Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #452


Orson Welles, left: “Why are you staring at me like that? Can’t a guy watch a movie in peace?”

Joseph Cotten, right: “Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you appear to be… attending to a self-pleasure ritual that is not quite appropriate for our establishment.”

Orson: “Look, I paid for my ticket. What’s the big deal?”

Joseph: “The deal is that the performance should be on the screen, not in the audience.”

Waldo, way in the background, hollering: “Hey Joseph, your wife is on the phone. Something about a goat that got loose.”

Joseph: “Not now, Waldo. Bit of a situation, here. Take a message.”

Waldo: “But she really wants to talk to you. I’m guessing the goat is doing something that it shouldn’t.”

Joseph: “I know the feeling.”

Orson: “Are you calling me a goat?”

Joseph: “I’m not calling you anything. But I am saying that you need to put the wick away. That candle can’t burn here.”

Orson: “Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with? I could have your job.”

Joseph: “And I would gladly give it to you. But until that happens, let’s downplay the foreplay.”

Waldo, still way back there and still hollering: “Now your wife is crying and saying that you don’t love her.”

Joseph: “I don’t love anyone right at the moment. I’ve got so much angst in me right now that I just want to head into the alley and take it out on a trashcan.

Orson: “I already tried that and it didn’t work. That’s why I’m in here.” 


Previously published. Slight changes made for this post. I should point out that no chemically-buttered kernels of popcorn were physically harmed during this production, although they may still need recuperative therapy due to the visuals.


Kernel #37: “Hmm. I never knew he was a lefty.”

Kernel #26: “But at least we now know why he made such big movies. He was clearly trying to make up for a bit of a shortcoming.”

Kernel #15: “Now, now. We can’t all be big and fluffy. Some of us end up at the bottom of the bucket through no fault of our own.


20 replies »

  1. I just googled Joseph Cotten and he’s in “The Third Man”. I can’t believe it. I watched it long ago but I thought I remembered all the details since I like the movie. But no, I totally forgot about him. Where is my memory?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your memory is probably off somewhere with MY memory, both of them enjoying a nice tapas meal on the coast of Southern Spain and leaving us to fend for ourselves…. 😉

      By the way, I sprinkled in a few somewhat-obscure words in the post following this one, just for you. I hope you manage to find and enjoy them… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • LOL. Let’s go to Spain and reclaim our rights to our memory, which is stolen by those monkeys. And the monkey queen demands a regular tribute of fruits and alcoholic drinks for the return of our memory. LOL.

        You mean even more than what you are usually doing? I think you usually do that with words like kismet or things like that. I will check out your new post.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Profiling of half-baked kernels was implied. I’m sure you’ll be hearing from popcorn lawyers at some point… 😉 As for the dialogue between Orsen and Joseph? My immediate impression of the dialogue (after reading your words on what was going down ((or up as it may be)) was that Orson, looking petulant and truculent and other words that don’t get much play (unlike Orson’s twig apparently); was muttering to himself “Damned voyeurs!”

    Liked by 2 people

    • Now, see, I may have riled up the popcorn lawyers, but now you’ve (inadvertently?) caught the attention of Twig lawyers (How dare you involve my woody clients in such abasement of another woody!) and we may both be hauled into a court of law. Then again, we might both end up in the same correctional facility and we’ll finally get to spend some time together, and I’m really invested in that angle… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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