Bette Davis, left: “What did you just say?” Olivia de Havilland, right: “I said that I love you like a sister but I can’t fully support you leaving the house looking like that.” Bette: “And why is that?” Olivia: “Well, two reasons. One is that no one wears […]
Casting Call on the set of “Peach Blossom Clambake”, left to right… Starlet #1: “I’m going to smile like hell even though I know I’m having a bad hair day. Momma always said that clean, pretty teeth will keep you out of jail. Of course, Momma drank […]
For the Driver: You are not a Divine Being. Everyone on the road does not have to do what you expect them to do. Yes, there are certain manners in which drivers should behave, universal expressions of decency that we should all embrace and support. However, mental telepathy […]
This one has clearly been yanked from the archives, as I’ve been retired for several years now. Those of you who have toiled in the corporate world should recognize an item or two. Enjoy. 1. I hit the fail-blog when trying to arrive at the meeting place on […]
Click here to read the first part of this story. Note: Last we left things, I had just failed the vision portion of my driving test, under very murky and nefarious circumstances, and I have been ordered to leave the building by a cruel government worker known as […]
While I’m generally one of those people who gets things done when they need to get done, I have certain fail-blog areas that have caused me considerable pain in the past. There’s just some psychological mis-wiring in my brain that keeps me from doing some things in a […]
Gary: “Darling, I have terrible news that I must share.” Tallulah: “You’ve been sleeping with everyone on the planet except me?” Gary: “Oh. Well, there might be a tad bit of truth to that rumor, but it’s really not why I called this meeting.” Tallulah: “You’re a serial […]
Glycerina was rather proud of her festive ensemble, as she well should be. After all, it had taken a tremendous amount of effort to put things together, what with The Great War going on and everyone being so bitchy about supplies and late shipments and “personal sacrifice for […]
Background: This is part of a chapter from my first book, a true tale of a crazed vacation in Paris. We are all sitting on the expansive back patio of our hotel, having a few drinks and reminiscing. For some reason that now escapes me, I gave all […]
Oprah Winfrey: “Hi there. I’m working on new stories for my magazine, and I just had a few questions for you.” Vin Diesel: “How did you get in here? I instructed my guards to shoot anyone who wasn’t an agent bringing me the script for Fast and Furious […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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