Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #182

Left to right…

Guy #1: “Golly gee, I can’t believe I got elected to Congress with these other fine gentlemen. I was just trying to get a fishing license and I guess I filled out the wrong paperwork. I don’t even know where Washington is. I wonder if I can bum a ride with one of these fellas.”

Guy #2: “I knew I’d win. My family has money. People who have money always win. That’s America.”

Guy #3: “So far, no one has figured out that I am not a citizen of this country, so my plan to topple the government and reclaim this country for Holland is going smoothly. Wait a minute, am I wearing my wooden shoes? Damn it, I better call my lawyer, there’s sure to be questions when this hits the front page.”

Guy #4: “Hey, y’all. I got drunk again this morning, so that explains the tie. And my smile. Do you know where I can get some nachos?”

Guy #5: “I don’t trust anyone, not a soul. That’s why I have a portable lie detector shoved up under my hat. As for my oddly-shaped hips, well, I’m not at liberty to talk about that.”

Guy #6: “I’m a Republican, which is why I’m facing in a different direction than anybody who has actually read the Constitution. Don’t worry about what my hands are doing behind my back. I’m not hiding anything. Swear.”

Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here.

15 replies »

  1. Okay one small observation (that is NOT criticism okay?) That ain’t SHORT in any way. It’s nicely sized and a medium short blog post. One liners are short. But your observations of that shady buncha yahoos is spot on! And contestants #3 and #4 are both aliens (no bias judging on whether or not they’re illegal and further that Holland (I thought) boasted mostly Nordic blonde tall people. I know a tulip is almost required accessorization for those people, where’s his tulip? Oh. Behind #6’s back. The thief! Well whaddya expect from those reds? (apologies to any communists who may read this and feel slighted. I’m talking about AMERICAN REDS, who are far more insidious and corrupt than any commie from the Cold War dreamt of in their wildest dreams ♪♫♪).

    Liked by 1 person

    • True, this is not a short, and I didn’t take it as criticism at all. You know you can say whatever and we’re good.

      Now, contestants #3 and #4 are clearly a bit shady in their appearance, so we know that we can never trust them, especially #3. He just looks like a mean sumbitch and he needs to get off my land, pronto. (Don’t make me use this cattle brand, because I will.) And #6 looks mean as well, but in an ineffectual way. Either one of us could take him down with a harsh word about his manhood. He’ll crumble immediately, as do most bullies when you give back what they’re giving. And finally, that Moody Blues video? I haven’t seen that one in forever. I do like it, aside from the odd section where I those people are doing synchronized dancing in the streets for no apparent reason. Then again, that’s a go-to with many music videos…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ah. The dancing in the streets bit in that video. I too watched it intently because I hadn’t seen it in decades, but it seemed perfect for this Imperfect somehow. The dancing in the streets is Ms. Molly’s (the sad woman we see at various points throughout the video moping over that blonde guy whom she’s NEVER gonna get with (or she did get with one time, but they were only 19 and well, things change, physiques change and it’s best not to prod old lovers.. Point is that old(er) women tend to daydream about ‘lost’ opportunities and think back on times that probably never were, but existed in memory, generously painted with lots of rose coloring. How do I know ‘she’ feels like that (or more accurately the video/script writer? Because I did the same thing ‘once upon a time.” With dancing (in the street). Back-up dancers in your memories are awesome (and nope. Mine don’t come from hell 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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