The Journey

Friday Night Clam Bake – #31: I’ve Got Feels, They’re Multiplyin’

Hey, Folks.

Care to join me around the Bonnywood campfire once again? Of course you do, or you wouldn’t have stopped by to see what’s going on. But before you plop your ass down, be sure to squeeze out the seat cushion. It’s been raining for the last few hours here and things are a bit moist, and I would assume that most of you are not interested in a wet tushy. Unless that’s your thing. There’s no judgment here at The Manor. So, settle in, make sure your beverage of choice is topped off, and let’s chat and do a bit of sharing.

The rain makes me pensive, always has. I suppose it goes back my childhood, when I was the odd duck in a family of conservative sheep. They didn’t get me and I didn’t get them, and I just wanted to be outside, away, playing on my own in some random bit of the woods where I could be me whilst no one was watching. Rain hampered my temporary escapes, forcing me to stay inside, where I would flop on my bed and dream of better. There’s nothing quite like feeling completely alone in a house full of people.

Which leads me to tonight’s first video. Josh Groban has shared in interviews that this song is, in part, about loneliness but also about the importance of finding your answers within.



I did eventually, and permanently, escape the House of Unforgiving Sheep as well as Tulsa, the House of Unrepentant Racism. In hindsight (such a nasty bugger that is, Mr. Hindsight), I didn’t plan my escape very well. I simply got fed up one day, dropped out of college, packed up my meager belongings and fled to Dallas. My conception at the time was that Dallas was a huge metropolis, compared to Tulsa, so surely there would be more acceptance of odd ducks.

I was mostly wrong, and this move proved to be the first in a series of poor choices on my part, choices that compounded over the years until suddenly (or so it seems) decades had flown by and I really hadn’t done anything I really wanted to do. (Sound familiar to some of you? Sure it does.) And this reflection is the trigger for our next video…



But despite the crap-fest that Dallas proved to be, located as it is in the state of Texas, where much of the citizenry has the compassion of a bitter walnut, I managed to find pockets of like-minded souls fighting for change. This strengthened my political activism, an inclination that was budding in Tulsa but fully blossomed in Dallas. Decent people can make a difference, but it can be a difficult and frustrating journey. Still, I accepted the challenge and I’ve never looked back. I will always fight for the odd ducks, in whatever manner I can. And one of those manners involves poking a stick at unqualified, worthless politicians. Which leads to the next video…



Speaking of standing up and claiming your right to be yourself, I’m jumping right to the next video. In case your weren’t aware, June is Pride Month, and although this song from George Michael was not his “official” coming out (that didn’t happen until years later), if you were willing to listen to the words with an open mind, the message was very clear.

“I think there’s something you should know

I think it’s time I told you so

There’s something deep inside of me

There’s someone else I’ve got to be.”



To wrap things up, let’s end with a cover version of a song that is very apt in this confusing, frustrating, challenging time of a poorly-managed pandemic and riots over police violence and a vindictive, clueless president who would gas peaceful citizens just so he can hold up a book he’s never read. Jordan Rabjohn and his mother, Sharon, have some considerable buzz after appearing on “X Factor”. Jordan is splendid. But when his mother chimes in? Holy Cow. Just listen.




29 replies »

  1. Oh yes, the decades flew by; some years were good, some not.
    Stay safe; I understand that’s there’s quite an outbreak right now in Texas.
    And, isn’t the carrot-that-walks-like-a-man holding a rally this weekend? Maybe he’ll get covid and develop really bad diarrhea. Then both ends will match.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I have blue friends living in Texas and a sister in law who turned red after moving there. It’s always interesting to hear their totally different takes on the state of their state.
    personally, I don’t think you fled far enough from Tulsa but I’m happy you found a clan. Next time you decide to run…. come to Maine. I’ll be chilling the martini glasses in anticipation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, I know I didn’t flee far enough. But it got me out of Tulsa and allowed me to immerse myself in a hodgepodge of other cultures, even if some of said cultures smelled like Oklahoma. I’m always grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow, like the offer of martinis in Maine and digital friends who would proffer such…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Beth. And actually, the Five for Fighting albums from that time period are terrific. I remember many a road-trip home to Oklahoma where I would put one of them on repeat and drive for hours…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So nice that you accept odd duck choices like wet tushies (tushy’s?) – the Manor is so understanding. I wonder if you Brian would have enjoyed Austin TX more? My daughter has been there a few times and really enjoyed it. Texas is a long way off for me but y’all (lol) don’t count me out as someday I could be a Lineman for the County, and I’ll drive that main road singing Rhinestone Cowboy just cuz on a loud highway with lots of road noise I sound not bad. – David

