New Note: Google+ is now essentially defunct, becoming yet another desiccated body on the internet highway. But as a companion piece to my recent “Confessions of a Social Media Dork” post, I thought I’d share this little nugget from back in the day, as the thought process can apply to most social media platforms…
Original Note: So, Google + has these nifty things called “circles”, where you can clump your connections together in categories, thus allowing you to control who sees what. (But your contacts can’t see how you’ve classified them, making it even more fun.) Good idea, but the initial setup can be daunting, and trying to formulate an adequate filing system for your acquaintances can lead to binge-drinking. Since I have a checkered past full of bad decisions and spur-of-the-moment eventual wrongness, I thought I’d help you out with some creative ways of filtering the people who reach out and touch…
1. “Couldn’t Stand Them in High School”
2. “Stupidly Slept with Years Ago”
3. “Great Drinking Buddy, Keeps Mouth Shut”
4. “Still Friends with My Ex-Boyfriends. Careful.”
5. “Doesn’t Know What Year It Is”
6. “Potential for Excessive Bible-Quoting”
7. “Complete Idiot”
8. “Says Films Instead of Movies”
9. “Relatives Who Want Money”
10. “Hot Profile Pic, No Other Connection”
11. “Politically Bitter”
12. “Mute Feed, Knows Too Much About College Days”
13. “Mute Feed, Knows All Childhood Nicknames”
14. “Blows Sunshine Out Own Ass”
15. “Aggressive Emoticon Fetish”
16. “Possibly Has Incriminating Photos, Be Nice”
17. “Unable to Be Quietly Vegan”
18. “Yet Another Cousin from Hazy Branch of Family Tree”
19. “Seen Me Seriously Drunk, Not Offended”
20. “Seen Me Seriously Drunk, Greatly Offended”
21. “Will Post a Picture of Anything”
22. “Links Never Work.”
23. “Deletes Comments That Are Funnier Than His Posts”
24. “Apparently Thinks All Song Lyrics Are About Them Personally”
25. “Knows All About That Livestock Indiscretion”
26. “Smells Like Stalker”
27. “Clicks ‘Like’ Even If Someone Belches”
28. “Fascination with Self Is Mind-Boggling”
29. “Didn’t Like Them on Facebook, Still Not Liking Them on Here”
30. “Too Tired to Figure Out Right Circle”
Previously published in “The Sound and the Fury” and “Bonnywood Manor”. Minor revisions made for this post.
Now, in what will hopefully prove to be a fun and interesting diversion, here’s a friendly, no-offense-intended challenge: In the comments, create the name of the contact folder where I should file YOU. (Many of you will ignore this offer, and that’s fine, no pressure.) Try to be as creative and absurd as possible, as creative absurdity is highly regarded here at Bonnywood. I’m inordinately invested in seeing how some of you will respond to this, so I hope at least one of you does it…
Cheers.
Categories: Humor
Bonnywood Manor 
Horrible grammar and punctuation❗Overly fond of the ellipses… some sarcastic wit🤔 mixed in with unintelligible nonsense 🤦♀️and a lot of emojis.👋🌻 Seems nice.😎
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Hmm. I think I might file myself in that folder. Are we related? 😉
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We may have a common thesaurus, but its probably several generations back. 😉 My cousin… 🤗😂
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Perfect Portuguese Grammar (who cares???) horrible English grammar, unbearably sarcastic, can write long texts without commas just to see people feeling breathless while reading my texts.
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Oh, I like the “no commas” angle, as I do the very same thing, with extremely-long run-on sentences that last for days and cause people to run away from my blog, screaming in terror.. 😉
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Oh, so you know about the photos I have?
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A little birdie gave me all the intel I needed. I shall not name the birdie, but this should not surprise you… 😉
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Very little surprises me.
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Just for research purposes, can I get an intro to all the #25s?
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Well, in order to join said club, you must have the ability to castrate a pig in three seconds flat. Please email me your credentials before we can move forward with this request…
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It IS “films” ! 😆
I’ll add another retrospective category I assume I would be in.
Ahem:
31. Irresistible Poetesses Who Incorrigibly Attempt to Entice Me Despite the Fact That I Am Clearly Partial to Gentleman Parts and Not Lady Parts, As Attractive and Alluring as They May Be.
I’d be cool with category.
💋🔥
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Now that you mention it, your suggested folder might become the biggest one on my laptop. And no, I’m not bragging. Well, mostly not… 😉
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B….lol!
Look at you all cocky with your hoard of adoring lady groupies who can never ever have you yet relentlessly try to charm you…such a super stud.
😉😘
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Number 8. And I’ll write it again if I want to.
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Oh, I wasn’t implying any underlying wickedness about people who say “film”, only that I needed to keep them organized so I wouldn’t incur any untoward wrath. I may have failed in this endeavor, based on the comments… 😉
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LOL!!!
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The reason I’m stuck using it is because of the movie reviews I sometimes do on the blog. Can’t use the word “movie” too many times and have to figure out synonyms. That repetitive word use rule. Sorry if I sounded wrathful. Not at all. Just a poor attempt to be funny.
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So it’s a bad thing if one is #27 and 28? 😐 My own folder pyramid included the following: “Knew Them Slightly “When” And Didn’t Like Them, But Was Unable To Scrape Them Off My Shoes. Finally Had To Resort To Giving Email Addy To Every SpamBot I Encountered. Hope They Died.” Yeah it was a long title but it was appropriate. I actually knew about three people that fit the category too. And isn’t “film” a European thing? No judgment either way.
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None of this is to be taken as derogatory in any way. I simply needed a filing system that would help prepare me for future interactions.
But I’m stealing the name of your pyramid folder, as I know many folks who could easily slip into that category, proving once again that we think alike…
The “film” thing? Well, I must admit that the usage of such a term has often indicated (in my own experiences, mind you) that someone is being a bit pretentious. But maybe that’s just me…
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Um, again with the premature “send” … …”..To Giving THEIR Email Addy…” is the correct phrase.
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Good one … a oid the ‘Circle of Strife
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I aim to please. Sometimes it’s a bad aim, but I try nonetheless…
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Orderly says; ‘Perfectly safe, mostly. Well- mostly- behaved. Mostly, a pleasure to interact with. KEEP MEDICATED.
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I feel that my doctor-client privilege has been violated in some way. Then again, I violate things on a daily basis, so perhaps I should just sit quietly in my cell and wait for the next paper cup of meds…
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Having a rattling good time.
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Appallingly bawdy Canucks. 😉
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Are you confessing something here? I sense that you are…. 😉
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Hahaha. 🙂
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Hahaha. 😉
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Knows my passwords and pilfered from bank account, will answer to wrong name (Cathi), yet still trust them?
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Oh my, there’s a lot of complex psychology in this response. I’d best do a bit of research before I give my final answer. Please hold…
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