As is the case with any serious blogger, I try to analyze what may or may not be leading folks to my site. There are a number of tools out there that allow you to delve deeper into the mystical congruencies of how anonymous people find you. Some of these tools are expedient and forthright, getting to the heart of the matter. But most of them come with a price tag, a dubious cost no matter how you package it, because that’s just how some people roll: Figure out a way to charge innocents for information they could gather on their own if they just had that extra ounce of gumption.
I don’t really care for rewarding other people financially for my own laziness, so I try to be forthright and keep an eye on the “Search Terms” box on my WordPress stats page. (This special box allows you to see what folks have typed into search engines that somehow resulted in a click on one of your posts.) The most immediate factoid I’ve gleaned from this effort is that very few people are finding me based on keyword searches. That box is often empty, which means that I’m using words in my musings that no one else is using. (I guess this should come as no surprise; I was considerably chastised in my urchin years for my vocabulary choices. A bar of soap was often introduced into the proceedings.)
In any case, when there are entries in the Search Terms box, I study them with scholastic intensity, trying to figure out what bells I might be ringing. Interestingly enough, I’ve discovered that people will peck out the weirdest possible combination of words, and when they do so, they often land on one of my posts. I generally take the personal-validation route and try to believe that I tell interesting and unique stories, and ignore the possibility that the pecker or yours truly or both might need serious therapy.
But lately there has been one group of words, and variations of, that has caused me a wee bit of concern: “village of the damned part 2 sex story”
What the hell?
Now, those of you who have been with me a while may recall that I ran a series of posts entitled “Village of the Damned” starting back in December of 2015. (And this was a revision of a series I ran several years earlier, back when I was still losing my virginity in the blogosphere. And if you remember the story from those days, and you’re still with me, all I can say is I cannot worship you enough.) Bottom line, my version of “Village of the Damned” involved my obsession with collecting and displaying miniature yuletide housing. Nobody was bumping uglies. (Okay, there was a brief mention of possible carnality in one of the posts, but it was way later than Part 2.)
It’s the specificity of “Part 2” in the search terms that throws me. There’s nothing about sex in that post. Yet “Part 2” keeps popping up in the variations of keywords. (Other terms fluctuate: Sometimes it’s “sexe story”, indicating a possible French flair, and sometimes it’s “sex storye”, hinting at Old English ribaldry. Just the other day, it was “village of damned part 2 hot eex stories”. Eex stories? I’m going to assume that they were typing with just one hand, troubling as that image might be.
So it seems that there is a racy version of “Village of the Damned” somewhere in the underbelly of society. And apparently you don’t need to bother with Part 1, because Part 2 is where the good stuff happens, whatever that entails. I do feel slightly bad that some randy folks are finding their way to my blog, only to experience literus interruptus, but there’s really not much I can do about that. I just wanted to tell a simple holiday story about my fascination with things that can be plugged in that give me joy.
Oh wait, maybe I just made the connection…
Previously published, no changes of any realistic value have been made.
Footnote from previous post:
For those of you who will not be able to sleep tonight unless you learn whether or not this twisted wretchedness is continuing, here’s a review of the recent phrases in my “Search Terms” box:
02/11/18: “village of damned part 2 sex story” (See? That really is a search that people use.)
02/10/18: 3 “Unknown search terms. (What the hell does that mean, unknown? What can these people be typing that is unknown? “How can we finally get rid of Trump”?)
02/09/18: 5 “Unknown search terms”. (I’m starting to get worried.)
02/08/18: 3 “Unknown search terms”. (Are these the same three people? Are they thinking the results will somehow be magically different?)
02/07/18: 1 “Unknown search term”. (I guess two of the searchers had the flu.)
02/06/18: Another single entry, “pickfair manor”. (I have actually blogged about Pickfair Manor several times. But it’s kind of sad that this is the only actual, useful validation this blog has received from a research perspective in over a week.)
02/05/18: “village of the damned sex stories” (There it is again. But this person dropped the “part 2, meaning they have lowered their standards and they still landed on my blog. I feel so special. Does this make me a Kardashian?)
New footnote for this post:
The madness continues. Here’s a sampling of search terms over the last month or so:
09/07/20: “tumblr girls who do not mind taking a tumble”. As you can see by the date, this happened today. The scary part? There are TWO instances of this phrase. Are there really two people who need to know this intel or just one person who is really determined?)
09/03/20: “mbc Bonnywood” (Hmm. This one is actually intriguing, as I once did a collaboration story series with the lovely Melanie, entitled “The Bonnywood Embassy”. I can sort of see the connection, with perhaps the “mbc” being an attempt at “embassy”. But the chances are strong that the two are not related. And if not, what IS “mbc”? Wait, our collaboration DID take place in Utah. Maybe “Mormon Broadcasting Corporation”? Hmm, part two.)
09/02/20: “life lessons in horror movies” (Hold up! I actually wrote a post that, basically, has that phrase in the title. So, this proves that keyword searches actually work. At least 1.7 percent of the time…)
08/24/20: “I like to expose myself in public” (Whoops. This one is on me, as I also did a post that essentially contains that phrase, if you scramble the words a bit. But I’m assuming what I talked about in THAT post is not what THIS person is looking for. I’ll wager that it was Trump who entered the keywords, searching for another way to distract from his inability to function as a decent member of society.)
08/12/20: “village of the damned sex stories” (There it is again! Does anybody out there know the details about this mystical damn village where the sex is so extraordinary that people across the planet are yearning for copulation continuance? If so, please post a comment. You don’t have to explain WHY you know, of course (not my business), but a discreet link would be much appreciated.)
Also on 08/12/20: “young teens in frilly panties” (Okay, that’s it. I really need to clean house on this blog. Because I don’t want nuthin’ to do with THAT phrase, no sir. Sometimes the Internet is far more user friendly than it should be…)
08/10/20: “pearls funny girl” (Whew! A phrase that actually makes sense, as I scribbled yet another post with similar words, and this one has nothing to do with anything naughty. Swear. So I’m going to end my research right here, because I really don’t need any more examples of how what I’m doing here at Bonnywood could lead to a courtroom situation.)
Peace, part two.