It was a really swell evening at the nightclub until Humphrey apparently became distracted…
Lauren: “If you’re looking for the drink menu, that’s not where it is.”
Humphrey: “Well, something is there. Have you seen this?”
Lauren: “Who hasn’t? Still, put your eyeballs back in, here come the photographers.”
Humphrey: “I’m pretty sure their cameras aren’t focused on me.”
Marilyn: “Cameras? Hang on while I act like you said something really funny. I just got my teeth cleaned and I might as well make the best of it.”
Lauren: “God, she annoys me. How can you possibly feel good about yourself waking up next to someone like that in the morning?”
Humphrey: “I don’t think that will be an issue. Because I’d never go to sleep.”
Previously published.
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
Shortly after that night Hump started the trend of celebrities wearing sunglasses indoors. Blinded by Marilyn’s sparkling massive incisors? Who’s to know.
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Another trend that apparently started that night? Leaving your bra at home with the household staff and ignored offspring…
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Enlarge the photo, you’ll see Bogey’s interest is purely medical. Poor Marilyn has a mole on her right breast that needs a doctor’s attention.
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Ah, so he’s concerned about her health. Good save!
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Well and truly distracted.
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How could we not notice?
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An awful lot of boobs in that picture.
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Right? Is this the Miss America pageant?
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I count 5 boobs! Can men still be called boobs if they are doing something stupid?
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I believe so. Let me know if you hear otherwise… 😉
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Looks like Lauren was about to have a Wardrobe Malfunction of her own…and what IS that in Bogies’s hands? A fortune cookie??
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I think Angie, he was ‘rollin’ his own’. Now what sort of ‘tobacco’ he put in the cigarette? Only Bogey knew for sure. 😉
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Do I really want to go down that ‘Don’t Bogart’ route? Oooops I did.
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As a completely innocent babe in the woods, I know nothing about malfunctions and rolling and bogarting. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Just like the rolling papers would stick to my lip when I was preparing party favors on a Saturday night…
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Fabulous photo, Brian. Have a great weekend!
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Thanks, Sheila!
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I have to agree with Ms. Bacall. He was distracted by Marilyn’s girls. I’d say Ms. Lauren’s own mammaries are in danger of poppin’ out of that skimpy top than Ms. Marilyn’s are. Marilyn, being over-endowed in the boob arena, probably knew the prudence of sturdy undergarments and doubled sided sticky tape. Also being labeled and stereotyped as a ‘bimbo blonde’ (not her true hair color but we all knew that, right?) meant learning to giggle and simper and latch onto any half presentable male in a five mile radius. Bogey had the additional allure of being a ‘name’ star in old Hollywood, where men were men and women were easy (as was the living apparently).
i hope Bogey does put his eyes back in his head. That sort of staring causes eye and crotch strain…
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Very precise and knowing analysis. This photo is simply drenched with lots of things that shouldn’t be, along with plenty of denial about those shouldn’t-bes. In other words, welcome to the hypocrisy of America. Would you like some coffee with that?
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Aw curses. should read “are in MORE danger of poppin’..” Damn. I plead wicked allergies as my only defense. Or it’s the dreaded C-word.
I promise this comment isn’t compromised though. I wore gloves to type it!
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And I wore gloves when I read the comment. You can never be too safe…
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I appear to be the only one who thinks more of Bogart’s character, that being: cheating on his wife is one thing but cheating on his mistress? Never!
I contend he and Bacall likely did have a discussion later in which words were said along the lines of “poor dear” and “my eyes will never be the same.”
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At the end of the day, it’s not about who is right and who is wrong, but about who figures out the best way to smooth this over and keep going. (Feel free to nominate me for Nobel Peace Prize. People have won that thing for less effort.)
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