Month: September 2021

Past Imperfect – #184

Contestant on the Left: “I really think I’m going to win this beauty pageant. I have the longest fake curls, I placed a discreet tiara on my head as a subliminal message, and I bravely chose to wear dark stockings instead of the standard virginal-white. Like anybody up […]

Past Imperfect – #182

Left to right… Guy #1: “Golly gee, I can’t believe I got elected to Congress with these other fine gentlemen. I was just trying to get a fishing license and I guess I filled out the wrong paperwork. I don’t even know where Washington is. I wonder if […]

Past Imperfect – #178

Are any of these men able to wear a hat with grace and style? No. Is the happy kindergarten teacher with the six beers an alcoholic? Yes. Is that Sandra Bernhard doing a photo bomb on the right? Quite possibly. Will any of these people remember what they […]

Past Imperfect – #177

For the Vanderbilts, this was merely the servants’ quarters…  Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here. P.S. And yes, I realize that some of these ancient, never-updated Past Imperfects are less than stellar when it comes to imagination and wit. This is […]

Past Imperfect – #174

Marlon: “I know you’re keeping secrets from me, now spill it!” Vivien: “Moi? Why, whatever could you be talking about?” Marlon: “Like why is this hand so much bigger than your other one?” Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here.

Past Imperfect – #167

Somebody on the selection committee at the Atlantic City Miss America pageant was a wee bit confused about the actual states in America…  Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here. P.S. Yes, I realize that, over the years, the pageant had candidates […]

Past Imperfect – #165

Innocent Bystander #1: “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Innocent Bystander #2: “If you mean a giant Donald Duck ass-up in the street, yes.” IB #1: “Does this happen a lot around here?” IB #2: “It’s New York City. You don’t question anything. You just hope that whatever […]