Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #490

Note: To give this one some context, it was originally penned a few days after the Trump inauguration in early 2017. The echo of truth, especially in the last few lines, is blaring even louder nearly four years later…

Jeanne: “I can’t believe what is going on over there.”

Michael: “And I can’t believe the someone was actually paid to make your hair look like that.”

Jeanne: “Wait, what? Do you understand the button you just pushed?”

Michael: “Um… maybe not. I didn’t realize that I had pushed anything.”

Jeanne: “Oh, please. You just dismissed my appearance with the ease of throwing away a gum wrapper.”

Michael: “I’m not chewing any gum. Or following whatever path you’re on. Is this the point where I should accept the fact that we might not be hitting it off?”

Jeanne: “Really? You’re going to go there? Claiming ignorance like men have always done since you crawled out of the sea, even though we were the ones who cleared the beach so you could get your asses out of the water?”

Michael: “Wow. Okay, I clearly read a different script than you did. I thought this scene was all about how we meet cute and then we fall in love whilst an Alfred Newman score plays in the background.”

Jeanne: “Alfred can bite it. And you can, too. If you really can’t understand your flippancy, let me break it down for you. I’m sporting this hairdo because some man at the studio decided I should sport it. Women have always had to conform to the latest whims of the men who have the power. All a man has to do is show up and assume his mere ownership of a certain appendage grants him eternal rights to say and act as he pleases.”

Michael: “I fail to see how my stellar appendage should be part of this conversation.”

Jeanne: “And I fail to see how my hair should be part of this conversation. Why would you think it was okay to say something like that?”

Michael: “You see, Jeanne, this is where men get confused. Why shouldn’t we be able to speak our minds?”

Jeanne: “Because those minds shouldn’t be speaking if they don’t have anything decent to say. That’s the whole basis of the problem. Some men have so little regard for women that they can’t even absorb the concept that what they do and say is insulting.”

Michael: “I think you’re making a really big deal out of a bad hairstyle.”

Jeanne: “It’s not just the hairstyle, you twit. It’s everything. Women in this country are considered second-class citizens. Hell, everybody in this country is considered a second-class citizen by the overwhelmingly white, male and usually rich blowhards who are clinging to power, although there are a lot of poor blowhards out there who don’t understand they are being crushed by the very oligarchy they support.”

Waiter, wandering up with some degree of trepidation but hoping that he can finesse things so he still ends up with a decent tip: “So sorry to intrude, but some of the patrons in the cheaper seats are wondering why Madame is so urgently insistent and is using really big words that they don’t understand.”

Michael: “I was wondering the same.”

Jeanne: “Let me break it down for you. I’ve been watching the TV coverage of the Women’s March and it’s very clear that millions of people attended the marches and roughly two people attended the inauguration of Princess Tiny Hands, once you rule out all the people who were paid to show up at the ceremony even though they can’t even read the signs they were handed to carry.”

Michael: “You can’t actually prove anything that you just said.”

Jeanne: “And that will be the legacy of the Trump Administration.” 

Previously published, no changes made other than the Intro, because nothing HAS changed.

Remember in November.

32 replies »

  1. Yes, KBG its true, its true, Hey, I’m still on hiatus but I can’t not …
    Hope Springs Infernal.
    Hope Hicks and her infectious smile…
    Don now finds smiling quite the trial,
    Who envies Doctor Faucci’s task,
    Telling Don ‘you can drop the mask?’

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Too bad Guy Fawkes Day (remember, remember, the 5th of Nov – my mom was very British) doesn’t coincide with your election. But, on the bright side, if that piece of human malware loses, you can have a giant Trump effigy bonfire two days later, with lots of feasting and celebrating (in a covid-safe way, of course). Poor old Guy should be let off this year. He’s paid enough. Trump, of course, hasn’t paid anything and owes … a really lot. Yup, import a new/old tradition from ye olde mother country. Might be therapeutic.

    Liked by 3 people

      • While I try not to crow or take pleasure in anyone’s discomfort, I truly want him to have a full Covid experience. Pneumonia, respirator etc. Then I want him to fully recover, lose the election and be indicted for his corruption. Karma demands it.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Again, I’m rendered almost speechless. That last line will go down in history. It’s pure gold. It’s true today as it was when the conversation that wasn’t really about archaic and rather ugly hairstyles, nor dangly appendages that all women are very glad they DON’T have (just to be clear) happened. That whole ‘getting kicked in the crotch’ thing looks really painful. Well unless you’re a Princess Tiny Hands whose ‘appendage’ appears to be an afterthought and as small as the pinkie on the HAND. Melina (how do you spell that, I wish that horrid woman had a DIFFERENT name, it’s far too close to my own exquisite nomenclature for my personal comfort) must be extremely un-satisfied. Maybe, just MAYBE (if one really truly BELIEVES (close your eyes Dorothy and click your heels three times) that mostly dickless wonder will get shoved under a house real soon. Still having the Scarecrow for a President ain’t too appealing EITHER. I despair for the future. Whatever is chosen (no good choices IMHO) we’re all going to pay. While ‘they’ sit in their mansions and watch America burn. Gawd, this comment took a far more serious turn than intended. Mea culpa. Now someone go comb Jeanne’s hair; already. Please!!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh, it’s fine if you get all deep and serious. I’m certainly guilty of doing so all the time, with me initially leading folks on a farcical and humorous romp and then, bam, I throw in the deep thoughts at the end. As for the Scarecrow (I’m assuming you mean Biden), he’s not my first choice, but he is a far better human than the outrage we have lived with for nearly four years.

      And Melania? I have absolutely no sympathy for her. She knew exactly what she was getting when she signed the pre-nup, because you KNOW there was one. When she wore that “I Really Don’t Care” jacket when visiting the migrant-child prison camp in Texas? All of her self-involved, heartless cards were clearly on the table…

      Like

  4. Biden did get a one-point bump after the debate. He’s ahead 7.2% nationally and 3% in “battleground” states. Not bad when 90% of the electorate are already decided. Trump won’t be doing campaign rallies in the most critical time of the election. Appears to be a 50-50 chance of a one vote Democrat majority in the Senate.

    One must be optimistic about such things or there is no point about being anything.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh, despite my snarky attitude, I always remain optimistic. And you’re right, there are signs that change is blowing in the wind. I just hope it’s enough change to surmount the archaic debacle of the Electoral College. After all, both Bush Junior and Trump got into office without winning the popular vote. If we didn’t have the College and instead had a system of one person/one vote, we would have had a straight line of Democratic presidents since 1992…

      Like

  5. I remember loving this post the first time it ran. If possible, I love it more now.

    Also, regarding T & M with Covid-19, my son showed me this tweet so I thought I’d share it with you: You don’t need to send a get well card to Darth Vader if he gets hit with shrapnel while using the Death Star to destroy your planet.
    🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s a great quote. I’ve been biting my tongue in the last few days when it comes to social media (other than here at Bonnywood), because I don’t want to seem callous, but it’s been a very difficult struggle finding the right words to express “he’s a terrible man and it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving sociopath”. Sometimes the finesse escapes me…

      Like

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