“I love you more than beer.”
“You complete my bobble-head collection.”
“You tractor-pulled my heart.”
“Your eyes sparkle like moonshine.”
“You are the prettiest girl in the Wal-Marts parking lot.”
“I love you like a sister. Oh wait…”
“Love means never havin’ to say which one of them kids is really mine.”
“The day we got married was the best day I ever had with a shotgun in my back.”
“You had me at hello, I’m here to slop the hogs.”
“You sure look nice sittin’ next to my gun rack.”
“I can’t really read this but the pictures are shiny.”
“I would love you even if I couldn’t use your teeth to open my beer bottles.”
“Momma says we oughta get married cuz then you won’t have to change the last name on your gun permit.”
“If they had your picture on the menu at the Dairy Queen, I’d order you every day.”
“I came here tonight cuz when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you better check for ticks.”
“Don’t forget I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to stop knockin’ her up every 20 minutes.”
“I don’t know how to quit you from running after the mail truck, but you sure can make a fine cherry pie.”
“You’re the only woman in the world that doesn’t have a restraining order on me.”
“If you can’t be with the one you love, it’s probably because one of us is in jail.”
“I love the way you hold my spittoon.”
“Our love will never be broken. Unless somebody raids the meth lab. Then I ain’t never heard of you.”
“Darlin’, you are more important to me than most of my trucks.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, banjos played at our wedding, and lots of cows did moo.”
“Every time I walk in the barn I think of our first night together.”
“I would finish the fourth grade for you.”
Previously published, no changes made. I’m a tad late with this one, but the homespun sentiments remain the same…
Categories: Humor
Bonnywood Manor 
Good ones, Brian. If they had your picture on the menu at the Dairy Queen, I’d order you every day.
Oh hell, I’ll order you every day regardless.
Happy Valentine’s Day
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Aww, that’s sweet of you to say. But I must ask… if you were going to order me as a dipped ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, would you choose the chocolate or the strawberry?..,, 😉
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Ooh…I’m afraid I’d have to go with the chocolate. I do love strawberries, but serve them with vanilla ice cream please. Stay safe.
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I love it, it gives me joy.
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All of these are really… special. Thanks for sharing the Valentine spirit. J.
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Love is in the air, every slight and every sound… 😉
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I’m positively swooning….
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And I must say that it’s a good look for you… 😉
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Haha! Some of them aren’t that bad! 😂😂😂
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But some of them aren’t that good, either… 😉
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That’s true! 😂
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“The day we got married was the best day I ever had with a shotgun in my back.” LOL. Does this mean he is forced to marry her at gun point? After that, he has to recite his unwavering love at every anniversary under duress? I have to say rednecks are rather exotic creatures and have fascinating customs.
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Oh, there’s a long history of “shotgun weddings” in America, not just with rednecks but within many small-town societies. It’s no longer the case, mostly, but there was a time when, if you messed with the goods in the shop window, you had to put a ring on it, so to speak…
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LOL. That’s funny.
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“Roses are red, violets are blue, banjos played at our wedding, and lots of cows did moo.” 😀 Moo over Hallmark, Brian’s Heartfelt Sentiments are here! You made my day with that one!
And, what’s up with the red thing in the photo? Is that a bottle opener or a bent hat? 😉
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Actually, the red thing is a glittery disco cowboy hat. It really shouldn’t surprise you that I have such a thing in one of the Bonnywood storage closets…
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Great post! I grew up with a bunch of guys from south east Ohio who would identify with a lot of these. That area is on the edge of Appalachia.
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Yay Zanesville! I spent a weekend there one afternoon. Got lost on their three-ended bridge.
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Ihoke: It sounds like we know the same people… 😉
Archon: Surely you realize that I raised an eyebrow over that three-ended bridge mention. Care to share?… 😉
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It’s called the “Y” bridge. Id have to look up the history but there was a runnlng joke about people asking directions and being told…”go to the middle of the bridge and turn left.”
Used to live in Newark.
