duck and trying to drink something multiple times your own bodysize why would you expect answers?

    Liked by 1 person

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