Author Archives

Brian Lageose

99 Degrees of Annoying Suckage

Today was not the best of days. The proceedings began when I was wrenched awake at the ungodly hour of 8am. Naturally, some of you will scoff at this timestamp, having already been awake for hours and having helped raise a barn in Amish country before breakfast. (You […]

Past Imperfect – #243

Note: For those of you unfamiliar with American politics, Sarah Huckabee was one of many Press Secretaries for Donald Trump… During the Depression, funding for public playgrounds dried up, so the little urchins had to make do with what they could find. Luckily, at least for Little Sarah […]

Past Imperfect – #403

Mary Pickford: “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Mirror: “I said that you really shouldn’t leave the house wearing such a mess. Especially if you plan to flop your hands around like that. You’re not six years old anymore, honey.” Mary: “But I’m America’s Sweetheart!” Mirror: “Well, you […]

Past Imperfect – #277

Jimmy: “I’m sorry, what did you just ask?” Maggie: “Where is your Husband Department?” Jimmy: “Are you trying to find the Men’s clothing section?” Maggie: “No, Husband. I need a new one.” Jimmy: “May I inquire as to what’s wrong with the old one?” Maggie: “He’s just not […]

Whispers of What Was and Is

Alyssa was done with this mess, and she had no qualms about sharing her thoughts on the matter with her mother. “Why are you dragging me through these stupid woods?” Mother had an equal lack of qualms. “Because you’ve done some dumb-ass things lately and you need to […]

Almost Wordless Wednesday – #19

Disclaimer: The opening photo is not the selection for this week’s writing prompt. It’s just a random, placeholder snap meant to get your attention so I get can drag you further into the questionable Bonnywood web. (Although it should be mentioned that the placeholder does have a tenuous […]

Past Imperfect – #584

Later that night, the sisters at Saint Expulsia’s Convent of Cloistered Celibates were unable to sleep, probably because someone had put just a little too much sugar in the tapioca pudding served at the Chastity Dinner earlier that night. Bored and vibrating, they gathered in Sister Socialita’s spartan […]

Past Imperfect – #583

Left to right… George: “Pray tell me, fellow Unbobble Heads, what am I looking at down there? Is that one of those orange-topped warthogs I read about in National Spyrographic?” Tom: “Uh, no. Wrong species, but close. That’s a Trump.” Teddy: “A trump? What the hell is that? […]