Opinion

The Corona Chronology: Day 23

Because we’re all about expanding intellectual horizons here at Bonnywood, I thought I’d share a few terms that have some significance in these pandemic times. Granted, many of these concepts also apply to non-pandemic situations, so feel free to use them in a manner that you find most satisfying. (Legal Disclaimer: Said terms have not been officially approved by any recognized vocabulary-management entities, but they have been given full sanction by the Bonnywood Manor Editorial Board, and that’s good enough for me.)

 

Mysterics  (mis-ter-iks)

These are the folks who run around bilging out ridiculous conspiracy theories that have little or no basis in reality. Most of these blatherings are profoundly inept (although I will give a nod to a few tall tales that are at least creative, despite the lack of any factual evidence) and many of them center on this flawed precept:

The government created the virus to control the people.

Okay, then. But which government? Right now, just about every government in the world is dealing with the mess, and none of them seem real pleased about it. And how is this about control? It’s the most uncontrolled thing that has happened in most of our lives. Granted, the previous sentence is a hallmark of the Trump Administration, but it’s obvious that they tried to completely ignore the pandemic until they had no choice. There is no way they could have masterminded a plot, because plotting requires planning and that is not a hallmark of the administration.

Get a grip, conspiracy theorists. Or at least do some research.

 

Hatriots  (hā-trē-əts)

These are the people who pretend to love the country but they raise holy hell every time they are asked to do something for the common good of all citizens. They don’t want to do anything unless it directly benefits them. (Sound familiar?)

 

Sociocrites  (sō-sē-ə-krits)

And here we have the folks who rail against socialism, but every damn one of them will be cashing that stimulus check the very second it hits their inbox. (Along with their disability checks and Medicare checks and Social Security checks and… well, you get the idea.)

Here’s the deal, peanut gallery. Those checks are prime examples of socialism. In a purely capitalist society, which many claim America to be but it really isn’t, there wouldn’t BE any checks. There wouldn’t be any police or fire departments. There wouldn’t be any programs to assist those below the poverty line. Hell, there wouldn’t be any roads to your house, unless you built them yourself. This country has had some flavor of socialism since the first taxes were collected and used to benefit the public in general. And that happened along about Day One.

Socialism isn’t a dirty word. (Sure, there are some pros and cons about the concept) But some Republicans want you to think it’s evil, because Republicanism (in it’s current Trumpian form) doesn’t work unless they have a focus for their hatriotism.

 

Goobernors  (gü-bər-nərs)

This would be the state governors who have refused to implement statewide stay-at-home directives during the pandemic. (All of them are red governors in red states. Surprised? You shouldn’t be.)

Golden Dick Award in this category: Governor Brian Kemp in Georgia. He belatedly, and clearly begrudgingly, finally ordered folks to shelter on April 2nd, long after most states had done such. While doing so, he made the outrageous claim that “we only found out yesterday that people can be asymptomatic and still spread the virus”. No, we didn’t just find out. We’ve known for months.

Barely two weeks later, Kemp announced that he was lifting restrictions, despite protests from mayors of nearly every major city in his state, and despite the fact that infections and deaths were still rising in his jurisdiction.

Even Trump had to pause on this one. He initially supported Kemp, then withdrew his support almost as quickly. Apparently, somebody in his administration said “you might want to steer clear of this in case it goes south” and if there’s one thing Trump avoids, it’s responsibility.

 

Senawhores  (se-nə-hors)

The Republican senators who continually support everything Trump does that he shouldn’t or doesn’t when he should. Which would be all of them. There used to be a few brave detractors, but Trump’s well-funded revenge machine drove them out of office. (Except for John McCain who, sadly, passed away.) This atmosphere of kissing Trump’s back forty at all costs has emboldened his disregard for proper presidential behavior or decency. These senators have abandoned their duty of representing their respective states in favor of plowing the back forty.

 

Emaskilators  (i-ˈma-skyə-lā-tərs)

The idiots who are still refusing to wear masks in public, even in places that have official decrees that everyone in public should do so. What part of this do you not understand?

 

Hipsturds  (hip-stərds)

The young people (supposedly adults, but you wouldn’t know it from their behavior) who still think they are immune to the virus. You’ve seen many of them in those images of packed beaches in California and Florida, with thousands of glistening and supple bodies close enough for spontaneous procreation.

CNN interview with a clearly-buzzed beachgoer: “Nobody is going to stop me from partying.”

Well, I can think of one thing that might. It starts with a “C”.

 

Crassholes  (kras-hōls)

The aggressively-ignorant folks who are participating in mask-less demonstrations, demanding that mayors and governors re-open the cities and states. Their latest tactic? Berating masked healthcare workers who have shown up as counter-protestors, trying to knock some sense into their dense heads, going so far as to accuse the healthcare workers of being actors. (A false conspiracy being promoted on Fox Anti-News.)

It’s pathetic, the demonstrators in general and their attack on the front-line workers in particular. Because those same healthcare professionals will do their very best to save your life, should it come to that, even if you’re a crasshole.

