Note: I have to report for jury duty tomorrow, which reminded me of a sordid epic I shared a decade or so ago. So, I dug into the archives, dusted things off, and vainly tried to patch up the leaky parts. (Fair warning: This is the beginning of […]
Edwina: “Are you sure that we’re doing this right?” Bud: “Of course. I read all about it on the Internet. This is how you have safe sex.” Edwina: “But something seems a bit off. This is nothing like what happened in all those young adult novels I read […]
Larry: “What fresh hell is this?” Jennie: “It appears that an army of photographers is aware of the fact that we were having a meeting with a marriage counselor. I wonder how that might have happened, He Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut.” Larry: “I assure you I […]
Fair warning: This little nugget has been excavated from the 2010 archives, and those of you who have been with me for a while are aware that I was exceptionally persnickety during that year… 1. The people who are coupon freaks. Okay, I’m all about saving money. […]
1. The shocking incident involving phallic violence. So, we pull into Whataburger along the way, because we’re pigs and we like grease. As Terry dashes inside whilst I stay in the car and do nothing of importance concerning this lark, I spy one of those little cylindrical stands […]
Harry, far left: “Now, son, this might not sound too good, but we had to sell you off so we could pay the internet bill. This here nice man is gonna take you for a while until we figure somethin’ else out.” George, supposedly Nice Man: “We’re gonna […]
1. The constant nipple protrusion. When the temperature drops, my hi-beams come on. For hours at a time. And with an intensity that is mildly frightening. Some of my shirts are so lacerated at pec level that it looks like Edward Scissorhands dropped by for a drunken game […]
1. Car manufacturers will finally develop a special button for your dashboard which, when pushed, will cause the car in front of you at the drive-thru ATM, wherein the occupant is taking forever to make a simple transaction, to be hurled into the blazing hell of the sun. […]
Note: One, this was originally written right after a certain American political event in 2016. Two, for those who are not interested in such, this post is not about politics. (Relax.) Three, one of the plot points involves a sub-story that I just shared recently. Mea culpa for […]
Once upon a time, there was a man who had managed to amass a considerable number of wives, because government officials didn’t pay any attention to what was going on in Utah until it was too late. At first, his cavalcade of concubines had proved exceedingly satisfactory, as […]
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