Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #346

Paulette Goddard, left: “Hey there, Big Boy. Care for a ride?”

Ray Milland, right: “Where did you find such a tiny thing? I’m not sure I could even fit in there.”

Paulette: “Oh, I’m sure we could find something you could fit in. Care to take me for a spin.”

Ray: “But we’re in the middle of shooting a movie. We could be called to the set at any second.”

Paulette: “I’m so bored with that wretched little movie I could scream. I just had to find something else to do.”

Ray: “So you started by throwing your car in the dryer?”

Paulette: “You silly man. It came this way. Everything about me is a tight fit, if you get my drift.”

Ray: “Oh, I believe it’s more than a drift. You might as well throw your legs wide open and wave about an ‘Open House’ sign.”

Paulette, feigning offense: “How rude! What do you take me for, some common tramp?”

Ray: “I’m not taking you for anything. Which was apparently not in your plans.”

Paulette: “Ohhh, now I get it. You like to drive a stick-shift as well. My apologies. But don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret.”

Ray: “We don’t have a secret. And why is that you assume that I’m light in the pants just because I don’t want to rev your throttle?”

Paulette: “Because I’m very good at what I do and every heavy-pants man I know is dying to overhaul my engine.”

Ray: “Well, that’s just bosh. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps I fancy a woman who doesn’t come on too strong? I prefer a sedate sedan over a rowdy roadster.”

Paulette: “Too strong? Honey, it’s 1946. We just proved in World War Two, whilst all you rods and pistons were either serving in the military or pretending to have bone spurs, that women can do anything that men can do and still manage to raise the kids and milk the cows. I no longer wear a patrimonial seatbelt. Or a chastity belt, for that matter. This is a new dawn. And you men can either hop on the train or stay at the station. It doesn’t matter to me, because there are always other men willing to buy a ticket.”

Ray: “Well, since you put it that way…”

Paulette: “You’ll put it to me?”

Ray: “I didn’t say that. I might need to kick the tires a bit before I make a decision.”

Paulette: “Oh, please. I can see from here that your oil pan is dripping.”

Ray: “Okay, fine. Move over and I’ll drive.”

Paulette: “Are you kidding? I didn’t milk all those cows for nothing. Get your ass in the passenger seat. I know the perfect place where I can spark your plug. There’s a lovely little inn on Highway 10, just east of Fairvale.”

Ray: “Oh? That doesn’t ring a bell. What’s the name of the place?”

Paulette: “The Bates Motel.”


Previously published in “Crusty Pie” and “Bonnywood Manor”. Revised and extended for this post.


18 replies »

  1. I love when a woman takes charge, and if Ray were smarter, he would too. It’s just easier for all involved.
    Now to the heart of the matter: love the coats. I’m in the market for a light yet stylish number for Spring. Since Ray won’t be needing his, might I borrow it?

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.