Intermission #9: Dubious Croutons on a Hormonal Salad

Hey there, Happy Campers,

It’s that time of year again.

In a few days, we’ll be hightailing it to the mountains of Santa Fe, attending another lark at Hidden Valley Ranch, a lovely vacation compound crammed with delightful accommodations, beautiful scenery and the occasional untimely demise of one of the participants. After all, the rooms we usually request are in the “Murder Cabin”, so clearly there has been a bit of nefariousness afoot.

(It’s not important that Partner and I are the folks who christened the rustic dwelling with this moniker; rather, just ride the demented wave of our assessment and call it good. We have our reasons for said christening, and those of you who have been with Bonnywood for a while have read some of my tawdry tales of the goings-on at Hidden Valley, both within said death dwelling and across the massive expanse of said compound. And some of those stories are actually true.)

Anyway, as I mentioned, there are mountains, and since such are involved, our various signal connections to the rest of the world will be a bit sketchy or completely non-existent, most of the time. Cell phones will be reduced to the value of a paperweight, with the only viable signal located in the main lodge at the center of the ranch. This design is on purpose. We are supposed to leave reality behind and relax, which is a superb idea, but trust, almost everyone who shows up for our retreats is usually dragging along at least three signal-seeking devices. As bleary-eyed folks trickle into said main lodge for breakfast, the pinging of rapid-fire notifications downloading to thirsty devices creates a Cacophony of Madness.

Still and all, an active Internet connection will be a tricky thing during our respite, and I generally will not be able to make real-time updates here on Bonnywood. Since I can’t bear the wretched thought of leaving my beloved Bonnywood guests without at least some degree of regular entertainment, I am scheduling a series of posts to magically appear as if I was right there with you, when I’m actually swilling margaritas and trying to avoid being mauled by a randy bear who is enamored with some type of hormone that I’m emitting based on my daily concoction of anxiety and blood-pressure meds.

These shorter-than-usual posts will involve some of the lonely, neglected “Past Imperfects” that have appeared on my “Crusty Pie” blog but have never been revised and extended for sharing here on Bonnywood. (Those of you who are familiar with my process know that the “Past Imperfects” are born on “Crusty” as little tidbits of whimsy. After all, the tagline on that blog is “Big Pictures. Tiny Stories”.) I fully intend to eventually relocate all of the Neglected Ones over here, but I like to expand them before doing so, and some of the Left-Behinds are in such a status because I’m hitting a roadblock when I try to envision a worthy expansion.

And this is where you come in, Dear Reader. Your questionable mission concerning these abbreviated (at least for Bonnywood) posts, should you accept said opportunity (no pressure, of course) is to follow one or more of the following directives:

1. Read the post. (I realize this seems a given, but some people never actually do that part.)

2. Chuckle, if moved to do so.

3. Contemplate how the proffered seed could become a tree.

4. Wander off and do something else for a while, because the pressure is too intense.

5. Wander back and add a comment, suggesting how I might be able to water the lonely seed.

6. Ignore all of the above and carry on with your life, which is what 97% of the folks following this blog will do. Not judging, just saying; there’s only so much time in the day, and I respect that. (But don’t expect to be invited to stay at the Murder Cabin the next time we tromp off to Hidden Valley Ranch, just saying, part two.) And I am quivering with anticipation concerning the 3% of folks who will actually toss out random but delicious story ideas.)

And, that’s it. Summation: I’ll be out of pocket for a while, I’ll be sharing snippets of underdeveloped Crustiness in the interim, seeking your participation and validation, and I may or may not be mauled by a bear. In other words, just another day at Bonnywood. (Even though I won’t be here.)


Note: I’m sure some of you easily deciphered such, but the opening photo is a snap of the Intermission title card displayed on movie screens at the midpoint of the original release of “Gone with the Wind”.

65 replies »

  1. Hi Brian! I hope you find yourself enjoying your trip, let me tell you, that I always enjoy reading your publications. I rarely write, my English is terrible, hope you do not stop publishing.
    Take care or yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ooohhh… Murder House time. I’m all aquiver!
    Looking forward to neglected seeds. I’m full of sh… ummm… ideas. As long as I don’t have to fully develop them, I’m your gal.

    Beware idjit who believe they are excellent drivers, pack the jumbo thermos for your to-go beverages. And enjoy yourself!!! Pick up the pretty pebble that catches your eye, and put it in your pocket. It has power.

