Errol Flynn, far left: “I have no idea what’s going on right now. This might have something to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking since last Tuesday. It’s entirely possible that I owe somebody somewhere a lot of money for a stunning bar tab, but that’s the least of my worries. I’m more concerned about why anyone would think it wise to cut into that giant burrito on the coffee table.”
Nora Eddington, near left: “I realize that I’m a low-grade actress whose best screen credit is that I managed to marry Errol Flynn. But I’m not as dumb as some people think I am, despite the fact that I allowed the stylist on this shoot to tie up my hair with a leftover flour sack. I was savvy enough to tip the cook with some of Errol’s beer money so the cook would slip a live piranha into Rita’s birthday cake. If Rita is out of the picture, the rest of us move up the food chain. That’s how Hollywood works.”
Rita Hayworth, near right: “I don’t like anybody in this scene. And this birthday cake is the ugliest thing I’ve seen since I walked in on Joan Crawford getting a Brazilian Wax on the set of Where the Red Burn Grows. Still, I’m better than Trampy Nora at knowing how Hollywood works, which is why I used Orson’s beer money to double-tip the cook so the piranha would not end up in this cake and could continue its career as a movie producer. The best advice I ever got was to make sure that you have a plan. The second-best advice? Make sure you’re the one holding a knife if you don’t have a plan.”
Orson Welles, far right: “I once made a movie called Citizen Kane. Praise me. Say, why does that burrito cake smell like fish bait? I should probably stop Rita before she cuts into it. On the other hand, the cameras are already rolling, and a good director, like me, the man who made Citizen Kane, knows that you should always keep the cameras rolling and hope that something interesting happens and then you can pretend that you scripted it that way. This is how you win awards.”
Odd centerpiece that has been rudely shoved to the side of the coffee table: “There’s so much narcissism in this room that I’m surprised the Earth hasn’t shifted on its axis.”
Previously published, modified slightly for this post. For the record, I have never had a Brazilian Wax, although there was a long-ago incident involving a bottle of Nair, a situation that I may or may not share in a future post. At least Rita Hayworth didn’t show up during the confusion. Not that I recall, anyway…
Categories: Past Imperfect
Bonnywood Manor 
Did you know Errol Flynn had schnauzers that went everywhere with him?
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You realize how easily I could turn your comment into a ribald adventure, yes? 😉
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Go for it.
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I had to stop reading at Joan Crawford getting waxed. There are only so many terrifying mental images a girl can take.
😱
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Agreed. I clearly crossed a line with that bit. Sometimes I can’t help myself, despite knowing better… 😉
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Those facial expressions. They do indeed each appear to be anticipating..something. Maybe that alien creature that exploded out of that guy’s belly..
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Oh, I like the “Alien”/sci-fi connection. Perhaps these are really pod people, and “Rita” is opening the latest replicant sent by the mothership…
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Was it Escape from the body snatchers where the replacements had no emotions? That is what those frozen expressions reminded me of..
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😂
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🙂 🙂
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The way smokin’-eyed Errol’s cupping his hand he just wants to blow this joint.
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Good eye. Well, if that’s the case, we know he’ll enjoy the hell out of whatever it is Rita is cutting up to serve. Everything tastes better when Maryjane’s been cookin…
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Flynn looks like he’s swallowed a sour mouse. Or maybe it was the piranha. 😉
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Or maybe the sudden realization that he’s dating a 12-year-old…
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Ewww. I knew he was a terrible womaniser, but he was involved with underage girls?
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Oh, I have no idea what his predilections might have been. But I do know that he was married to Nora Eddington (the gal sitting beside him) at the time of this photo, and she looks like she just got back from the junior high prom. Sometimes I’m a little more snarky than I really should be… 😉
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I didn’t think you were snarky. 🙂 Actually, I looked him up after leaving the last comment, and it turns out that two underage girls made complaints about him. As well, he apparently was a voyeur and had peepholes and secret hiding places in the bathrooms and bedrooms of his house so that he could spy on his female guests. He also had major health issues caused by a multitude of STDs and malaria (and his drinking and drug abuse). He had problems.
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I chuckled at the “leftover flour sack” part.
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For me, it’s the little “throw away” lines that are the most fun to write… 😉
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I’m very glad that you mentioned the dead-plant centerpiece, Brian. Who sets up these shots? Ha ha.
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I knew that my investigative skills would be called into question if I didn’t highlight the barren vegetation… 😉
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Ha ha ha ha. You got that right!
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This picture is priceless – of all your pics, I think this is my fav…today.
Well done.
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That’s EXACTLY how my mind works. I have a new fav picture almost daily, in more ways than one… 😉
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