Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #478

Gary: “Darling, I have terrible news that I must share.”

Tallulah: “You’ve been sleeping with everyone on the planet except me?”

Gary: “Oh. Well, there might be a tad bit of truth to that rumor, but it’s really not why I called this meeting.”

Tallulah: “You’re a serial killer and you’ve finally decided that I was the next butterfly for your collection?”

Gary: “Seriously, what kind of scripts have you been reading lately?”

Tallulah: “To be honest, I read every script they hand me, because it’s hard to stay on the A-List when you spend your days popping bourbon and swilling codeine with the intensity of a woodpecker. So, yes, I’m a bit of an alarmist when it comes to men holding me in this manner. You’re probably going to kill me, which is what so many of the scriptwriters in Hollywood want to do with female characters because those writers are misogynistic twits who were scorned in the high-school dating scene.”

Gary: “I can’t even begin to compete with that line of thinking, so I’ll just ignore all your psycho-babble and go back to my original message. We need to get off this ship. It’s sinking.”

Tallulah: “Oh, right. Yes, I overheard something to that effect when the captain ran by me, screaming. But I’m not worried.”

Gary: “But we could be plunged into the water within seconds!”

Tallulah: “Still not worried. That ascot you’re wearing is big enough that we could turn it into a lifeboat and make it to Boston before we even start to take on water.”

Gary: “I don’t think you’re taking this seriously.”

Tallulah: “I take everything seriously. Especially the codeine.”

Previously published, mildly modified. In the comments on the previous share of this post, someone deftly made the trivia connection to the movie that inspired this snippet. Can you?

27 replies »

    • I suspect that you know exactly which movie I’m referencing, but you couldn’t resist twisting things a bit and obscuring your answer. You’re an anarchist, kind sir. An anarchist! Which satisfies me completely.. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

    • You got it, though I must confess that Tallulah brought that pain-killer baggage along with her when she arrived on set, as she was notorious for her pharmaceutical adventures. As always, I was a bit whimsical with my references…

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Um, I want to say that old film that “Sleepless in Seattle” was based on, but which title I cannot recall. I suppose I’ve seen Tallulah Bankhead in a film or two, because I happen to enjoy film noir a lot, but I don’t recall a single film I saw her in. O_o I’m blaming this lapse in cognitive function on the astounding amount of ‘haze’ in the air up here. I’m told it’s smoke from all those $#!@ wildfires to the North and West of us here (and one or two around these parts as well). That crap cannot be good to breathe for very long.

    Liked by 2 people

    • “Sleepless” was essentially based on 1957’s “An Affair to Remember”, a movie that transpired well after Tallulah had any decent acting credentials, so we’ll quietly push that to the side…

      I would THINK that you’ve seen a Tallulah movie, as she made quite a few, but it’s entirely possible that you haven’t. After all, there are tons of “classic” movies that I’ve never seen, much to the chagrin of friends who think my life is incomplete with having not seen such. We all have our paths and we follow them as we see fit. No need to worry about cognitive impairment.

      But those wildfires? How much more proof do we need that Climate Change is a real thing? But I’ll quietly push that to the side as well… 😉


  2. Nothing funny, but I just read about Mr Tex-ass Governor Sir Abbott No-mask being a real Positive social influencer- how proud you must be of your genuwhine leader(?) Idiotic to ironic in one foul swoop. What a moron!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Google tells me it is the movie “Devil And The Deep”. I am amazed by the number of Tallulah movies you’ve watched. All of them? The actor is supposed to be Gary Cooper. Google said he turned down “Gone With The Wind”. Can’t believe he did that. In hindsight he looks rather silly, but I guess he has other more enticing projects to work on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep, the photo is from “Devil in the Deep”. (Not sure if you’ve noticed, but in the tags for my posts I try to mention the movie and/or the stars featured in the stills, unless I simply cannot source the material.) I love me some Tallulah, even if she was a mess, so I’ve probably seen more of her movies than most folks.

      Gary Cooper was a huge star when “Gone with the Wind” was in production, so I would imagine that he didn’t realize the full extent of the opportunity he missed. Then again, he probably wasn’t quite right for the part…

      Liked by 1 person

      • He wasn’t quite right? I guess you like his replacement better. I’ve never read the book, but from the movie, I think Rhett Butler is just a figure of women’s imagination. No such man exists in real life. Then again, each gender is imagining figures unreal that it has practically become a common pastime.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, no worries. Feel free to watch Hitchcock’s “Lifeboat” on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Prepare some nice snacky bits and a cocktail or two and settle in. The movie is a bit dated and melodramatic (isn’t everything from 1944?) but it’s still very inventive and fun…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.