Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #389

Once again, the members of Omega Delta Dawn make the walk of shame back to the sorority house after questionable decisions were made at the nearby fraternity…

Betty, far left: “You’d think I’d learn one of these days that I shouldn’t drink anything a man is offering. They always lie, and there’s always gin. They even put it in Jello now. I never want another dessert for the rest of my life.”

Wilma, near left: “And they lie about what they have in their rooms. I thought I was getting the answers for the chemistry exam. Apparently those answers were on his mattress somewhere but I never found them.”

Pebbles, near right: “At least you had a mattress. I was just trying to tidy up the kitchen and suddenly I was in the spin cycle before I even turned on the dishwasher. Nothing says humiliation like having the imprint of a waffle iron on your forehead.”

Dina, far right: “All of you need to shut the hell up. You might be able to rise above this. But I’m a blonde, so I’m already in the cellar of respectability. And now my panties are whirling on a ceiling fan in the Alpha Mega Testica house. I might as well head back home and marry my cousin.”


Previously published. Slight changes made for this post. And in case you’re wondering, yes, I’ve walked that walk many times. College was a blur of poor choices followed by awkward moments with class members in my writing seminars on Monday…


17 replies »

  1. I’ve had my own shameful moments… As horrible as my memory is now, back then it was perfect. No matter what substance or combination or even amount could dull or erase the perfect recall. I can STILL remember those walks😱…
    Now if I could only remember what day it was, or where I left my coffee cup🙄😂💌

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hear you. I can tell you exactly which parachute pants I was wearing during the bar crawl on Friday, April 27th, 1984. Now? I have to look in the mirror to remember what I’m wearing. And two seconds after I walk away I’ve already forgotten…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I never walked that walk. ‘Course I never went to college – at least not the version portrayed by interpretative dance in the photo and your excellent thoughts and dialogue. First thought I had when I finished reading this was “At least you GOT to college…” I went from High School and Pariah status – straight to Working Hell and Still A Pariah. There’s a song in there somewhere …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, one doesn’t only walk shamefully in college. I’ve had plenty of humiliating sojourns in a wide variety of settings. (Hey, if you’re good at something, you might as sharpen your skills.)

      And there IS a song in there. Or maybe a limerick. Or a Past Imperfect! I’ll see what I can cobble together, assuming I can still remember said objective after I hit “post” with this comment…


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