Charlie was surprised when the Immigration Officer informed him that he wasn’t allowed to bring that many mistresses into the country.
The Immigration Officer was surprised that Charlie had tried to claim on his declarations form that the mistresses were “work-related purchases”.
Most of the mistresses were surprised to find that there were, indeed, other mistresses, and not production assistants as they had been told. Bickering ensued.
The older mistress in front was surprised to learn that the people in her new country did not have as great a respect for eyeliner as the folks in her homeland, as evidenced by the shockingly-bare eyes of the recalcitrant Immigration Officer. She began muttering curses that did not sound exceptionally pleasant.
The even-older mistress behind Carmen Eye-lean was thrilled that she was still considered a mistress and this brought her great joy, even though one could not easily discern this moment of personal rapture based on her sour expression.
The caterpillar on Charlie’s upper lip was surprised to find that he was no longer chewing on a tasty leaf in a Bavarian forest, but, after a brief moment of reflection, he continued to chew.
The man to the right of Charlie was surprised to learn that the mistress directly behind Charlie was named Boris and was the proud owner of an Adam’s apple. He began muttering curses that did not sound exceptionally tolerant.
Boris was surprised when he spied a Pride Parade at a nearby intersection, but the discovery inspired him to take a stand. He opened his mouth and began an impromptu but heartfelt declaration of his true feelings, demanding that Charlie relinquish the rest of his harem, even the Sour-Faced biddy who could whip up a mean stroganoff that they all loved dearly.
The bare-eyed Immigration Officer discreetly signaled to his partner that now would be an excellent time to push the special button that would bring reinforcements running. Run they did, and Charlie and the Mistress Factory were quickly escorted to a nearby warehouse for further questioning, cursing, muttering, surprising, chewing and rounds of endless paperwork. (Welcome to the bureaucracy of America! Have you paid your taxes yet?)
All in all, it was not a good day for Charlie…
Previously published, modified lightly for this post. I was surprised to find this one in the archives because, frankly, I don’t remember writing it. (Welcome to the joys of getting old! Have you forgotten your own name yet?) And yes, that’s Charlie Chaplin, famous for his movies and infamous for his infidelities…
Categories: Past Imperfect