As dawn broke across the land, Anthony tried to prepare himself for another workday in corporate America. But it all seemed so useless, devoid of meaning, and he just didn’t have the strength to even pick up his cup of morning coffee. Then, surprisingly, the coffee decided to change the agenda.
Coffee: “Dude, what’s your deal?”
Anthony: “I don’t have a deal. I’m just tired. I’m tired of watching other people get promoted just because they work harder than me, I’m tired of bosses that expect me to do my share, and I’m tired of other people getting credit for the things that I didn’t do.”
Coffee: “Really? Did you ever stop to consider that you actually have a job when so many people don’t?”
Anthony, contemplating: “Well, I suppose you have a point. I make decent money and I have health insurance and I get six weeks of vacation because I’ve been with this company since dirt was invented.”
Coffee: “See? Silver lining. It’s not so bad. Let’s buck it up and go out there and do the best that we can.”
Anthony, on the verge of an epiphany: “You know, I could keep smiling and signing my paychecks. I’ve made it this far, right?”
Coffee: “That’s the spirit!”
Anthony, veering away from the epiphany: “On the other hand, I could also do this.” Then he kicked the coffee cup over and went back to feeling sorry for himself.
On the other side of the two-way mirror, the leader of the focus group grimaced and turned toward the other participants. “And it looks like we have another undecided voter who doesn’t understand that blaming others for your own failures accomplishes nothing. Let’s send his profile to the Republican Party. I’m sure they have just the right alternative brochures for him to read.”
Previously published on “Crusty Pie”, modified a bit. This was originally scribbled a few days before the 2016 elections. Let’s hope that this time around fewer people kick the coffee over for clueless and self-absorbed reasons…
And yes, I’m still working on the “Casserole” saga. More to come on that front…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
I hate it when people get credit for things I didn’t do. Or didn’t want to do. Or didn’t think of. Greedy bastards, all.
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It’s so annoying when people don’t hand me awards just for my mere existence…
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Always listen to your coffee! Coffee comes directly from the gods, it must be wise.☕✨💫
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I always listen to my coffee. But then it has to listen to me and the creamer goes bad instantly… 😉
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Make no wonder he made a crap decision. He kicked his coffee before his coffee kicked in. 😉
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No wonder that creepy hotel had trouble getting bookings. All that coffee spilled everywhere…
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That ain’t no way to kick the coffee Anthony. Such a gentle boy, then he flys into a rage. His mama would be so disappointed. So much for Mr Hospitality!
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His mama was so disappointed that she stomped down into the cellar and apparently refused to eat. For a very long time…
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Mother and son, both off their rockers.
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Nicely tied up with current situation.
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There’s always a little bit of that going on around Bonnywood, have you noticed? 😉
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I do, and really like reading your updated takes.
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That’s just the coffee talking. Anthony should put a lid on it when there’s trouble brewing.
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And stop using those cheap-ass filters from Walmart…
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The harsh and gritty truth.
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Geez, 2016 seems such a long time ago.
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It’s certainly been one long nightmare since the last election…
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Alas Poor Anthony (or Yorick, which Anthony used as a ‘screen name”) I knew his (attitude) well…. *sigh* Charlie Brown or Eeyore for President!! (seriously though, I voted. And you have to have guessed for who(m)!)
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You voted! Hurray! Yorick thanks you. Well, he would if he still had vocal cords. And the rest of his body.
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C’mon, if you don’t vote, Yorick goes out of his skull.
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Being disembodied (and dis-envoiced too) can be so tiring! No wonder he wore himself to the bone! Mwahahah
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I got a text a few weeks ago alerting me my ballot was received and asking me to tell three of my friends or family to vote as well. At the time, I was doing the zoom thing with my kids, so I told them to vote.
On the one hand, I should be concerned some government agency (not my coffee) is texting me and doing so at the exact moment I can then follow through with their orders. On the other hand, my coffee offered me no such assurances. This is why I prefer tea.
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I’m with you on the discombobulation of folks that I don’t know knowing what I’ve just done. Don’t we have privacy laws? And didn’t I sign up for the infamous “Do Not Call” registry that apparently never worked? Oh, right, I keep forgetting that Congress keeps making exceptions for the very laws that they pass. If you vote, your privacy is now in the national domain. Make America Irate Again.
As for caffeinated beverages, I’m in constant flux. Sometimes I yearn for coffee, sometimes for tea. Does this make me bi-libational?
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What privacy? I received a government letter to have a very personal test done, where I had given no permission for that health data to be shared. But apparently it is… very disconcerting.
And I am all for tea. Coffee is just too judgemental
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