And here we have one of the earliest known celebrations of marriage equality in America, with everyone quite pleased. Except for that sole Republican guy in the upper middle right, who is running for Congress in Oklahoma and has just realized that this snapshot might bode ill for […]
This is how one turns to a life of crime and indiscretion: When your older sisters force you to wear ridiculous costumes and then torment you further by laughing uproariously, despite their inability to arrange Grandma Bennett’s heirloom china in a proper table setting. The day will come, […]
Note: Okay, fessing a little, I DID try wearing contacts way back in the day, like 1983, when they were these hard, inflexible buttons that you basically had to glue to your eyeball and you couldn’t really close your eyelids comfortably when they hit that damn speed […]
Note: I’ve missed the anniversary date by a few days, but five years ago, late on the night before an anticipated ruling by the Supreme Court that could potentially change the concept of equality in America, I scribbled out this little parable, with fingers crossed… Mommy: “The end. […]
Note: Another one from the archives, this time involving a personal mea culpa to my friend Laura, who I done did wrong one day… Prosecuting Attorney Lowena Purvis cleared her throat rather demonstratively, an attention-getting device she had perfected while studying law at Beaver Valley Community College in […]
Despite this ill-advised early publicity shot, the automotive industry still managed to gain traction. In the background, Henry Ford curses the day he decided to hire family members in the promotions department just to keep the peace during holiday gatherings. He turns in disgust, ready to slink away, […]
Farley, left: “I can’t stop smiling when I look at you.” Robert, right: “Wait, that line isn’t in the script.” Farley: “Nor is my attraction to you.” Robert: “Really? Well, we just took a turn I wasn’t expecting.” Farley: “Oh, please. You’re the one that ordered the 120-proof […]
House #1: “I really don’t like the house to my left. Somebody up in there plays the Zydeco music like Jesus is coming every night. They leave crap in their backyard that really just needs to be thrown in a dumpster. And what the hell are they doing […]
Just some random silliness disguised as an actual blog post… 1. Splurch The wet spot on your car seat caused by squirting too much sanitizer into your hand and drippage occurs. 2. Ookybits The dead skin cells that start flaking off your hands due to overuse of sanitizer […]
On the movie set of “Reflections in a Golden Eye”… Director John Huston: “And over here, Liz will make her entrance in some crap designed by Valentino.” Actor Marlon Brando: “That explains all the lights. But why the big production?” John: “Because it’s Elizabeth Taylor. She never […]
Recent Comments