Humor

20 Reasons Why Trump Republicans Are Just Like Thanksgiving Turkeys

1. They both make a lot of pointless noise about nothing.

2. When you put them in the same room they all look exactly alike.

3. Both groups could float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, one for the theme and the other for the hot air and the fact that their movements are controlled by somebody else.

4. They both try to distract us from the real issues by sporting unnecessary things on their head.

5. They both are very popular in rural areas of the country.

6. When confronted with something they don‘t recognize, like the truth, they just stand there and blink, not sure what to do.

7. Some members of both species have wattles around their neck, but with the Trump Republicans this is often just a euphemism for a past history of working for behemoth oil companies, claiming they never said something until the video surfaces, or having spouses who are deeply in the closet.

8. Both of them make you sleepy.

9. Despite claiming to stand for moral values, they are often found flat on their backs in the middle of a dining table, with their legs in the air and strangers touching their body parts.

10. Some people can agree with eating certain parts of them, but nobody likes the whole thing.

11. Neither group actually understands that if they don’t pay taxes they won’t have roads to drive on to get to the Nascar races.

12. They both expect somebody else to clean up their own droppings.

13. Both groups firmly believe that if you just keep repeating something, it will become true. Like the turkeys with their gobbling and the Trump Republicans with their insistence that they actually represent true American values.

14. Both groups are associated with congealed cranberry sauce, one for the side dish and one for the content of their speeches.

15. Both groups are skilled in the art of fake support, like the turkey who pretends to love the farmer for the food he brings every day until it’s hatchet time and then he runs, and the Trump Republican Senator who waves the flag for our troops just to get votes and then he runs when the troops come home looking for decent benefits.

16. Both of them are very good at standing in a line and not making any sense, like turkeys trying to do math or Trump Republicans at a press conference. And they will both claw you to death rather than admit they are wrong.

17. If somebody comes at them with an axe or a grand jury investigation, they both point at less-fortunate animals in the barnyard and blame them.

18. When you get fed up with either one, there is still way too much left over the next day.

19. No matter how pretty and right you think you are, time and circumstance will eventually catch up with you, and you will be shoved someplace where it’s very, very hot. And no one will ever come to help you out, even when the little red thing pops up to indicate that you are done.

20. They both have things stuffed up their asses. This might explain why their heads are missing.

Cheers!

 

Original Note: Previously published in “The Sound and the Fury” on 11/25/11. Changes made to reflect the current madness that is the Trump Administration. Note the intentional use of “Trump Republican”. Despite the often-vast ideological differences I have with many Republican Party ideals, there are still some decent Republicans out there who truly want what’s best for our country. I just wish they would buck the crazy train we have now and speak out a little louder, as that would truly be something to be thankful for on this holiday…

New Note: Please excuse my naïve innocence in the previous note, scribbled three years ago. As we enter week three of Trump and his gobbling followers trying to steal an election that he clearly lost, there are far too many Republicans who are remaining mum whilst the outrage of Trump’s illegal machinations continues to stain this country’s reputation. It’s an international embarrassment, yet the soulless turkeys continue seeking the favor of a lame-duck man-child who has no sense of reality. Good luck with that. Not.

Story behind the photo: Random rocks at Broken Bow Lake, Oklahoma, representing the fracturing of American culture. Still, we must rise…

44 replies »

  1. 20 reasons that make sense to most anyone who’s willing to see reason.
    That flock of looney birds will need more than a wing and a prayer to stay current and remotely palatable after Thursday, if not inauguration day. And the Greatest Turkey of Them All- that tasteless sticks-in-your-craw fowl- WILL eventually leave the coop covered in shit and feathers. Even if he does stagger mindlessly past Christmas and New Year there’s January 20. Then it’s the axe, Donald J. Turkey.

    Liked by 5 people

    • It’s very possible that Teflon Don will manage to avoid SOME of the folks who are gunning for him, but he can’t escape them all. He’s got some judgement days coming. But his underlings? Some of them will never work again in a political capacity, unable to overcome the stigma and stench of the Trump administration…

      Liked by 2 people

    • Luckily, Trump can only be pardoned for federal crimes, although it’s a sure bet that Biden will not be considering that avenue. It’s at the state level where Trump is in danger, and the state of New York is salivating at the opportunities to come once he is dragged out of office…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think someone must have read this to the orange turkey, judging from today’s news. Now, how much crap can a headless turkey leave in the White House in the next eight weeks…

