Charlie was surprised when the Immigration Officer informed him that he wasn’t allowed to bring that many mistresses into the country.
The Immigration Officer was surprised that Charlie had tried to claim on his declarations form that the mistresses were “work-related purchases”.
Most of the mistresses were surprised to find that there were, indeed, other mistresses, and not production assistants as they had been told. Bickering ensued.
The older mistress in front was surprised to learn that the people in her new country did not have as great a respect for eyeliner as the folks in her homeland, as evidenced by the shockingly-bare eyes of the recalcitrant Immigration Officer. She began muttering curses that did not sound exceptionally pleasant.
The even-older mistress behind Carmen Eye-lean was thrilled that she was still considered a mistress and this brought her great joy, even though one could not easily discern this moment of personal rapture based on her sour expression.
The caterpillar on Charlie’s upper lip was surprised to find that he was no longer chewing on a tasty leaf in a Bavarian forest, but, after a brief moment of reflection, he continued to chew.
The man to the right of Charlie was surprised to learn that the mistress directly behind Charlie was named Boris and was the proud owner of an Adam’s apple. He began muttering curses that did not sound exceptionally tolerant.
Boris was surprised when he spied a Pride Parade at a nearby intersection, but the discovery inspired him to take a stand. He opened his mouth and began an impromptu but heartfelt declaration of his true feelings, demanding that Charlie relinquish the rest of his harem, even the Sour-Faced biddy who could whip up a mean stroganoff that they all loved dearly.
The bare-eyed Immigration Officer discreetly signaled to his partner that now would be an excellent time to push the special button that would bring reinforcements running. Run they did, and Charlie and the Mistress Factory were quickly escorted to a nearby warehouse for further questioning, cursing, muttering, surprising, chewing and rounds of endless paperwork. (Welcome to the bureaucracy of America! Have you paid your taxes yet?)
All in all, it was not a good day for Charlie…
Previously published, modified lightly for this post. I was surprised to find this one in the archives because, frankly, I don’t remember writing it. (Welcome to the joys of getting old! Have you forgotten your own name yet?) And yes, that’s Charlie Chaplin, famous for his movies and infamous for his infidelities…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
Haha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Immigration is always getting involved in people’s business. There was a case, and I am not going to name names, of an immigration officer cancelling the visa of a woman because she smugly announced she had an American fiancé. Then she was banned for applying for a new one for a couple of years. The story was repeated ad nauseam until the people hearing the story had their eardrums burst from sheer exhaustion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I wasn’t going in that direction with my twisted message, but now that you bring it up, Immigration IS a mess, especially in America. Melania Trump’s parents can get whisked into the country on an express pass but folks seeking valid political asylum are turned away…
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s lucky he didn’t try to get through immigration in Australia. He’d be in detention along with all his mistresses.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, dang, that changes my plans. I was hoping to bring all my manstresses to Australia some day. Back to the drawing board… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I say if Charlie could satisfy all those women? More power to him…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It certainly gives a new twist to his “The Little Tramp” character…
LikeLiked by 1 person
No tramp stamps for Charlie this port of call.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m sure he could get come at Mar-a-Lago…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I want to know about the mistress wearing the bandana on her head behind Charlie and #1 and #2… why is she trying to hide? What is she looking at? Is she perhaps with Eyebrows, planning to run off to the parade?? Enquiring minds want to know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, that’s Madge, the Production Assistant in Charge of Emergency Eyeliner Supplies. She’s not really impressed with her duties, but she’s holding out for a promotion…
LikeLiked by 1 person
So Charlie (sans any chocolate factories…different story altogether) was the one responsible for the Great Eye-liner Shortage of ’02! Aha! No wonder the old biddy was sour faced, the more tempting morsel to Charlie’s right (left?) looked well pleased, leaving me to wonder where he had his hand; and her mother ? Auntie? Grandmother? of the white hair next to Contestant #1 – she of the pleasant visage, merely looked tired and a little disillusioned.. As to the frolicking and semi-celebratory air of the rest of the crowd? It’s the same across the years, when immigrants land here and don’t yet realize that America does not have streets paved with gold, there is no milk and honey flowing freely (emphasis on FREE – everything costs something), and that the citizens of their promised land are exactly the same as the citizens they left behind. Chock full o’ nuts..
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think you’ve uncovered enough material for a sequel to this story. And what’s up with those strange little tags that some of them are sporting? There’s clearly much more going on here than I first realized…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fake News! Every one of those mistresses are too old for Charlie. cheers
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now, now. It’s not the age of the wine but how well it performs once you uncork it… 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Agreed, but I believe Charlie had a preference for nouveau. cheers
LikeLiked by 2 people
Charlie looks like he swallowed something sour. Could it be that the soon-to-be-departed Orange Lump has placed a ban on his entry? The reason? He’s jealous of all those mistresses. Especially the one on the back right. She looks like Melania before the plastic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, good eye on the Melania sighting. I always thought she was a bit older than the number she used on her marriage prenup. The prenup I fully expect her to challenge once the Trumps are out of The Orange House and she initiates divorce proceedings…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Okay, sure, the man had infidelities, but he also wrote one of my all-time favorite tunes that I often hum and will likely request to have played at my funeral. As a matter of fact, I’m so hoping you’ll show up with your recorder and play it. Should I send you the sheet music? There’ll be a luncheon afterward, with stroganoff and Bavarian Cream pie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This rings a faint bell, so we may have discussed this before, but are you talking about “Smile”? If so, did you know Chaplin was supposedly inspired by Puccini’s “Tosca” when he composed the music? (The lyrics were added later and not written by Charlie.)
If you are not referring to “Smile”, please ignore the above paragraph.
And I will essentially do anything for a good Bavarian Cream Pie, so pencil me in…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am surprised to find that he really did a movie called “The Immigrant”. I guess this is part of the original script.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yep, this is a still from the actual movie. As for the script? Well, let’s just say I’m fairly certain this bit would have been edited out… 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Immigration does have a hobby of poking their noses in others’ business doesn’t it? Poor Charlie!! 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, immigration policies are often absurd and unnecessarily vengeful. But really, Charlie should have known that he was pushing the limit… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah yeah …but that’s like telling Federer to stop winning…thats what he does 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people