Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #404

Deep in the Boeing archives, documentary footage exists indicating that perhaps the first engineers at the company did not quite grasp how to put a plane in the air.

Some might argue that they still don’t.

In unrelated news, Miss Esther Whippersnapper of Broken Arrow, Oklahoma won the coveted Miss Flamboyant title during the Rooster Days celebration last weekend. Miss Esther received a perfect score from the judges for her exhilarating dismount during the Greased-Pig stage of the competition. (“I ain’t never seen nothin’ like that,” stated Judge #3, Orville Puckett.)

In the interest of fairness, it should be noted that the Flamboyant runner-up, Miss Agnes Goobersplat of Checotah, Oklahoma, filed a motion that Miss Esther should be disqualified as Miss Esther was not wearing regulation undergarments during the show-stopping dismount. The county judge dismissed the motion.

It should also be noted that Miss Esther is also the county judge.

Perhaps Miss Agnes needs a firmer grasp of how things work in small towns.

 

Signing off,

Boyd R. Whippersnapper

Editor-in-Chief

Broken Arrow Ledger

 

Previously published in “Crusty Pie” and “Bonnywood Manor”. Revised and extended for this post.

 

17 replies »

  1. Boeings delta wing half-a- turbo fan single hand propelled prototype needed work. It was never gonna fly. As for Agnes, she should send a stern letter to the Editor, a certain Mr Boyd Whippers- ah, no never mind, small town nepotism strikes again!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Esther’s maw-maw (her MOTHER, not granny) always tole her to ‘spread her wings”. I suspect the poor woman never envisioned how far Esther would take that idea and run with it. And to do a decent dismount wearing that costume, in high heels and carrying a fully furled hand fan too? Esther deserved the prize. That woman with the pantie fetish was probably jealous because nobody noticed her cootchie was on display too…

    Goobersplat? And I thought Utah had some weird names…. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • And this is what small-town rivalries usually boil down to: Someone who has talent is aggressively besmirched by someone who doesn’t.

      Not everyone gets to win a prize. Such is life. So many people fail to grasp that concept…

      As for the Goobersplat Clan, well they never really recovered from the incident and most of them now reside in a penitentiary. In Utah… 😉

      Like

  3. Love the sign-off. It’s that sort of attention to detail that makes your blog sing.
    That, and the WordPress tech you paid off to have “I Will Always Love You” playing the moment anyone lands in Bonnywood.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so happy that you can hear the singing. No one else in my family ever could, which always made me a bit blue.

      As for the pay-off to the WordPress tech, the song rights cost me a pretty penny. I may have to make alternate living arrangements. Do you still have that spare room?

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ah! The Utah State Penitentiary. Looking for a new home, because in true dim-witted fashion, the developers of Bluffdale (the old home of the prison) built up homes, shops and all sorts of mess AROUND the prison. So now they’ve had to figure out where to transport all the felons. I believe the western desert is the latest target. I wonder if those flood drains that another dim-wit paid millions for, back in the early 80s, will be utilized in the very slim chance that Utah floods – again. Yeah.

      Liked by 1 person

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