Gary Cooper, left: “I’d really prefer it if you would stop clutching me in such a manner.” Jean Arthur, center: “But darling, just because I’ve been convicted of manslaughter and you’ve filed for divorce doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends.” Gary: “We might have to disagree on […]
Hey Folks, Something of an outlier post this time, with not so much of the funny but nothing really tragic or sad. Or political. (Surprise!) Two things to share… One, WordPress is in the midst of yet another head-scratching round of updates. Part of this change is that […]
Claire stood on the back patio, undecided, trying to focus, trying to breathe. It was all simply too much to process, too much to consider. And she had to decide now? It was insane. This morning she had been unaware, concerned with nothing more than which packet of […]
Henry: “I told you that I don’t want to talk about it.” Anais: “But Henry, we are both progressive writers who have challenged the world to let us speak freely and openly, without hesitation, about our basic carnality and the ways in which we pursue and express it. […]
One from the archives… At 5:30pm, a van rolled up our driveway, carrying the second wave of relatives to come a callin’ in as many weekends. (As I’m sure you can imagine, my eyes lit up with sheer joy upon noting their arrival. Swear.) At 5:31, the van […]
Awkwardly-Clingy ticket-taker at the Toulouse-Lautrec Metro Station in Paris: “Madamoiselle, I don’t know why you felt compelled to leap over the turnstile whilst bellowing something in Swedish, but I can’t have you running amok in the bowels of this city without acknowledging fair trade agreements. It’s anarchy!” PETA-defying […]
Betty was a bit concerned. She could hear the folks outside her dressing room, babbling about the thing that someone had done to the actress in the other dressing room. Betty was fully aware of the thing, because she had done it. But she thought she had done […]
Larry: “What fresh hell is this?” Jennie: “It appears that an army of photographers is aware of the fact that we were having a meeting with a marriage counselor. I wonder how that might have happened, He Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut.” Larry: “I assure you I […]
1. “I am king of this box. And my rule will be unstoppable. Anyone who questions my authority will find a mangled cricket on their pillow tonight.” 2. “Why are you asking me to smile? Our people smile for no one.” 3. “Don’t you dare come at me […]
1. I really shouldn’t have had that ginormous Cobb Salad this afternoon. I enjoyed the hell out of it, but the ensuing personal propulsion, so to speak, is knocking me off balance and I can’t walk from room to room with any degree of grace. Damn you, fiber! […]
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