Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #546


Tallulah Bankhead: “Dear God, would you look at me in these publicity shots? The stress fractures on my face are bad enough, but that claw-hand I’ve got going on is far too much. I really need to cut it back to one bottle of bourbon a day. John Barrymore was right. Drinking your way to happiness has an expiration date.”

Tab Hunter: “Well, I couldn’t legally drink until three hours ago, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about. But I’m really concerned about this odd red splotch on my shirt, since this is a black-and-white photo and all. What do you suppose it means?”

Tallulah: “It means that you aren’t paying enough attention to me. You have hundreds of years left in your career as long as you sleep with the right people. Speaking of, what are you doing later tonight?”

Tab: “Not you. Besides, I thought you liked the ladies.”

Tallulah: “Oh, I like anybody that doesn’t put up a fight. Life is much easier when you don’t worry about the plumbing. So, what do you say?”

Tab: “I still say no. But I am curious about the John Barrymore angle. Did he put up a fight?”

Tallulah: “Hmm. Well, I suppose the polite thing to say would be that when John did bare more, I had to call Room Service for a magnifying glass. Even then, I still didn’t find what I was looking for.”

Tab: “I can assure you that you won’t need a magnifying glass with me. You can see my credentials from space. How do you think I got this part in the first place?”

Tallulah: “Say, maybe that’s what the red splotch on your shirt means. I hope this coding system catches on, with gals knowing what they can expect on the horizon without having to navigate through a lot of pointless small-talk at pick-up bars. It would certainly cut down on my bourbon intake. Are you sure you don’t want to orbit my satellite?”

Tab: “Definitely. Perhaps I should point out that the red splotch should really be pink. If the plumbing isn’t right, my wrench doesn’t tighten.”

Tallulah: “So we’re back to John Barrymore, are we?” 


Previously published, slight changes made. In a recent post (found here) I babbled about that story image being one of only three Past Imperfect photos that featured color. THIS is the second of the three, and that’s the main reason I’m re-sharing it. The third of the three? The very first one, Past Imperfect – #1. Please scribble this intel into your Bonnywood Manor Trivia Diary, as I’m sure there will be a quiz at some point. Or maybe not. My focus issues are well-documented by now. Cheers.


24 replies »

  1. So Brian, here’s something completely unrelated to the post. 😋 I was thinking of seeking your wisdom on a blog-related query, but I couldn’t find an email ID anywhere on the page. How might one proceed now? 😄

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow, I looked up John Barrymore in Wikipedia and discovered a huge Barrymore family. LOL. I didn’t know that. Drew Barrymore is from such a well known acting family. They all have the acting genes, I guess.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, there were many members of the Barrymore (and Drew) families that were famous actors, for several generations, starting in the late 1800s. By the time John and his two siblings (Lionel and Ethel) began acting in the late early 1900s, the family was so popular that they were considered acting royalty, to the point that a Broadway play was produced in 1927 entitled, no surprise, “The Royal Family”.

      I think it’s interesting that Drew Barrymore’s first name is actually the last name of her paternal great-grandmother…

      Liked by 1 person

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