Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #119 (Variations on a Theme)

Note: This is another Crusty Pie post where the original is a bit lackluster. So, let’s mess around with it, shall we?


Original Take.

As is typical, none of the men could figure what they might have done that caused a child to suddenly become a part of their lives…


Rewind, Take Two.

The White House Staff struggled in vain to keep cranky Little Donald away from the Twitter machine…


Rewind, Take Three.

Man on far left: “Any of you guys need some fresh fish?”

Man on near left: “I hope the fish is fresher than you look.”

Bebe: “I don’t have any teeth, you fool.”

Man on near right: “Do you remember that time we tried the blowfish in Osaka?”

Man on far right: “I’ve never even been to Japan. But I’ve tried the clam chowder at Red Lobster, and it was probably just as dangerous.”


Rewind, Take Four.

Left to right…

John Lennon: “Look, mates, I don’t understand what the problem is.”

George Harrison: “The problem is that she won’t stop howling.”

Yoko Ono: “Why won’t you let me join the band?”

Paul McCartney: “Sometimes I just wanna fill the world with contraceptives.”

Ringo Starr: “And once again, I don’t understand your lyrics, Monkey Finger.”

Paul: “Actually, John wrote that bit.”

Ringo: “All the more reason that we don’t need no Yoko.”


Rewind, Take Five.

The conservative judges of the United States Supreme Court huddle together and plot their next move to stop immigrants from entering America, ignoring the fact that they are all descendants of immigrants…


Rewind, Take Six.

Bottle of chianti in the lower right: “Where is Billy Joel when we need him?”


Rewind, Take Seven.

The original cast of “Friends”, before Lisa Kudrow was hired and Courtland Cox had a sex change…


Rewind, Take Eight.

Another Italian film is released that nobody can understand except the Italians…


Rewind, Take Nine.

I’d do the guy on the far right. You?


Rewind, Take Ten.

Left to right…

Blogger #1: “But this post is really important to me and it came from my soul.”

Blogger #2: “No it didn’t. You threw some random crap together and crossed your fingers.”

Blogger #3: “And you never comment on my own site so why should I care about you?”

Blogger #4: “I really don’t get all the weird references and obscure trivia. I just don’t have the time. Don’t you think we should drop Bonnywood from our feed, Blogger #5?”

Blogger #5: “Well, he said he would do me. I think that’s worth a few more likes. I just wanna fill the world with silly love wrongs…”


Previously published, slightly revised. (P.S. I’m Italian, so let’s not get too worked up about that Italian remark. The other stuff? Fair game, Monkey Finger.)


23 replies »

    • I think the world would be in a much better place if we DID have a mojo filter. But that’s just me…

      And yeah, I’m still fixated on Far Right Guy. He looks exactly like the poor choices I made in my younger years… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sick Hamster: “Hey, that’s not fair. I’m nothing like that Trump Dump, even if I have a dry cough that I can’t shake and I might smell a bit off.”

      Unsick Hamster: “Then maybe you should have worn a mask when you went to the local bar.”

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Bebe who is destined to grow up misunderstood. A little appropriate howl-age is understandable. Besides, do men (no bias nor hatin’ in the remark intended) even know how to change a diaper? That kid has a full nappy I suspect, or the smell of cheap hair products in the morning has made it bilous. Me? You’ve provided reason #1431 why I never wanted to procreate. Those baby things are far too noisy and messy and upstage everyone. Most on-hearers want to smother the little brat after about .5 of a second, less if they’re in a plane (when people actually flew in planes)…. And yeah I’d do that guy. But would he do ME? The concept boggles the mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m always being told that I would make a great father. I think the people who are doing the telling really don’t understand me. I don’t have the PATIENCE it takes to raise a child. I have a hard enough time as it is raising MYSELF. If somebody needs me to change their nappy in the middle of the night, there’s going to be a lot of disappointment…


  2. I don’t know, Brian. Far right guy is good-looking, sure, but he’s also aware he’s good-looking, and that’s bad news. Here’s a tip I’ve come up with: does he like cats? (Not the musical, the animal.) Men who like cats have learned humility So before you make any moves, take him to Petsmart and see how he reacts in the room with all the rescue kitties. Does he turn into a quivering bowl of mush? Nail him!
    I realize this is off-subject, but I’m just looking out for you. Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fair advice. One should always do careful research before making a decision about The Nailing. Unless vino has been involved. Then all bets are off and, most likely, somebody will be deleting a certain contact on their phone, come sunrise…

      Liked by 1 person

      • the “i soliti ignoti” is really a masterpiece in history of cinema (anyway in european cinema) , the characters playing movie was for decades iconas of the so called “commedia all’italiana” , the movie has inner self a touch of good humor respect hard life in italy in post iiworldwar with a touch of noir , in brief the core of italian experience … grazie, thanks again …

        Liked by 1 person

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