Kent, left: “My darling, you seem troubled.”
Mae, right: “Well, I suppose there’s something I should tell you, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”
Kent: “You know I love you eternally. There’s nothing you can say that will make me unhappy.”
Mae: “It’s just that… well, you were away so long with that war thing, and I got lonely, and… things happened.”
Kent: “Whatever does that mean, my sunshine?”
Mae: “It means that your sunshine cast her rays on another man.”
Kent: “I don’t understand. Did you do something with a flashlight?”
Mae: “Well, that’s one way to put it.”
Kent: “So you helped someone find their way home?”
Mae: “That’s another way to put it. But I’m not sure if you’re following me.”
Kent: “Are you going somewhere?”
Mae: “No, I’ve already been there. I need you to listen to me. It’s a wretched tale, but it must be told. I was at the barn dance, on the refreshment committee, and I was serving punch. And being that near the punch bowl all night, I perhaps sampled more than I should have. So when this swarthy gentleman walked into the room, with biceps that made me tingle, I was perhaps a bit too enthusiastic about my attention to his arms. And his swarthiness. And the fact that you were overseas.”
Kent: “Always thinking of me, aren’t you, my pet.”
Mae: “Well, not always. He asked me to join him back at his hotel. And I agreed.”
Kent: “Is this where the flashlight comes in? Was he the one you helped home?”
Mae: “Oh, I did more than help. Before I knew it, I was doing something with his flashlight, very similar to what you are doing now with your hand.”
Kent: “My hand? Oh, you mean this pumping action? That’s just a reflex memory from shoving powder into the artillery guns. I sometimes find myself doing this in the middle of the night.”
Mae: “I found myself doing it as well. And a few other things. Then the gun went off. And now… now, I’m with child.”
Kent: “You adopted children? Whatever for?”
Mae: “No, I’m going to have a child. Because I was intoxicated by punch and biceps and a bad decision.”
Kent: “Are you saying that you’re pregnant? How can that be? I’ve been overseas for two years.”
Mae, stunned at the unending imbecility and no longer interested in softening the blow: “How in the world are you able to dress yourself in the morning?”
Previously published, slight changes made. In an interesting twist, Mae eventually gave birth to a boy that she named Punch, with the delivery occurring on the same day that Kent married a woman from Pawhuska, Oklahoma named Judy. Kent didn’t make that connection, either…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
Haha! Hilarious
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Thanks, Sadje!
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You’re welcome 😻
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…and we have not yet pinned down how Kent dresses himself in the morning.
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I will never again sleep the night through until I know. I also lie a lot, so there’s that angle… 😉
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Kent takes the whole morning. He eats a hearty lunch.
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Kent seems less than able to get any kind of grip on Mae’s rapidly unravelling innuendos. This Kents’ one stupid muppet.
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Sadly, in most of the red states in this country, Kent could be (and has been) easily elected as governor…
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😁😁💗 good end!
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Thank you, my friend.
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But it was very cool and fun. 😉
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Does Kent come home to serve in the Senate?
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Don’t they all?
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She should have carried on with the flashlight.
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Oh, but she did. She did, indeed…
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does kent remember to put pants on? i think she’s definitely better off on her own, otherwise would have 2 children to care for.
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Exactly. There’s only so much time in the day, so you might as well focus your energies on flashlights that actually work in the way you would them to do…
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My first impression was that they look like siblings so maybe they are related somehow, somewhere and you know what happens with incest…. Obviously he is the one at the lower end of that incestuous gene pool.
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Oh, so you went the incest route, did you? Good on ya. I should have explored that angle further, but I only had so many innuendos in me at the time I wrote this…
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Kent’s going to make a wonderful father. Lol
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Assuming that he ever understands how he became one…
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The biceps never did a thing for me. Now the rear view… oh my🤤 I miss the days of Levi’s 501 jeans…
Ummmm…. 😳
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I miss the days when I actually HAD a rear in 501s. It’s just not fair how things shift about as the decades rack up… 😉
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Some guys you just can’t confess to…
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And other guys assume there’s a confession when there really isn’t one… 😉
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Too funny🤣🤣🤣
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I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Oh that ending.. but I’m betting it still went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over his head.
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It went so far over his head that he didn’t even feel the breeze… 😉
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Now if only there was a cure for stupid …
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Dream big, my friend. Dream big… 😉
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