 

Facetwits  (fās-twits)

Anybody who reposts the blatant lies of the Mysterics, Hatriots, Sociocrites, Goobernors, Senawhores, Emaskilators, Hipsturds and Crassholes. Sure, you have the right to say what you want to say. You are also responsible for what you say, just as you are responsible for what you do, and if what you’re saying and doing leads to preventable deaths, you are also responsible for criminal negligence. Especially if you are in the final category, which only has one certified member.

 

Wrongald Dump  (dän-ōld trəmp)

Do I really need to say any more on this angle?

 

Stay safe, stay sane, do the right thing.

Cheers.

 

34 replies »

  1. Oh Brian, it’s hard to pick a favorite – I love them all, but I’ll go with Senawhores because they are the ones who could have gotten rid of him. months ago. Hm. My conspiracy theory is we are all being punished because they DIDN”T get rid of him.
    That’s just a theory, of course.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Your theory has great merit. No matter what one’s personal thoughts might be concerning higher powers or karma or Mother Nature, things are clearly out of balance and somebody is sending a warning message…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I’ve already moved beyond the Christopher Walken phase with my hair. I could easily replace one of the industrial scrubbers at the local car wash, should it be necessary…

      Like

  2. First. I realize your list was tongue in cheeks and it was funny. Truly. But my comment turned on me and started snapping. Please be aware that the snapping is not at you, dear friend. It’s directed inward, which is perhaps the safest place to direct things now that directing them outward is being outlawed, one step at a time. ❤

    I'm a little teeny wee bit ashamed to admit I'm an Emaskilator (i-ˈma-skyə-lā-tərs). Hello. My name (is withheld for the continued health and safety of me. I expect the torch bearers and pitchfork crowd any old time now because dammit. I'm NOT putting one of those idiotic things on my face. I have a phobia of having things over my face, I hyperventilate and it's ugly for everyone around. Not that anyone is around of course. I live alone and I isolate with a feavor reserved for those mentally unbalanced (testify) and those who hate humans even in 'good' times. Utah has been mostly spared (thus far, I'm sure the C-apocalypse is just over the horizon), my tiny little town hasn't even pinged the radar. I don't go anywhere, I wash my hands ALL THE TIME, and as mentioned putting shtuff on my face makes me very unhappy. Other point to this sort of a ranty comment is that I'm not scared of the damned virus. Bring it on. If I catch it, I sincerely hope it's the very worst kind and it kills me dead. I don't want to live through this nor see the other side. I won't be donning a mask until they force me to (as far as I know Utah hasn't made any decrees about mandatory mask wearing). Everyone around me is wearing theirs (mostly. Apparently I'm not alone in my rebel status of non-mask wearing adherence). When they start making noises about mandatory masks in public, well that's the line where I stay home until they carry me out, feet first. I'd like to go out a little bit, but not at cost.

    The idiots who are still refusing to wear masks in public, even in places that have official decrees that everyone in public should do so. What part of this do you not understand? See above paragraph.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that our Governor has brains, unlike the Hipsturds that blackened the eye of our beautiful state.
    I love all these terms, especially Senawhores, cuz it’s SO accurate! I’m not a mean spirited person, but I wouldn’t cry if a few (or ALL) of them contracted the C word. Nope! Not one tear.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I fully understand about the not crying. I try to be decent, but if you choose to be reckless when it comes to the lives of others, then you’ve already given up any right to be treated decently yourself…

      Like

  4. Super vocabulary you have developed!

    I love that beautiful fractal photo, and am thumping myself in the forehead…
    It’s true, the corona virus is a fractal. I bet Dr. Mandelbrot is watching from heaven
    with a certain knowledge that his formula could have predicted Covid-19

    Liked by 1 person

    • At the risk of sounding cold-hearted, I do find it interesting that many of Trump’s most avid supporters are the very folks who are the core demographic that seems to be the target of this pandemic…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Brian, it was bad enough before the pandemic but Trump has hit new lows. I am getting actually burnt out from all of this stuff, and I feel like the ones who need to listen will never listen. It’s sad, it’s dumb, it’s unbelievable. You must be worn out by it all by now also. – David

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey, David. I’m completely worn out (and frustrated). And you’re right, the folks who need to listen probably won’t until it’s too late. But for me, it’s also important that people who already agree with the words hear them as well, so we can stick together and keep doing what we can…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The ones that get me are the mysterics who pin the blame on Democrats for the economy tanking, saying “they got what they wanted” – as in, making Trump look bad.
    Trump doesn’t need help looking bad. He does fine on his own. But also, how did Democrats force the NBA to shut down, or Disneyland to close? How did they ruin the economies the other countries?
    I know, logic has no effect on mysterics. They are immune to it.
    *sigh*

    Liked by 1 person

    • And this is why the Mysterics are at the top of the list, as the lack of logic is frightening.

      Have you seen some of the signs at the “open up!” protests? They clearly live in another world, but we have to deal with their ignorance in THIS one…

      Liked by 1 person

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