Reporter: “Hey, gals. I couldn’t help but notice that you’re all pointing guns at me. Is there something I need to know in this situation?” Daisy, left: “Oh, sorry. We ain’t tryin’ to kill you or nothin’. We’re just practicin’ so we can be better shooters and improve […]
This little holiday doesn’t have quite as much going for it, unlike the flashier Thanksgiving and Christmas spectaculars, filled as they are with rituals like massive feasts and drunken relatives bickering over stupid things. Basically, May Day involves flowers and people prancing around a stripper pole. That’s about […]
The next day, all of the speaker boxes in Row Two were in mourning, as one of their own had been felled. The night before, a truck full of rednecks from Pawhuska had failed to roll down their window and disengage the audio contraption as they were leaving, […]
It was a Sisterhood Rule understood by all conscientious women: If you suddenly realize that everyone in your entourage has failed miserably with their coiffures for the day, you must divert attention from your follicular tragedies by engaging in inexplicable behavior. In this case, the members of the […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Enjoy. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena […]
Mae: “You know, something just occurred to me.” Jimmy: “And what are your thoughts, my special lady of the evening? Are you rapturously satisfied after my stellar boudoir performance?” Mae: “Oh. Did we have sex? I didn’t realize. Perhaps I was distracted.” Jimmy: “Surely you are at least […]
Some fashions are stylish and enduring. Others, not so much… Previously shared in “Crusty Pie”.
Once upon a time (okay, it was just a little over a month ago), the lovely Lynette nominated me for the “Random Acts of Kindness Award”. (Now, now. Don’t flee in terror thinking this is another one of “those” things. Stay with me.) The basic concept of the […]
Another dusty relic from the deepest corners of the archives. Fair warning: This was originally banged out during my infamous “mean girl” phase. Prepare yourselves accordingly… Setting the scene: I’m at Tierney’s Café and Tavern. (This being a Friday night, no one should be the slightest bit […]
So many things I could say. So many things that I shouldn’t… Previously shared in “Crusty Pie”.
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