Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #544

Carole, Actress: “Wait a minute, I’m sensing something.”

Robert, Actor: “And I’m sensing that you’re straddling my crotch with malevolent intent. Not that I mind.”

Carole: “No, it goes beyond our crude attempt to get past the censors with suggestive but benign foreplay. It seems that a writer of some kind is trying to make this scene more interesting than it really is.”

Robert: “I’m not sure what you mean. Perhaps I could better understand your ramblings if this photo wasn’t so fuzzy.”

Carole: “You’re right, it’s not clear, probably because it’s been too long since I had a juice cleanse. You really have to keep on top of those things. Hold on. The writer seems intent on creating dialogue that never happened.”

Robert: “Oh, I know who you’re talking about. That writer lives at Bonnywood Manor. He really doesn’t get out much so you can’t trust a single thing he types.”

Carole: “So you’re saying that I should just ignore him?”

Robert: “Of course. Everyone else does. Did you ever hear of Bonnywood Manor before this scene?”

Carole: “No, not that I recall.”

Robert: “My point exactly. Some people don’t understand that being subversive and witty doesn’t necessarily sell movies.”

Alfred Hitchcock, Director: “Excuse me?”  

Note: This is Exhibit #20 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found here.

19 replies »

  1. Forget the blurry cinematography, they both have focus issues; he’s got the dull-eyed vacant stare, she’s a girl with the faraway eyes. Could be due to Method acting, could be the bottle of full-proof Tanqueray they knocked back before the director called ‘Action!’


    • Or perhaps these two were just TIRED, as back in that day actors made 15 movies a year without pause, whilst in the current day an actor MIGHT make one movie every two years…

      But in the end, I’m still voting for Tanqueray…


  2. Since I’m precaffeinated I’m a little fuzzy, like the shot.

    All I could come up with is a comparison between the two movies of the same title.

    Carole could have a psychic vision of Brad & Angelina while Robert appears to only care about the straddling🤷🏼‍♀️

    Maybe inspiration is waiting in my first cuppa☕☕☕🤷🏼‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Really, though, it’s essentially the same thing, despite the decades between the two versions: Popular stars of the time frolic about and most everyone is more concerned about the off-screen dynamics rather than the plot. Such is the way of American politics…

      Liked by 1 person

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