My Life

A Star Is Not Born: Video Snippets from the Archive of Degradation and Shame

Me Carousel Bar 2014 2

Note: This is an older bit of “performance art”, so the references to my blogs are a bit dated. Please excuse.


In one of those moments when you forget all about something until you run across it again, I recently found this work-in-progress video blog from several years ago. I was apparently in the midst of editing it when something shiny caught my attention and I never opened the file again. (This is a hallmark of my work here at Bonnywood Manor. I always have a collection of half-ass stories littering the innards of my laptop, forlorn and forgotten until I buy a new laptop and I have to move all this crap over to the fresh graveyard.)

I initially started to just delete the video. (After all, I’m one of those people who is not invested in looking at pictures of themselves, never mind a clip that presents me in all my cinematic gory.) Still, the video does capture my personality, to an extent, so I suppose there might be someone out there who would find this of interest, either from a “getting to know the author” perspective or at least a “now I have a subject for my next psychology paper!” angle.

I decided not to tinker with the video, leaving it in a rough-cut version so you can marvel at the multiple times when I completely lose my train of thought and things creak to a standstill. (And if you happen to have previously seen the only other video blog I have released, you can make note that I apparently haven’t changed my hairstyle or my decorating theme in at least 74 years. Those French placards on the wall behind me need some serious alignment and a good dusting.) In any case, take a gander, and learn for yourself why I will never win an Academy Award for Acting, Directing or Artistic Design, so I’d best stick to writing if I ever want a little man in my house named Oscar…



Bonus plan: In these 4 tiny little clips, nothing earth-shattering or even relevant is revealed, but it’s fun to watch me grow increasingly frustrated at my inability to get through the first few lines without hitting the fail-blog, especially the last clipette where I manage to launch but then I smack into the wall anyway…




Previously published in “Bonnywood Manor”. Slight changes made for this post, although I didn’t mess with the actual videos. (The misdeed is done.) The last time I shared this, a few folks made comments that I was being brave for doing so. There’s no real bravery about it. It’s just me, being me. With cue cards…

Trivia Note: As I’m typing this new footer, I am actually wearing the same t-shirt as the one I’m wearing in the videos. (I’m the kind of person who has favorite Ts that I wear until they fall off of me or family members stage an intervention.) I didn’t plan this, it just happened. Which is how most of my life has transpired…

Story behind the photo: I’m in the Carousel Bar of the Hotel Monteleone in New Orleans. I’m sitting with Partner and the ladies of Aten-Shearwood Manor in England, our constant and beloved traveling companions. The hotel has a fascinating history, and many writers have stayed there over the years, working on books that you’ve probably read. Suffice it to say that I was in my element, surrounded by loved ones, and working my way through a second “Vieux Carre”, a potent signature cocktail at the hotel. This is me being happy, without cue cards…


34 replies »

  1. It’s always fun to see the man behind the curtain or to watch a video from a favorite blogger. I love the “snafu” faces, #4 being my favorite.

    In the end, this line
    “This is me being happy, without cue cards…”
    is the way to live every single day!😍💃🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If you ever need a back-up gig, Brian, you’ve got a great voice-over voice. I understand the guy who made his living saying, “In a world where….” has shuffled off this mortal coil, so there may be a lucrative vacancy. Fortunately, the scripts are usually quite short….

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Donna. That voice has definitely resulted in me getting opportunities that I might not have had otherwise. It’s also gotten me into a few situations where folks had expectations that they really shouldn’t have had. You live, you learn, you modulate the voice when necessary.

      I’ll be sending in my resume to replace the shuffler, but I’m not really sure if I would know what to do with a short script… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Gorgeous voice! So deep and *sigh* Yep. You were brave to post those vid clips. It’s something I could NEVER do, because I don’t like photos, let alone being filmed. I was in a play once, because I greatly admire acting and thought “how hard could it be?” Aside from the stunning stage fright, I am wooden. There’s no emotion in my acting. So there’s that as well as to why I won’t do what you did and expose myself via a camera. Good on ya for giving it a go. Now back to the writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve been in several plays as well, and whilst I really enjoyed the experiences, there were a few conflicts. Turns out that I don’t take direction very well, insisting on doing my own thing. (I suppose this shouldn’t come as a surprise.) And, despite my general disdain for interacting with other people, I tend to put inject far too much drama into my pretend interactions whilst on stage. (Also not a surprise.)

      And yes, back to the writing…

      Liked by 1 person

    • The big issue with me and vlogging is that I’m a super perfectionist, despite my unleashing of this rough-cut video. If I can’t get a perfect take, I’m quickly done and move on. But it IS fun, and maybe I’ll give it another run…

      Liked by 1 person

      • You should! I’m a perfectionist too. I get so mad. But eventually I cave in on some flaws. I also can’t stand how I sound in videos. It’s weird. Apparently what we hear isn’t our voice. I didn’t know this. Lol. Sorry, I’m rambling. But editing is fun the more I learn. And you should totally give it another try. You’re funny!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You have a great voice indeed! But very fast yes. Especially for this heat-struck Australian 🙂 If you ever vlog again, you gotta work on the lighting: you look like a zombie in that screen blue 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

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