Leslie, left: “My dearest wish is that you understand how much I care for you. You are my pearl, my endless delight, my everything.” Bette: “Well, I’ve got a few wishes of my own. Three of them, actually. First, somebody needs to speak to you about halitosis. It’s […]
Ernie: “Well, would you look at that. Those fancy Hollywood reporters are following us into the woods cuz they think we’re somethin’ special.” Addie Mae: “Sugar, they ain’t reporters. Them are dentists lookin’ for some revenue cuz Obamacare says they got to do some actual work if they […]
Joan: “Look, I understand that you are upset, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be shoving your hand anywhere near my bosom. You’re not a casting director.” Cliff: “No, you don’t understand. I have been in the kitchen all day, sweating my ass off and […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 9. The issue about the things you shove in a bird. First off, we have this raging debate on what one calls the bread-based concoction that one uses to […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. (Fair admission: This Part is not quite as loving as the First Part.) Or you can just plunge right in… 4. The madness of idiots who have somehow passed a driving test at some […]
1. Getting all that crap out of the attic. Dragging boxes out of their non-holiday nursing home wasn’t such a big deal 20 years and 30 pounds ago. It wasn’t my favorite activity even then, but I could generally haul the goods in less than 15 minutes […]
Note: It’s the holiday season, which means it’s also time for me to drag out some of my admittedly over-shared “Christmas” posts. Let’s start with this one, a reflection on priorities. And yes, “Crate & Barrel” is a real chain of fancy-ass emporiums. Ah, that time of year […]
Perfume bottle on the left: “Oh, God, she’s doing it again.” Powder puff on the right: “I feel your pain. All we want is to just sit on this table in peace and hope that nobody knocks our asses to the floor where we shatter into a thousand […]
Ramon: “Aw, hell, why are you crying this time?” Harriet: “I just feel so blue about our relationship. We seem to be in a rough patch and I don’t know why. Is it something I’ve done?” Ramon: “Not really. Although maybe you shouldn’t cling to me like I’ve […]
Him: “So, it’s happening again, is it?” Her: “I’m afraid so. It’s Christmas time in the city.” Him: “Silver bells and snowy WordPress themes?” Her: “Ring-a-ling and hear them ping.” Him: “You know, when I was a wee lad, I really enjoyed Christmas. So much wonder and hope.” […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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