Author Archives

Brian Lageose

Past Imperfect – #392

When Alberta set her mind to something, she was determined to see it through. Henry, standing on the porch: “What the hell are you doin’, woman?” Alberta: “Us women just got the right to vote and I’m off to do it.” Henry: “But there ain’t no election today. […]

Past Imperfect – #294

Bette Davis, left: “Olivia, girlfriend, hold up a minute…” Olivia de Havilland, right: “God, this fried rice is so good. This is better than winning an Oscar.” Bette: “You’ve got my hair caught in your chopsticks.” Olivia: “You still have hair? I assumed that was a wig.” Bette: […]

Past Imperfect – #480

Peter, left: “Dr. Greenstreet, my wife and I are quite grateful that you were able to come on such short notice. We called you in because the whole town knows you are a specialist at analyzing odd objects that have not been properly framed by the cinematographer. What […]

50 Classic Redneck Movies

It’s amazing how messing with just a word or two in a title can totally change your marketing demographic…   1. “The Combine Strikes Back” 2. “Lawrence of Alabama” 3. “The Sound of Mooing” 4. “A Streetcar Named Bessie Mae” 5. “From Here to That Tree over Yonder” […]

Past Imperfect – #463

Ramon: “Hello, my name is Ramon. I am posing in the sexual way on this railing of boat so you will want to see all of my movies and tell others of them.” Photographer: “What the hell? You don’t need to talk. We’re just doing publicity shots here.” […]

Past Imperfect – #163

Director: “It’s really not necessary for you to lift your arms like that in this scene.” Lupe: “You don’t understand. I can’t help it. They’ve put so much mascara on me that every time I blink my eyes the shock waves bouncing back from the floor are creating […]