Author Archives

Brian Lageose

Past Imperfect – #336

  The spectators could laugh all they wanted, but the students in Miss Elsa’s class on “How to Make Sure Your Man Has a Reason to Come Home Every Night” were fully invested in the end game… Note: This is Exhibit #17 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found […]

Past Imperfect – #255

James: “Sorry about what just happened. I had chili for lunch.” Gladys: “Oh, please. Your gassiness is nothing compared to my own personal pain. I have a dead raven on my head, my hair has been curled so tight that I can’t even open my mouth, and I’m […]

Past Imperfect – #239

In the wee New Orleans hours, a discussion takes place. Manhole Cover: “Hey buddy, what happened to you?” Sidewalk: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Manhole: “How did you get all caved-in like that?” Sidewalk: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Manhole: “I’m just trying to […]

Past Imperfect – #230

Nancy: “Would it be rude of me to mention that something about your staging of this scene is a bit off?” Director: “What? Do you not have enough spotlights on you?” Nancy: “Why do you want me to sit like this and gaze longingly at my own face? […]

Past Imperfect – #227

In an odd moment of happenstance during this shoot, the photographer not only captured Marlene in all her finger-nailed glory, he also managed to invent the tanning bed that soon invaded strip-malls worldwide…  Note: This is Exhibit #13 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found here.

Past Imperfect – #236

The cast of the 1949 version of The Great Gatsby is quite pleased with themselves, mainly because they consulted a psychic who assured them that their version will prove far more pleasing than the 1974 version (Robert Redford and Mia Farrow, making questionable career choices) and the 2013 […]

Past Imperfect – #531

Life is often confusing, but one thing is abundantly clear: In order to win the Miss America contest in 1935, contestants did whatever it took to get the rural vote…  Note: This is Exhibit #11 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found here. And yes, this is a publicity […]

Past Imperfect – #543

At the very last moment, the Sharks hired Marlon Soprano, a freelance dancer who didn’t care which team he played for as long as he got to perform his signature move, a double backflip ending in a manly split dripping with testosterone but no actual damage to the […]

Past Imperfect – #576

Prosecuting Attorney: “If it pleases the court, I’d like to present this photo as exhibit A.” Judge Crotchbump: “It doesn’t matter if it pleases me or not. You’re an attorney. You present things, I make a ruling about the quality of your presentation based on the 700 years […]