As Zelda walked into the Gamma Bamma Slamma sorority house for her interview, she was not at all disturbed by the exuberant smoking, the obvious fact that none of them had a professional stylist, or even the aura of possible lesbianism. She was, however, a bit concerned that no one was using the perfectly available couch to the left, a detail that spoke of a herd mentality that Zelda found rather dreary and uninspiring. She decided not to proceed with the interview, and she turned to make her way to the front door so she could flee and get a fresh, nonconformist breath of fresh air. As her hand reached for the knob, another hand stopped her.
“Please don’t go.”
Zelda’s eyes followed the intrusive hand up to a face. “Who are you and why are you touching my hand in a manner that could be considered foreplay in certain situations?”
Face: “My name is Ingrid Montoya. You thrilled my father. Prepare to fly.”
Zelda snatched her hand back. “That sounds like a misquoted quote from a book that hasn’t yet been written and a movie that hasn’t been filmed. It’s not really polite to get into a meta conversation with someone you’ve just met. I don’t trust you, and I clearly cannot choose the wine before me.”
Ingrid: “Your mind is a secret garden and the walls are very high.”
Zelda: “You just did it again, with the meta thing.”
Ingrid: “And you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. And you just did it yourself, with the wine reference that came out of the blue but seems to make sense.”
Zelda: “You’re right. I don’t know where it’s coming from but it sort of feels good, even though I normally don’t revel in absurdist fantasy because I’m such a cynic.”
Ingrid: “Cynics are simply thwarted romantics.”
Zelda: “Romantic? Is that what this situation is?”
Ingrid: “I’ll tell you the truth and it’s up to you to live with it.”
Zelda: “It seems I made a poor decision about the wine-choosing. I must learn to embrace the moment. And in that spirit, what should we do next, Buttercup?”
Ingrid: “I think we should have fun storming the castle and go tell those twits in the other room that life isn’t fair, but it’s fairer than death, and we should all embrace who we are instead of trying to conform to something we are not.”
Zelda: “As you wish. Let’s go.”
Note: Yes, folks, an entire post full of sometimes-mangled quotes from “The Princess Bride”. If you haven’t seen the movie (a wonderful thing) or read the book (even better), this missive might leave you cold. This is how it must be with the choices we make. After all, when I was your age, television was called books…
Previously published in “Crusty Pie” (mere snippet) and “Bonnywood Manor” (The William Goldman Remix). Slight changes made for this post.
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
I’ve been laughing since ‘Gamma Bamma Slamma’.
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And that’s a lovely course of action to follow… 😉
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Yikes! Some of those gals resemble R.O.U.S.’s😬
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So you remember when TV was called books? Well, when I was your age, Whippersnapper, I too could remember all the good bits from Princess Bride. I could quote Firefly, and even recite entire Monty Python skits in a terrible British accent. Good times…
Alas, those days are over. Now I sometimes can’t remember words and end up calling stuff “thingy” and using emojis instead.
What was I commenting on? Oh yes, your blog thingy. 👏
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KBG: Now, now. Not everyone can be as pretty as we are.
Barb: I have no idea what you’re talking about with this “not remembering things”. I have a wafer-thin memory. Now, who are you and what you doing in my house? 😉
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Books, the play-stations of the past. Another note; Aren’t Romantics simply blind cynics, he said, somewhat cynically?
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Actually, The Romantics were a rock band from Detroit. Blindness might be involved, though, as no one has seen them in a while…
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Oh yeah I remember the Romantics of whom you speak. ‘Talking in Your Sleep’ with them stumbling blindly amongst some scantily clad nymphets, all billowing nylon, blank faces and smoke and dark shadows. Dunno about blindness but I shut my eyes, if not my ears.
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Perfect synopsis and proper reaction.
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Ingrid’s introduction is a stroke of genius. I’ve seen the movie and I loved it.
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Sometimes I have a little bit too much fun for my own good…
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Too much fun is good for writing😊
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Lol Love the mangled Ingrid quote….non-quote…
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I’m a specialist when it comes to mangling things… 😉
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I’m curious now – what was Ingrid’s true quote. BTW joking around the other day I inferred that the Lone Ranger’s horse was actually named Buttercup. Doesn’t that create a picture for the old series?
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Original Ingrid quote: “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” (The character actually says “hello” first, but most folks leave that out when quoting.)
As for the Lone Ranger’s horse, you actually caused me to pause and look it up. I knew it wasn’t Buttercup, but I was drawing a blank otherwise. But yes, the name change would have completely altered the story-line…
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Hi Ho Silver !
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If my tarnished memory still has a gleam of memory I think the Lone Ranger/actor yelled out the hi ho Silver! ’cause he couldn’t whistle.
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I never knew that.
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hahah. Well done! Inconceivable!
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Can you tell I liked the movie just a little bit?… 😉
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Me too . . .
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I recognized Princes Bride from the first reference. And I agree–the book is even better than the movie. I had the good fortune to read the book before the movie was made. But it’s still a great movie. J.
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The book is fantastic, and I think the “modern” story that frames the “older” story is just as compelling, but none of that made it into the movie. I can see why, from a filming standpoint, but still…
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I don’t know why it’s quoting me as anonymous. But you know who I am. J.
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Yes; Peter Falk as the grandfather makes a good replacement framing story, but there’s so much more substance to the original. Oh, well, William Goldman wrote both the book and the movie. I guess he knew what he was doing. J.
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Smiling ear to ear! Good fun here! 🙂
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Thank you kindly! I always get a kick out of twisting things just to the edge of not-right… 😉
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At least they didn’t suck five minutes of someone’s life away… or DID they? I never did admire shifty men with polydactyly….and that giant walnut thingie that the possibly dead hero of “Princess Bride” was expected to swallow (even if it was covered with a thin layer of chocolate), was inconceivable. The Dread Pirate had lots to answer for…..
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See, now you’re reminding me of lots of other trigger points about this movie. I might just have to get my ass on the Internet and find appropriate pics for some sequels to this warped warble…
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Hahaha! Bravo! I loved the book and the movie, too. 🙂
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Of course you did. Because you have excellent taste and a fondness for imagination… 😉
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Gamma Bamma Slamma was gold, pure gold, and then you hit diamond level with sometimes mangled quotes from a perfect movie.
You outdid yourself. But please, remember to get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.
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Mangled quotes might be the very thing that saves me from obscurity. Or they will ensure that’s where I land. Life is a fulcrum.
And your quote has me itching once again to watch the movie, just to gather another basket of words to mangle…
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