Author Archives

Brian Lageose

Past Imperfect – #381

Humphrey Bogart, left: “I told you to stop arguing with me. Don’t you understand that I have a gun pointed at you?” Bette Davis, right: “But that’s what I’m talking about. I can’t take that gun seriously. Did you steal it from one of the munchkins in The […]

Past Imperfect – #379

Greta was feeling a bit blue. She hadn’t seen her lover in days and she was beginning to suspect that their torrid relationship had run its course. If so, then Ramon’s sudden disinterest had come at a rather inopportune time, as he had been handling both her and […]

Past Imperfect – #341

Velma was troubled. It was bad enough that this was the anniversary of the day her beloved was cruelly ripped from her life, the result of a tragic plumbing accident that no one saw coming. It was even worse that Velma, on a simple quest to procure a […]

Past Imperfect – #335

Douglas Fairbanks, left: “Well, here we go again.” Mary Pickford, right: “Now, Dougie, let’s not be grumpy. You know we have to deal with the press, it’s just what we do as Hollywood Royalty.” Douglas: “But why do we have to let them into our house? It’s annoying.” […]

Past Imperfect – #362

That wicked crafting tool makes another appearance… Theresa: “Okay, I finally finished up on this homemade valentine that you insisted I make for your husband and… are you even listening to me?” Marlene: “Of course I’m listening to you, darling, I’m just not looking at you.” Theresa: “You […]

Past Imperfect – #365

At first glance, this appears to be a lovely image of young lasses enjoying a rather uncoordinated but still festive game of leapfrog. In actuality, this image was snapped at the Margaret Thatcher Correctional Facility for Undisciplined Urchins, just as the troubled felon-ettes were searching for a homemade […]

Past Imperfect – #359

Gunnar, left: “Okay, help me understand why you’re acting this way.” Eva, right: “You couldn’t possibly grasp my needs. You’re a man, I’m a woman. Different worlds.” Gunnar: “Really? So my ownership of a penis precludes me from any value in this relationship?” Eva: “Essentially. You willfully choose […]

Past Imperfect – #345

Evelyn: “What on earth are you doing in my apartment? And why are you holding my diaphragm case?” Inspector: “Is that what this is? I thought maybe you were collecting those little Jewish hats. But since we’re on the subject, why is this case encrusted with rhinestones?” Evelyn: […]