Paulette Goddard, left: “Hey there, Big Boy. Care for a ride?”
Ray Milland, right: “Where did you find such a tiny thing? I’m not sure I could even fit in there.”
Paulette: “Oh, I’m sure we could find something you could fit in. Care to take me for a spin.”
Ray: “But we’re in the middle of shooting a movie. We could be called to the set at any second.”
Paulette: “I’m so bored with that wretched little movie I could scream. I just had to find something else to do.”
Ray: “So you started by throwing your car in the dryer?”
Paulette: “You silly man. It came this way. Everything about me is a tight fit, if you get my drift.”
Ray: “Oh, I believe it’s more than a drift. You might as well throw your legs wide open and wave about an ‘Open House’ sign.”
Paulette, feigning offense: “How rude! What do you take me for, some common tramp?”
Ray: “I’m not taking you for anything. Which was apparently not in your plans.”
Paulette: “Ohhh, now I get it. You like to drive a stick-shift as well. My apologies. But don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret.”
Ray: “We don’t have a secret. And why is that you assume that I’m light in the pants just because I don’t want to rev your throttle?”
Paulette: “Because I’m very good at what I do and every heavy-pants man I know is dying to overhaul my engine.”
Ray: “Well, that’s just bosh. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps I fancy a woman who doesn’t come on too strong? I prefer a sedate sedan over a rowdy roadster.”
Paulette: “Too strong? Honey, it’s 1946. We just proved in World War Two, whilst all you rods and pistons were either serving in the military or pretending to have bone spurs, that women can do anything that men can do and still manage to raise the kids and milk the cows. I no longer wear a patrimonial seatbelt. Or a chastity belt, for that matter. This is a new dawn. And you men can either hop on the train or stay at the station. It doesn’t matter to me, because there are always other men willing to buy a ticket.”
Ray: “Well, since you put it that way…”
Paulette: “You’ll put it to me?”
Ray: “I didn’t say that. I might need to kick the tires a bit before I make a decision.”
Paulette: “Oh, please. I can see from here that your oil pan is dripping.”
Ray: “Okay, fine. Move over and I’ll drive.”
Paulette: “Are you kidding? I didn’t milk all those cows for nothing. Get your ass in the passenger seat. I know the perfect place where I can spark your plug. There’s a lovely little inn on Highway 10, just east of Fairvale.”
Ray: “Oh? That doesn’t ring a bell. What’s the name of the place?”
Paulette: “The Bates Motel.”
Previously published in “Crusty Pie” and “Bonnywood Manor”. Revised and extended for this post.
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
No room for back seat driving, Ray. But a nice romantic liaison under Mrs Bates beady eye? Stuff that! I’d get out of there sharpish.
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Now, now. Some folks find it rather fetching to have an audience. Different strokes for different folks, you might say…
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Yikes, Bates?!
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Just goes to show, never trust people people who drive tiny cars and wear band majorette outfits…
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You only need to worry if the showers are working. Otherwise, it’s a lovely little inn … 🙂
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They serve the most delicious little canapes during happy hour…
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Mom warned me about girls like that. 🙂
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Mom didn’t have to worry about me doing anything with girls like that. Or any girls… 😉
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Its 2020 and us gals who own our sexuality and aren’t hypocritically playing submissive are STILL facing shamers.
Love the twist at the end!🔪
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RIght? The real shame of modern society lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
By the way, did you ever watch the “Bates Motel” series? Just curious…
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There was a series??? I haven’t really watched anything in 10 years (OMG! 😮) I’m going to have to look into that.
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The series is dark, creepy and twisted, sprinkled with very black humor. So, of course, I loved it. But it’s not for all tastes. I will say this, though: It’s one of those rare series where the final episode is perfect…
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More power to her 🙂
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Exactly. She can drive whatever she wants… 😉
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If the fella in the photo won’t spark her plugs, I’m sure Norman will be more than happy to do so. As long as Mother approves of course…
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Well, Mother really DOES need a new car after Normie drove her old one into the lake, so I’m sure they can work something out…
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I love when a woman takes charge, and if Ray were smarter, he would too. It’s just easier for all involved.
Now to the heart of the matter: love the coats. I’m in the market for a light yet stylish number for Spring. Since Ray won’t be needing his, might I borrow it?
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I spoke with Ray, and while he’s quite happy to bequeath said jacket, he does caution that the wearing of such might attract the wrong sort of attention…
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