My Life

A Bit of Indulgence on My Part

I’m normally not one to get mushy and sentimental when it comes to my personal relationships, at least here at Bonnywood. Sure, Partner is mentioned from time to time, but I generally steer clear of composing lyrical ballads filled with swooning passion or sharing quasi-intimate photos of us gazing at one another with soulmate intensity. (Not that there’s anything wrong with folks who do such things on their blogs, don’t get me wrong. It’s just not me.)

But those of you who know me well (and many of you have managed to do so, with thrilling precision) realize that, despite my crusty coating on the outside, I’m just a big ole mess of sappy goo on the inside. There are moments when a simple thing or action wraps a string of lights around my heart, and the glow from those lights, the warmth, breaks through my crusty-pie armor and gets to the idealism and hope and joy of my gooey filling.

One of those moments happened this past Tuesday.

Partner and I reached the milestone of Twenty Years Together.

On our anniversaries, we have certain traditions. We get each other cards, typically three, with two of them being sarcastic and/or humorous (it’s Bonnywood, right?) and one of them being romantic and/or poetic. (I always have trouble finding a card that fits that third slot. Sure, there are some folks out there producing greeting cards for the LGBT community, but they are still few and far and most of them don’t say what I want to say.)

We also post messages to each other on Facebook, despite the fact that I am rarely on that platform for more than three seconds in any given month. Still, we do it. And Partner almost always posts first, as he is not as disgruntled with Facebook as I am and spends more time there. I usually come straggling along at the last minute with my update, plunking my missive in that mess and then running like hell.

But this year? With that milestone? Well, I thought it best to hit the ground running. Shortly after midnight on Monday, I shared the following, mildly proud of myself for what I thought was a nice little tribute:


Hey, Sweetie.

The last 20 years have been a wild, crazed, up and down, sideways and backwards and forwards, twisting and testing and tantalizing, surreal and satisfying and slippery, magnificent journey that started two decades ago with both of us thinking “I kind of like that guy”. So we took the plunge, and we splashed around, and things got wet, but we learned how to dry those things out and how to patch the cracks and how to fortify the foundations, and now our house is strong and ready for whatever the winds may bring.

I’m so glad we’ve been co-pilots on this Serendipitous Space Shuttle. And I do believe there’s plenty of gas in this here shuttle to get us, not only to the moon, but to the stars beyond.

Happy Anniversary, Baby. I’ve got you on my mind.

And I love you.


Not too bad, right? Not Shakespeare, but still.

A few hours later, Partner walloped me with this:



To my one and only.

Today we mark a milestone. 20 years together.

While it has not always been easy, it clearly was the best decision I have ever made and the most outstanding and rewarding thing I have ever accomplished. I knew from the beginning that there was a connection that we could not, and should not, ignore. I was sure that we should see where this journey would take us. I knew that if we didn’t, we would regret it one day. I am so glad we took that chance.

I sit back in awe that someone wants to spend this time with me. It’s always easy to stay with someone when the relationship is new and times are good and to walk away when things get tough or when days are not as rosy as others. Thank you for wanting to make this work. I think the payoff has been wonderful.

I look at all we have achieved together and thank my lucky stars that I have such an incredible friend and partner to share this with. There is so much we have experienced that we would have totally missed if we had never come together.

This has been an amazing journey so far and I cannot wait to see where it goes from here. I look forward to every new day with you.

You make me a better me.

Happy Anniversary – I Love You.


As you can imagine, the lights around my heart have exceeded their maximum wattage, violating safety codes and alerting regulatory commissions that they should investigate. I say bring it on, because you’re not putting out these lights.

We struggle and we mess up and we trip over our mistakes, often repeatedly. But sometimes we make the perfect pie, with just the right amounts of crusty and gooey.




74 replies »

  1. Happiest, love-filled wishes for Love and Hugs and Congratulations to both of you on this incredible anniversary! I envy you both SO much – my late husband and I knew each other for for over forty years, but we only got fifteen years together. Enjoy every bit of this magical time together, my dears!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Darlin’. But don’t be envious. Every day is a new day and you never know. Easy to say, not so easy to live, but I really do believe it. It was sheer happenstance that Terry and I even met each other, and it took us a while to get together as well…


  2. Of all things, we can only give ourselves one thing without noticing its scarcity, a single thing that fills us by the fleetingness of an instant, a single thing immanent to the essence of all things, because basically it is the substance that everything determines it and it is also the state to which everything subscribes: love.

    Happy Anniversary!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Brian I am sitting here reading these affirmations and I am crying. Such depth of feeling between two people is inspiring. My parenting had it. 58 years. Congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for letting me bask in your beautiful love-light! 😍

    20 years takes a lot of work! The ex & I got married on our 18th anniversary, but our story had a different ending 4 years later.

    Here’s to 40 more years of gooey mushiness!🥂🍾👬💌💌

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Donna. And while my mildly-decaying mind will probably bring us to the “so many that we lose count” point rather quickly, I have a leg up in that we got together in 2000, making the math a little easier… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Aw. Congratulations!! ❤ ❤ I admit to sniffling, wiping my eyes, and remembering deceased hubby with some rose colored glasses. He and I had NOTHING like you two share. Thanks for showing me today that love still exists and thrives. I needed the reminder.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Life can sometimes work out beautifully. All it takes is a little work now and then to last a lifetime. PS: A dearth of good LBGT cards, a veritable word nerd = a start up opportunity?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Happy Anniversary to you both! 20 years is a long time in any relationship, but I think you’ve probably felt at times the years flew by and at other moments time was standing still. Pretty and I salute you and thank you for your authenticity and abiding love for each other.
    Love and hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Sheila. You’re exactly right. The race is always ongoing. Sometimes we’re flat-out barreling around the track and other times we’re limping along with yellow flags waving in the air while spills get cleaned up.

      Love and hugs back at ya.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh God, this has made me so damn happy!
    I love that you found each other, love that you still act like silly romantics, love love LOVE the photos… just so much love… *sigh* 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    • 46 years? That’s an admirable and incredible accomplishment. And if you have some spare time, could you let me know how you accomplished such without one of you issuing a restraining order? Just kidding. After all, we’re not old. We’ve just learned what’s important and what is not…


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