Granny Mae, walking down the street: “Hey, girl. Watcha doin’ sittin’ on this bench outside Bonnywood Manor?”
Stargazer Lily, perched on said bench, a rather clever one designed by Frank Lloyd Wright during his salad days before he made all that money: “Oh, hey, Granny. I was just waitin’ on the next post from Brian. I wanted to be the first to read it.”
Mae: “Well, you got two things wrong with your dreams, child. One, you never know what’s gonna happen with the Bonnywood posts. Sometimes you get somethin’ fresh, sometimes it’s reheated leftovers. And two, this is Brian’s birthday. Chances are that he’s already drinkin’ some cocktails to ease the pain of stumbling forward yet another year, leavin’ behind decayed body parts hither and yon.”
Lily: “Hmm. Thank you for trying to destroy my happiness, old woman, but I still have my faith that he will celebrate his anniversary with one of his famous birthday lists.”
Mae: “Famous? Honey, you need to get out more. Fame has never touched Bonnywood in any manner. Sure, he had a brief run when more than five non-relatives clicked “like” on his birthday posts, but those days are gone. And he hasn’t done a new list in years.”
Lily: “But I really liked those lists when he did them. They made me happy. Unlike you. I still go back and read them from time to time.”
Mae: “You read them from time to time because he keeps re-posting them.”
Lily: “But they’re worth reading again. Besides, there are always new people checking into Bonnywood, and they haven’t seen those posts before.”
Mae: “Aw, hell. I sense that you are about to share them once more.”
Lily: “That’s the most insightful thing you’ve said since you invaded my personal space.”
Mae: “You do realize that nobody ever clicks on the links in a blog post, right?”
Lily: “I think you’re just bitter because nobody has been clicking your link for a long time. And yes, the sexual innuendo is fully-intended.”
Mae, sighing: “Is that what we’re doin’ now, pointin’ out the ancient hieroglyphics on my southern chamber? Fine. Lucky for you, I stopped givin’ a damn a long time ago. Go ahead and share those links, if it makes you feel pretty and special.”
Lily:
Mae: “Feel better now?”
Lily: “Actually, I do. You may be right that we won’t get a fresh birthday list this year, but at least I can enjoy what we’ve seen in the past and maybe Brian will get off his ass and do better next year.”
Mae: “Speaking of getting off asses, how ‘bout you get your ass of that bench?”
Lily: “You don’t have any claim to this bench. It’s a Frank Lloyd Wright original.”
Mae: “And he originally made it for me. We had a torrid love affair many decades ago. Well, torrid for me. It was just another Tuesday for him. I didn’t realize until later that his architectural designs included any woman with a pulse. Anyway, I want to take that bench home and put it in my Victory Garden, where I can sit on it and remember the twenty-three minutes when I thought he was the love of my life.”
Lily: “Victory Garden? Nobody has had one of those things in over 70 years.”
Mae: “Which is roughly the last time that Brian unleashed an original birthday post.”
Cheers.
Categories: My Life
Happy birthday Brian. 🌺
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Thanks, Sadje!
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You’re welcome 😉
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Happy birthday. Don’t think of it as another step towards decrepitude, think of it as embracing the future. A line inspired by 52 lines from 48 songs for your special day- ‘Goddamn right it’s a beautiful day!’
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So you clicked on the links, eh? Good show. And I heartily approve of your lyric inspiration…
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Hey Brian, happy birthday. 🎂 I hope you have a very good day. 🙂
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Thanks, Lynette. And it was a great day…
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Oh wow, Happy Birthday. I’m putting this in my diary.
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Uh oh. I mean, that’s really sweet of you… 😉
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Happy, Happy Birthday Brian!
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Thank you, dear. Good to hear from you…
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Happy birthday, Brian! I’ve been away for a while. So glad to know you’re still the same.😊
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Thank you, and I’m glad you’r back! And I’m still jealous of your world tour… 😉
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It’s good to be back. I get that, I still get jealous whenever I see some friends travel to beautiful places.😅
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Happy Birthday! You’ve made another one, hurrayyy
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They seem to be ticking by faster and faster… 😉
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Mrs Bryntin is five years older than I am. Every birthday I ask her if this is the one I can say ‘congratulations’ for having reached it rather than just happy birthday. She always gives me a playful but quite hard slap.
Anyway, congratulations Brian.
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Thank you, sir. And it’s nice that you and the Missus are still engaging in a mildly-twisted form of sexual role-playing. Oh wait, maybe that’s not what you meant… 😉
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Happy birthday Brian❤️
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Thank you!
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Happiest of happy birthdays, my friend!
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Thank you. It was a swell day, and there was even an odd event that I could probably squeeze at least two fresh posts out of, so I got the bonus plan… 😉
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I love those days—cherry on the top😊
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♪♫♪ Hippo birdie to you
Hippo birdie to you
Hippo birdie, dear Brian
Hippo birdie to YOU! ♪♫♪
Many many happy returns dear brother by another mother! Take heart. Your posts are still witty fresh and Bonnywood “the” destination of the stars. We come for the humongous cocktails, we stay because of the heart. ❤
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Thank you, sister from another mister. I’m afraid that my posts might be the only thing about me these days. But your singing voice is quite lovely. I don’t know why your first album didn’t do so well on the charts. Perhaps we should have chosen another album title besides “You Annoy the Hell out of Me and This Is Why”…. 😉
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My thanks to Lily! Every moment spent at Bonnywood feels more like home😍
Congratulations on surviving another year🍾🥂🎂🎉🎆🌟🌈
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Aww. The bit about “Bonnywood feels more like home” just put a special zing in my heart. A nice cherry on top of a really great day…
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I thought when you reached this birthday you quit mentioning them. Hope the day is a fun one for you.
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I really would like to forget my birthdays. But then my AARP card falls out of my wallet, and the fact that you can barely read it anymore says a lot… 😉
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Happy belated birthday x
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Thank you muchly, Genevieve!
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Hope it was a good “My Mother gave birth to a genius” anniversary 😉
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Thanks, Claudette. I am absolutely stealing that line, although my mother would like to offer a rebuttal on the matter… 😉
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Dammit, I’m late to the party again! It’s all on account of the dry cleaners being closed and the owner wouldn’t help me until she she finished her third cigarette.
Hope you had a swell day, friend. 🎂
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Those chain-smoking dry-cleaner ladies have too much power, and we really need to work on that. (And it WAS a swell day, thank you muchly.)
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