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve actually been to Austin, and it IS a great and accepting oasis in the middle of Texas (for the most part). But, truth be told, I’d rather just not be in Texas, period, but life circumstances have removed that option from the table, for now.

      As for the “Wichita Lineman” song, it’s actually one of my favorite Glen Campbell efforts. And the fact that the song writer (not Glen) was inspired to write the lyrics after spotting a lone lineman on a telephone pole on a rural road makes it even richer. Little things can become big things in satisfying ways…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Not genius, just observation. Okay, maybe a little bit of genius. As I’m sure you know, it’s rather satisfying when someone appreciates the way you make the words play…. 😉


  4. That George Michael song is one of my favorites! And being alone in a house full of people… ugh! Walking through the fires is rough but it DOES make us stronger.

    Jordan and Sharon…😲 WOW! I envy their voices. Ben shushes me… my singing is SO horrible, no… it really IS. I still sing, but I wish I could belt it out without causing pain to others😕

    San Diego does it’s big Pride thing in July. When I was doing my political activism thing we marched in the parade… that was so fun! Got to see all the people watching. I reccomend marching in a parade if you ever get the chance. And at Pride??? Only one word fits… FABULOUS!😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love the George Michael song, but I love even more that most of the “supermodels” in the video appeared for free just to show their support for his struggle to be himself in a time period when you couldn’t be openly gay without consequences. It’s beautiful.

      Oh, I sing all the time, despite my at-best mediocre skill, so don’t fear the reaper. It’s not about the quality, it’s about the passion…

      I’ve never actually marched in a pride parade, but I have been to many of them over the years, and the excitement and passion and freedom is phenomenal. In fact, I might need to sing about it… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Utah has a version of PRIDE festivities too. Hubby and I attended a couple of years when they first held a parade and had a street fair. I think some Mormon ancestors were rolling in their graves at the notion. I also find it very ironic that (to borrow Lynette’s rib tickling phrase) “The Carrot that Walks Like A Man” again shows his dim-witted ‘intellect” by hosting a rally on a day I never heard of before – June Umpteenth” weekend of something (my own dim-wittedness is showing obviously). June is Pride Month? Well well. FEBRUARY (shortest month in the year) was “Black History Month”, but it seems color is an issue this year for the Umpteenth thing too? Take care of you whatever you get up to. If you wanna run away for a lost weekend, Utah is a mere 24 to 48 hours north is all. I don’t have any martini glasses to chill, but I do have that bottle of wine in the frig, which has never been opened (yet). I’ll leave the light on in case.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pride parades are fantastic. The simple joy of seeing so many people be themselves, at least for one day, is so empowering…

      I understand about the Mormon ancestors rolling. Most of Oklahoma, to this day, still clutches their pearls in abject shock when Tulsa or any city kicks off anything resembling a celebration of the Rainbow People. Many miles still to go, hats off to the brave ones marching those miles.

      But really, the last part of your comment warmed my heart immensely, with that image of a porchlight shining in the night…


  6. I can’t remember if I ever told you this – if I have, please forgive – but when Hubs and I were getting serious, he alerted me he was considering entering the ministry, meaning first attending seminary. And I told him, I’ll live anywhere but Texas. And there actually is a Presbyterian seminary in Austin and people told me that Austin is different. I said, sure, but you have to drive through Texas to get there.

    I hadn’t seen the Biden video – that’s perfect! And holy cow, that mama can sing!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, you’ve shared the soul-searching of Hubs considering seminary options and the possibility of a Texas landing pad. Austin is great and welcoming, but it’s best that things played out for you the way they did.

      That Biden video? With the feeble slurp at the end? Pure brilliance, and a hint that maybe I should delve into creating snarky videos for Bonnywood. I probably won’t, but still…

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.