Author Archives

Brian Lageose

Past Imperfect – #538

It was at this precise moment when a young Ronald Reagan began confusing “starlets who will desperately do anything to catch the eye of a casting agent” with “everybody loves me and I should run for President!” Sadly, this disconnect with reality has since become the hallmark of […]

Past Imperfect – #361

Mae and Jimmy, rehearsing the infamous grapefruit scene. Mae: “I don’t know about this. It sounds kind of violent.” Jimmy: “Don’t worry about it, doll. I’m just gonna barely tap you with it. Just like this.” Mae: “But what about that other movie where you dragged me by […]

Past Imperfect – #544

Carole, Actress: “Wait a minute, I’m sensing something.” Robert, Actor: “And I’m sensing that you’re straddling my crotch with malevolent intent. Not that I mind.” Carole: “No, it goes beyond our crude attempt to get past the censors with suggestive but benign foreplay. It seems that a writer […]

Past Imperfect – #512

Whilst other starlets dreamed of beautiful sets and handsome leading men and having a clever mansion on the good end of Sunset Boulevard, young Bette envisioned the day when she could slap Joan Crawford repeatedly during multiple takes….  Note: This is Exhibit #19 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details […]

Past Imperfect – #336

  The spectators could laugh all they wanted, but the students in Miss Elsa’s class on “How to Make Sure Your Man Has a Reason to Come Home Every Night” were fully invested in the end game… Note: This is Exhibit #17 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found […]

Past Imperfect – #255

James: “Sorry about what just happened. I had chili for lunch.” Gladys: “Oh, please. Your gassiness is nothing compared to my own personal pain. I have a dead raven on my head, my hair has been curled so tight that I can’t even open my mouth, and I’m […]

Past Imperfect – #239

In the wee New Orleans hours, a discussion takes place. Manhole Cover: “Hey buddy, what happened to you?” Sidewalk: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Manhole: “How did you get all caved-in like that?” Sidewalk: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Manhole: “I’m just trying to […]

Past Imperfect – #230

Nancy: “Would it be rude of me to mention that something about your staging of this scene is a bit off?” Director: “What? Do you not have enough spotlights on you?” Nancy: “Why do you want me to sit like this and gaze longingly at my own face? […]