Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #125 (Variations on a Theme)

Original Take.

Monty: “You were working as a waitress at a cocktail bar, when I met you.”

Donna: “But even then I knew I’d find a much better place, either with or without you.”


Rewind, Take Two.

Donna: “Whatever you do, don’t go near the roasted pig.”

Monty: “So you’ve met my father?”


Rewind, Take Three.

Donna: “Darling, you know I don’t really care for you inviting all of your poker buddies over on a Friday night.”

Monty: “How is that different from you inviting all those tight-assed women over for your book club?”

Donna: “Because they don’t drink all the beer and leave the toilet seat up.”

Monty: “Oh, come on. Boys will be boys.”

Donna: “And divorce lawyers will be divorce lawyers. So if you don’t want to meet mine, I suggest you go to Plan B.”


Rewind, Take Four.

Donna: “Where have you been? We sacrificed the goat an hour ago.”


Rewind, Take Five.

Melania: “Have you been out grabbing things again?”

Trump: “I have never grabbed anything in my entire life.”

Melania: “But you smell like Stormy Daniels.”

Trump: “I did not have sex with that tramp. And I will fire anybody who can prove it.”

Melania: “Oh, please. We all know you’re not happy unless you’re screwing somebody.”


Rewind, Take Six.

Donna: “I’m sorry, that’s not the right password and I can’t let you in.”

Monty: “Password? There wasn’t a password last night.”

Donna: “Well, those dumbass American tariffs kicked in at midnight and you can no longer afford to drink here.”


Rewind, Take Seven.

Donna: “Do you want the red pill or the blue pill?”

Monty: “I want the pill where I’m not considered a failure if I don’t get the obscure movie references at Bonnywood Manor.”


Rewind, Take Eight.

Donna: “When I was a little girl, I dreamt that I would grow up and find a man just like you who would buy me nice things and make me very happy.”

Monty: “I had the same dream!”

Donna: “Did she look like me?”

Monty: “No, he looked like Ricardo Montalbán and he welcomed me to Fantasy Island. In more ways than one. I still get moist every time an Expedia ad pops up in my browser.”


Previously published, slight changes made, but no amount of editing will ever fully fumigate the current stench in the White House.


Donna: “I always thought Ricardo was kind of hot.”

Monty: “Girl, you have no idea.”

Donna: “So… are things bigger in the tropics?”

Monty: “Yep. Well, except for that little guy that kept running around and hollering about a plane.”


25 replies »

  1. Harry Sussex in the City: I told you this was a bad idea, but oh no, you had to come back here.
    Nutmeg Markle: There were one or two things I had to say to that teeny tiny orange wiener wacker.
    City: Like being in your late thirties and wanting to become financially independent?
    Nutmeg: I know, I can teach both of you how to do your taxes.
    City: Oh Donnieee, it might be best if we both left now!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fantasy Island was awesome. Good antidote to Captain Stubing, Gopher and Doc🙄🤦🏼‍♀️
    But when Ricardo was Khan in Star Trek🥵 I had feelings I couldn’t identify… but Judy Blume explained it, so all was well.

    I really should wait til morning to read & comment at Bonnywood. Umm… yeah.. gonna go to sleep now🤐🛌💤💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • Interestingly enough, I have never read a Judy Blume novel, despite all the girls around me in my childhood (and there were always girls around me, go figure) fervently reading and discussing such. It was like a little cult where I got the overall gist but I didn’t know a lot of the details.

      And please, comment whenever the spirit moves you. I certainly do…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Obscure Actress: You give me a tingle when you brush my hand.
    Obscur-or Actor: I’m glad. You have the most mesmerizing eyes…I feel we’ve met before.
    Obscure Actress (that’s Donna Reed? I thought she was blonde): Maybe we have … in a little cafe just the other side of the border “♪♫♪♫♫
    Obscure Actor (Montgomery): Oh now I remember … you were sitting there giving me looks that made my mouth water..
    Of course the pairing was doomed. Because he took the red pill and she the blue. Some things aren’t meant to be, even if one is an East End girl..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lovely dialogue and commentary.

      Donna Reed WAS a bit racy before she reclaimed her virginity on “The Donna Reed Show”.

      Monty was naughty as well. But he never reclaimed anything, as far as I know. So I guess they really did take different pills…


  4. Interesting — We re-watched this movie recently (it was on TCM).
    By the way, I had a dream recently that was one of those movie dreams, where you’re not the participant but you’re watching and you know what everyone is thinking/feeling. (Ever have those?) Anyway, the main guy longed for a pre-Trump existence and woke up in early 2016. So at first he’s excited, but then he realizes it’s on HIM to change the results of the election, warn everyone of an upcoming pandemic, etc. Poor guy. He was a neurotic mess.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a very interesting dream. I often wonder about traveling back in time, but according to most lore (not all), if you do so you’re not allowed to change events or everything goes off the rails. I don’t think I would be able to keep my mouth shut, so I guess I’m stuck here in my originally assigned time slot…

      I also have both “participatory” and “observational” dreams. I prefer the bystander method, since I don’t like “watching” things happen to me that I can’t control and those dreams often turn into agitated nightmares. On the flip side (not sure if we’ve discussed) I can often “tell myself” in a bad dream that it IS a dream, and I will wake up right away….

      Liked by 1 person

      • ME TOO!!!
        Oh my gosh, most people think I’m lying or kidding around when I tell them. I stumbled upon it when I was going through a rough time and had nightmares nearly every night. The key was first telling myself it was a dream, then finding a doorway or gate to walk through – it works like a remote control.
        Hmm. Maybe we should both write about our skill?

        Liked by 1 person

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