Charlie was surprised when the Immigration Officer informed him that he wasn’t allowed to bring that many mistresses into the country. The Immigration Officer was surprised that Charlie had tried to claim on his declarations form that the mistresses were “work-related purchases”. Most of the mistresses were surprised […]
As he tossed and turned, covered in a light sweat, the writer had a fever dream wherein, late one dark and stormy night, certain correspondents knocked on the door at Bonnywood Manor, demanding entry and entertainment and booze. The writer sighed (inwardly), smiled graciously (outwardly), and turned to […]
1. You watch a TV show that you’re not all that interested in just because you’re too exhausted to figure out how to get to that Guide channel on the new remote that your partner keeps swapping out every two weeks. (Why must we always have new ones? […]
At the premiere of the newest talkie, All This and a Bag of Chips, everyone who was anyone in Hollywood showed up at Grubman’s Vietnamese Art Deco Movie Palace and Taqueria. Milling about in the crowd of artificially young and beautiful was the ravishing (according to her press […]
Clarissa, left: “Bernadette, honey, I don’t know if you were right about this hat.” Bernadette, right: “Don’t be silly. It’s terribly fashionable and it makes a statement.” Clarissa: “The statement it’s making is that I can’t see a damn thing. I’m just looking in the direction of your […]
Yes, Colleen was dismayed to learn that her beau had fallen under the spell of that harlot from her Garden Club. Luckily, Colleen had recently installed a lovely contraption wherein all she had to do was pull the rope to her left and the home-wrecking vixen would plummet […]
Blanche, left, wandering into the living room from wherever she had been but she no longer was: “Rose, darlin’, what on earth are you watchin’ on that wretched news program that is making you weep so? You shouldn’t watch things that make you cry. All that wetness makes […]
Vivien, the Actress, playing a proper British Southerner: “Well, I declare. I am outraged at your suggestion.” Clark, the Actor, playing whatever role brought the best paycheck: “Frankly, my dear, you’re always outraged.” Victor, the Director (well, the director once they canned George Cukor): “Aw, geez, my ulcer […]
As the extended and exasperating election drama plays out in America (yes, I’m taking my anxiety medication, no worries there), I thought I’d drag a few of the tinier Past Imperfects out of the archives. Some of these are not exactly stellar in composition, but hopefully you’ll get […]
Hey, Folks. Quick intermission post today… In roughly 30 hours, the first election polls will start closing in America as the “official” Election Day winds down. (Over 95 million citizens have already made their choices in early voting, a record, as people get their votes locked and secured […]
Recent Comments