    Liked by 1 person

    • How perceptive of you to mention the pretty pebbles, as picking up such became a theme during our stay. It started with just a small contingent of collectibles sitting on a patio table so we could enjoy them during our cocktail hours. Then things escalated, both in number in size, and we soon had a formidable pile of rocks that could easily take a person out if said table got knocked over during the festivities. Somebody even dragged in part of a salt lick, which didn’t really fit the theme but did provide a nice contrast. Good times! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • The restrictions have been somewhat lifted in New Mexico (especially compared to last year’s visit, when nearly everything was still shut down), but we still had our masks on much of the time. It’s a bit difficult having your face covered in the heat of the Artist’s Square in Santa Fe, what with us doing our best not to sweat on the beautiful artwork, but we persevered… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m okay with this. You can take a holiday break if you must. If you’d perhaps think about doing a Brian’s Vacation Blog Hop – a la who does a summer blog hop. Throw five questions out there and have your crusty Bonnywoodians, denizens of the blogosphere who have, like I, enjoy your work and wouldn’t mind repaying you with some snarky commentary and put my best foot forward to give you a real break. All you’d have to do is go to Nancy’s site and see this linky thing she uses to allow people to link to their blogs and post to yours. She got a really good turn out this year. The questions aren’t difficult it’s the writers who fully bring that je ne c’est quoi or je ne c’est dire to the process. I hop on the crusty bonnywoodian train and answer 5 questions – people love talking about themselves don’t we or we’d not be bloggers. Some less confessional than my site – because of the subject matter and why people visit to get info about nasty terminal cancers – but I think it could be awfully fun. Maybe even make up an award “Crusty Blogger Award” or the “Brian Loves You Better Award” and you’d get a huger turnout and let it rip. Competition brings out the worst and the best in us – olympians be we all. Please wish us luck on our tomorrow weirded out by recall in the state of California where even though we already elected a governor we may not be able to allow him to win again because the election that’s not happened yet has already been called a fraud. Somewhere there is a DeLorean just revving up and getting back to the future while we sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sadly, I’m just now seeing this comment, and our sojourn in the mountains has come to a tear-filled end, so I won’t be able to do a Vacay Blog Hop. But you’ve mentioned Nancy before, and I will try my best to participate in some manner, once I get caught up on the thousands of comments waiting patiently for my attention on this blog. (Yes, I know I INVITED those comments, so I shouldn’t really complain, but it’s just in my nature to be a bit cranky.) Love ya!

      P.S. Looks like that vindictive recall didn’t work out, so there’s apparently at least a small degree of decency in this currently jacked-up world…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Most people would find vacationing in a murder cabin a little off putting, but you’re an odd bird and that’s why we love you. Enjoy your mountain respite and we shall endeavor to flesh out your stories while you’re detoxing from tech on hangman’s hill.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I hope you enjoy your holiday! I’m unlikely to be part of the 3%, because right now I’m batching it and weird things keep happening at work that clutter up my days and aggravate my nights. Looking forward to reading your posts though; your writing is a respite from the world. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • There was considerable enjoyment of the swilling, trust. Of course, even when the swilling was not happening, we were still generally light-headed due to the altitude, so I was quite content the entire time, albeit loopy… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I am really excited that I immediately recognized the intermission card from Gone with the Wind because usually I have to start googling like crazy after I read your posts to catch up. I rarely went to movies with intermissions but they brought this one back in the late 60’s when I was in college. Two guys my girlfriend and I knew casually sat in front of us, all excited to finally see the movie. At intermission they were gone with the wind. But this is all about me again and not much help….

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you got instant gratification with the opening photo, as that doesn’t always happen here at Bonnywood, even for the movie-trivia lovers. (Pointless side note: The DVD version of “GWTW” that we have actually displays the intermission card for fifteen minutes in the middle of the movie. I’m not sure what the producers of the DVD were trying to prove by doing that, but at least it’s authentic.)


  7. Well, I most certainly want to be invited to stay at the Murder Cabin the next time you tromp off to Hidden Valley Ranch. I mean, who doesn’t love Hidden Valley Ranch? It makes everything taste so much better!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You deserve a good vacation and have fun. Is there going to be a murder scene enacted just for the fun of it and a lot of fake blood? If that happens, I bet you will be the amateur sleuth who can solve the mystery, even if it is a staged one. You have shown your remarkable attention to detail in your blogs and this trait can be in full deployment in detective story as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Every year, the group asks me to write a murder mystery for us to act out or at least read around the fireplace in the main lodge, but I’ve haven’t managed to do that yet. After all, it’s a vacation, and it’s rather nice to not write ANYTHING for a week… 😉


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