Sadie: “I suppose I could do that. How much are you willing to pay me?”
Nigel: “I didn’t say anything about paying you.”
Sadie: “Then I didn’t say anything about doing it.”
Nigel: “But I have leverage on you, my dear. I know what you did with that priest behind us.”
Sadie: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t see any priest. Especially not the one that is looking at us.”
Nigel: “He’s looking at you, because he knows that you just stiffed him on his change. He’s too meek to say anything about it, because that’s how you get when you sit in a little hut all day taking confession, but I have no qualms about reporting you to the manager. Unless you satisfy my simple request, you’ll be thrown into the streets as the wretch that you are.”
Sadie, sighing: “Okay, fine, you win. I’ll bring you some extra ranch dressing for your Cobb salad.”
Nigel: “Splendid.”
Previously published in “Crusty Pie” and “Bonnywood Manor”. Slight changes made for this post. Personal note: I have returned from the hinterlands of Houston, and I hope to catch up with comments and such in a relatively admirable manner…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
Gosh, I have a very naughty mind 😳 lol great story
LikeLiked by 1 person
Trust, we’re on the same page. The naughtiness is there if you choose to see it… 😉
LikeLike
Oh ok … lol btw those multiplex theatres are a conspiracy ssshhheeee… great offerings friend xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow… the lengths one will go for Ranch! He must be one of those ranch dressing drinkers like in the commercials. (Those commercials make me want to never buy their product again, btw)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ranch dressing drinkers? I don’t think I know about this, and I’m fairly certain I don’t WANT to. But I will admit that when I make a fresh batch of buttermilk ranch dressing, I’ve been known to get a bit gluttonous and sample a spoonful of it. But guzzling? That’s a whole different ballgame…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes, a world of difference!!! (I do the same thing…) Hidden Valley Ranch is doing commercials showing people chugging it outta the bottle and with a straw. It makes me sick!!! Someone needs to let them know how bad this marketing idea is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nigel is obviously a philistine. Everyone knows that blue cheese is the dressing for a Cobb salad🙄
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know this. I know this. But we have to respect Nigel’s personal choices, even if they are wrong…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why would anyone eat a salad full of cobs? Badly constipated and need fibre? Really hungry, like the first person to try a lobster? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
It may be mystifying, but we really shouldn’t judge what others might choose to put in their mouths, lest we all be found guilty of malfeasance…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha haha. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, Nigel, you realize you will be getting a little extra ranch salad with a decent dollop of Ex-lax? Never mind, he’ll have plenty of time to sit and ruminate on his faux pas.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Let’s just hope that the sitting and ruminating doesn’t happen in the priest’s little hut. The angels on high won’t be singing if THAT takes place…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Obbverse is right! I reckon the ranch will have been doctored.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting how the two of you quickly went THERE. I’ll have to be careful the next time either of you proffer me condiments…
LikeLiked by 1 person
The condiments will be fine as long as you haven’t behaved like Nigel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love it!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
And that makes me happy… 😉
LikeLike
Bwaahahahahhahah!!!! But ranch on Cobb? Uh, yikes. I THOUGHT (and perhaps I’m getting my salads confused) that something more flavorful might be better…… yep. It’s Caesar and his dressing that I was channeling. The mere mention of raw veggies has tended to upset things inwardly in my realm of existence. It’s been so since Christmas and that whole celery craving incident…um excuse me. I fear a sullying of all breathable air is imminent and I prefer to do that in privacy and not pollute others’ spheres…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, that’s an interesting take, with the Caesar dressing angle, especially since several folks have already commented that the ideal drizzle should be bleu cheese. (And I agree with that.) But Caesar? I never thought about it but that might be an avenue to explore. In fact, that’s what I’m going to have on my next Cobb salad, assuming that I even remember this conversation two seconds from now.
I hear you on the roughage dissatisfaction. I love me some fresh vegetables but, these days, merely walking through the produce section at the local market can lead to radioactive fallout…
LikeLike
Bleu cheese would finally put realism in your writing,Brian. Everybody knows, bee-otches like bleu. 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Good point, Ilene. But would Bonnywood be the same if I injected realism with any regularity? 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s a maddening reality when we can watch something in real time that looks like an overcooked rutabaga being forced to iterate some versioning of reality for us. Normally when the emperor has no clothes we all want to take a look-see, but that’s disgusting, and I only imagine looks like wrinkly taupe support hose filled with large curd cottage cheese.
Ewwww weeee, Eunice! That’s somp-en might-ee fahn!
You’re right, reality is bullshit. Long live ranch dressing.
Oh and thank you my friend for your continued and consistent support 💜
LikeLiked by 2 people
While I am fond of a good bleu, I have to admit I’m in Melanie’s club and only a Caesar will do. Brand of choice: Ken’s Steakhouse. No idea who Ken is, but he makes a mighty fine Caesar. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, now I’m even more intrigued by the Caesar on a Cobb angle, which means that Partner had best prepare himself for dining at a restaurant that serves Cobbs this weekend. (The thought of relatively healthy food strikes fear in his heart, so we don’t often frequent establishments which serve natural roughage, only things that have been fried or drowned in cheese.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Everything has a price and Ranch is priceless ……
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agreed. I have a passionate and sordid relationship with ranch dressing… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person