Hey there, Happy Campers,
It’s that time of year again.
In a few days, we’ll be hightailing it to the mountains of Santa Fe, attending another lark at Hidden Valley Ranch, a lovely vacation compound crammed with delightful accommodations, beautiful scenery and the occasional untimely demise of one of the participants. After all, the rooms we usually request are in the “Murder Cabin”, so clearly there has been a bit of nefariousness afoot.
(It’s not important that Partner and I are the folks who christened the rustic dwelling with this moniker; rather, just ride the demented wave of our assessment and call it good. We have our reasons for said christening, and those of you who have been with Bonnywood for a while have read some of my tawdry tales of the goings-on at Hidden Valley, both within said death dwelling and across the massive expanse of said compound. And some of those stories are actually true.)
Anyway, as I mentioned, there are mountains, and since such are involved, our various signal connections to the rest of the world will be a bit sketchy or completely non-existent, most of the time. Cell phones will be reduced to the value of a paperweight, with the only viable signal located in the main lodge at the center of the ranch. This design is on purpose. We are supposed to leave reality behind and relax, which is a superb idea, but trust, almost everyone who shows up for our retreats is usually dragging along at least three signal-seeking devices. As bleary-eyed folks trickle into said main lodge for breakfast, the pinging of rapid-fire notifications downloading to thirsty devices creates a Cacophony of Madness.
Still and all, an active Internet connection will be a tricky thing during our respite, and I generally will not be able to make real-time updates here on Bonnywood. Since I can’t bear the wretched thought of leaving my beloved Bonnywood guests without at least some degree of regular entertainment, I am scheduling a series of posts to magically appear as if I was right there with you, when I’m actually swilling margaritas and trying to avoid being mauled by a randy bear who is enamored with some type of hormone that I’m emitting based on my daily concoction of anxiety and blood-pressure meds.
These shorter-than-usual posts will involve some of the lonely, neglected “Past Imperfects” that have appeared on my “Crusty Pie” blog but have never been revised and extended for sharing here on Bonnywood. (Those of you who are familiar with my process know that the “Past Imperfects” are born on “Crusty” as little tidbits of whimsy. After all, the tagline on that blog is “Big Pictures. Tiny Stories”.) I fully intend to eventually relocate all of the Neglected Ones over here, but I like to expand them before doing so, and some of the Left-Behinds are in such a status because I’m hitting a roadblock when I try to envision a worthy expansion.
And this is where you come in, Dear Reader. Your questionable mission concerning these abbreviated (at least for Bonnywood) posts, should you accept said opportunity (no pressure, of course) is to follow one or more of the following directives:
1. Read the post. (I realize this seems a given, but some people never actually do that part.)
2. Chuckle, if moved to do so.
3. Contemplate how the proffered seed could become a tree.
4. Wander off and do something else for a while, because the pressure is too intense.
5. Wander back and add a comment, suggesting how I might be able to water the lonely seed.
6. Ignore all of the above and carry on with your life, which is what 97% of the folks following this blog will do. Not judging, just saying; there’s only so much time in the day, and I respect that. (But don’t expect to be invited to stay at the Murder Cabin the next time we tromp off to Hidden Valley Ranch, just saying, part two.) And I am quivering with anticipation concerning the 3% of folks who will actually toss out random but delicious story ideas.)
And, that’s it. Summation: I’ll be out of pocket for a while, I’ll be sharing snippets of underdeveloped Crustiness in the interim, seeking your participation and validation, and I may or may not be mauled by a bear. In other words, just another day at Bonnywood. (Even though I won’t be here.)
Note: I’m sure some of you easily deciphered such, but the opening photo is a snap of the Intermission title card displayed on movie screens at the midpoint of the original release of “Gone with the Wind”.