    Liked by 3 people

    • That’s the key, the damage in the next eight weeks. Trump is doing his best to destroy a peaceful transition. Luckily, most of the world is sick of his ass and hopefully his childish tantrums will just be ignored…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahaha! 😀
    The biggest problem is that Biden is going to be left with billions of shit-encrusted feathers that have been strewn over and compacted to the floor and splattered up the walls of every public service building in your country. The stink is going to be gag-inducing and eye-watering. Biden, Harris and their team are going to need a very strong stomach, a lot of help, and a stockpile of hazmat suits. And even then, they will still be stumbling over previously unknown steaming pools of diarrhea years from now, kept hot by Trump’s travelling cauldron of poison and infection.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Sadly, the vivid imagery you provide is rather spot on. Biden/Harris and anyone in the new administration is going to encounter four years of criminal ineptitude, deception and mismanagement. There was so much destruction in this country by the Trump Team that it will take a long time to bandage the wounds and stop the bleeding…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. 12. They both expect somebody else to clean up their own droppings.

    Economicly i agree with you. FDR had to clean up the mess resulting from the economic policies of the Republicans during the 1920’s.

    While Obama had to clean up the mess of the economic meltdown in 2008.

    However it was Clinton who repealed the Glass Stegal Act that allowed the seeds of destruction planted by Reagan and watered by Bush II to florish during the housing bubble.

    That said when the Tea Party rallied on the Mall in Washimgton DC the Tea Partiers picked up their trash before leaving.

    When the Occupy Wall Street Movement fizzled out and the protesters dispersed they left tons of trash behind that had to be cleaned up by the city of New York.

    Other than number 12 I’m pretty much in agreement with you. 🤓

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hmm. Despite the allure of debating the meaty points that you bring up, I’ll pass on the opportunity, other than to say that Clinton did not repeal Glass-Steagall. Congress did that, by replacing it with Gramm-Leach-Bliley. And really, most economists agree that Glass-Steagall did not have the punch it needed to effectively staunch the financial crises that followed the replacement.

      Okay, my bad. I said I wasn’t going to debate and then I did. But I do appreciate you getting into the nuances of the matter, because it keeps me on my toes. We should all pay attention to the details, as it’s the fine print that tells the true story, not the headlines. And unlike many bloggers and politicians and Fox News hosts, I welcome healthy dialogue. One doesn’t learn anything if they only read from one book.

      Fodder for a future discussion: What the hell do we do about China?

      Cheers.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Such a tasty buffet of comments and thoughts to choose amongst. All I can say is Thanksgiving Day is coming (to America), a day in which the turkeys (both kinds) will cease to be (a majority of them anyway) and America MIGHT be able to gather what’s left of her tattered dignity and begin to heal. Those Republican “turkeys” (an insult to a tasty bird in my opinion) are only lucky that the guillotine wasn’t one of America’s ways of dealing with unsavory folk or “Off With Their Heads” would be a rallying cry. I know who I’d vote for to be first in line too. The big orange one, trying vainly to hide behind his ragged feathers and pushing other lesser turkeys to the front of the line. I hope that orange bag o’ turds sticks his head in the trough for one more long drink and forgets to come up again for air. It’d be far less than he deserves..

    Liked by 3 people

    • Sadly, the healing in America is going to take a while, if we ever even get there. At this point, so many folks have suckled at the Misinformation Teat of Fox News for so long that they no longer have a grasp on reality. In a just society, Trump would never have been elected in the first place. We can blame conniving and lying politicians all we want, but the basis of the cultural divide in this country is that some people turn a blind eye to truth, and it’s hard to fix that kind of stupid…

      Like

  6. Regarding your New Note: Right?!!
    I truly believed that if Biden won, the Republicans would stand for Democracy over Trumpism. I was soooo naïve!
    On the bright side, I’ve heard that Republican voters in Georgia are so turned off by the rancor that they may not vote in the Senate runoff. (*fingers crossed*)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Georgia has definitely turned into one of the most interesting developments in this election cycle. In the space of just a few years, Stacey Abrams and other leaders have managed to turn the state from deeply red to blue (albeit lightly-tinted, but still). Of course, I don’t mean to ignore the other successes, such as Arizona, but I think it’s fair to say (and you would obviously know more than me) that Arizona has been slowly shifting for a while now. The Georgia example shows how a dedicated team of hard-working people can get the vote out and create change for the good, even in places that no one thought they could.

      As for the Senate runoff, I’ve heard the same as well. Trump still has a defiant base in that state, but he is really ruffling the feathers of critical moderate Republicans who are offended by his lies and baseless accusations. We shall see…

      Like

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