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I looked ip the Y bridge in Zanesville, Ohio. The current version is bridge #5, built in 1983. Bridge #1 was commissioned in 1812 to connect the towns of Zanesville, Putnam, Natchez, and East Zanesville. All would eventually become the current town of Zanesville. The early versions were of poor construction (mostly wood) and several were washed away in whole or in part by floods.
It is the only bridge you can cross and still be on the same side of the river. Early aviators used it as a visual flight aide that made Zanesville one of the most recognizable cities in the country.
I used to live about 30-40 miles west of it. Weird bridge. Link below.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/xpKUqbK5otz7ED6z8
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Firstly, thank you for the additional information.
Secondly, and more importantly, you should know that I worship trivia. It does nothing to advance society, for the most part, but I live for it. I am becoming mildly enraptured with you, in a purely platonic manner, of course. Please tempt me more with tidbits such as this,,, 😉
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“Sorry this is late darlin, but I had to wait for the leftover Valentine’s cards to go on clearance down at the Piggly Wiggly.”
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And THAT card would probably be a best-seller in Oklahoma, sho nuff…
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That made me spit my tea! Way too funny!
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What a lovely compliment! 🙂 🙂
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BWAHAHHAHHAAA! I BET you got most o’ these offen the wall at Debbie-Sue’s Butter Barn and Beer Emporium in Ephraim, didn’t ya? It’s scary how apt these are for places like Texas, Utah, Oklehoma and any other place that “y’all” is in the actual dictionary. Belated happy V-day cuz!
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I done did stole em from Debbie-Sue’s. She never did bring back that cow I loaned her, so I figure I outta get some kinda compensation somehow…
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Brimming with romance.
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Just call me Doctor Love. Better yet, just call the doctor, period. I need help… 😉
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‘Now ya’ll hold up there Reverend- whats this “Fostering better family relations?” Ain’t none done better fosterin’ than our close nit family, Brother.’
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I hear ya, brother. Or is it Daddy? I never can remember anymore who done what ta who…
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My ex’s family lives in itty bitty towns is southern Indiana. One of my nieces is actually dating her cousin, the ex con. Cousin as in their fathers are brothers. Some Jerry Springer stuff!🙄
On a personal note… how are you? I have a friend in Texas got a foot of snow. No power and wind chill -4
Are you guys okay? Stress levels manageable? Enough pop tarts for a few days??💝💌💕
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Your ex’s family: don’t tell me, let me guess… are they Trump supporters? 😉
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I honestly don’t know. One brother for sure🙄
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Reblogged this on Love and Love Alone.
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Thank you!
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So wonderful 💕
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🥰🥰
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“I would finish the fourth grade for you.” 😂 Perfect ending.
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Of course, this means that some little towns might have to hire an actual fourth grade teacher… 😉
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“Darlin’, you are more important to me than most of my trucks.”
Just proves even rednecks have a heart. 😀
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Good point. We share our love in many different ways…
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Another one that was popular in my area was going to the family reunion to meet girls. Maybe those folks were related to King Ben’s Grandma’s niece (ex niece?). Takes all kinds – some we could do without maybe?
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That actually sounds like my own family reunions of yesteryear. Some of the cousins were just a little bit too happy to see each other… 😉
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One of my favourite jokes is “What happens when you play a country music song backwards? You get your truck back, your dog back, your job back, your wife back…” Hahaha!
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And the related observation: “If you play a disco song backwards, you can’t tell the difference.” (Nothing against disco, of course, but still…)
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🤣🤣🤣
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Nice one. I come from New Zealand and we have a similar kind of concept but it’s called Bogan. You are very funny 😄😆
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So, I take it that “Bogan” is similar to “Redneck”? Very interesting. I think I might be able to work that word into one of my stories. Thanks for the inspiration!
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Oh yes, very similar…like an antipodean version of redneck: beer, a wife-beater singlet, a mullet. I will try and find a good video example for you hehehe https://youtu.be/L6SMGrIaals
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I’m here to slop the hogs 😂😂
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There have been SO many situations in my sordid past where that line would have been perfectly appropriate… 😉
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You always cheer me up Brian, take care 🤗🙂❤️
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