1. “Is there a particular reason why you can’t unload the dishwasher? Is it a religious issue?” 2. “That button on the DVR remote that says ‘Delete All’? What happens if you accidentally push that? And what happens if I’m the one who pushed it?” 3. “You think […]
Howdy, folks. How y’all doin’? Good to hear. Listen, me and the mister finally made our way out of the high-ass elevation of Pecos, New Mexico and down to the flat-ass no elevation of Dallas, Texas, rumbling into Bonnywood Manor all dusty and cranky. (Ain’t nuthin’ gonna test […]
Bette: “At one point I cared, but then I sobered up. Now I just want to make sure that whatever is happening over there can’t be connected back to me in any way.” Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here. P.S. And […]
Let’s hope that the mirror, mirror explains to Giselle that one doesn’t pair frilly window treatments with low-grade Venetian blinds. (We’ll overlook the glaring, slatternly choice of nearly exposing her trundle bed to the world. Some people have challenges in their life that just can’t be met.) Note: […]
Bob: “There’s this new thing they’re inventing, it’s called television. I think you should give it a try.” Lucille: “Gee, I don’t know. You think I’d be any good at it?” Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here.
Basil: “Halt. Before you proceed, you must answer an important question. Is that Jheri-Curl in your hair?” Tyrone: “Of course not. It hasn’t been invented yet. More importantly, is that a tornado tattoo where you sideburn should be? Have you joined a street gang recently?” Basil: “Heavens, no. […]
Robert: “I sure hope this movie is a hit. I don’t want to be one of those people who ends up working with animals in a TV series. Especially birds, birds are the worst, they always upstage you.” Scott: “Well, I really don’t care what project I work […]
Truman Capote was completely unaware when he was taking this selfie that it would eventually inspire Tennessee Williams to write “The Night of the Iguana”… Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here.
Contestant on the Left: “I really think I’m going to win this beauty pageant. I have the longest fake curls, I placed a discreet tiara on my head as a subliminal message, and I bravely chose to wear dark stockings instead of the standard virginal-white. Like anybody up […]
Left to right… Guy #1: “Golly gee, I can’t believe I got elected to Congress with these other fine gentlemen. I was just trying to get a fishing license and I guess I filled out the wrong paperwork. I don’t even know where Washington is. I wonder if […]